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LeftCoast

I am having mini panic attacks.

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LeftCoast

I went out this guy I didn't really know that well and got super drunk on valentine's eve. The guy kept buying me drinks and it really clouded my judgement about sleeping with him. I woke up the next day and didn't think too much about it. I wasn't interested in the guy really. Then a few days later I broke out into flu like symptoms and fevers. Then bumps started showing up in my genital area. I rushed to the doctor and she said certain it was herpes but took a swab anyways. Then she sent me off to go get blood tests. I called the guy and confronted him about the herpes symptoms I was experiencing. He thought I was overacting and didn't believe I was serious. In fact, he blew me off like what I was saying was a joke and tried flirting with me.

I will never forget him saying, "But why have you been ignoring me for a few days?" 

I was so angry, "Because I haven't been able to get out of bed and having fevers."

"Why are you so serious?"

I was almost yelling on the phone, "You don't get it. I woke up with bumps on my vag this morning."

"Oh."

"Yeah. You need to go get tested." 

A week and a half later the tests came back positive and I have HSV2.

I know it takes two to tango and I really should have used my better judgement but this motherfucker gave me herpes for Valetines day. 

Worst. Gift. Ever.

I am sorry but unless someone has a HSV2 vaccine in their back pocket there is pretty much nothing anyone can do or say that could make me feel better about this situation. I am having mini panic attacks. I am so angry. I feel so low. I feel so unlovable. I feel incredibly alone. Anyone who says herpes isn't a big deal and it's just a skin condition can screw off this. Telling me, "Hey, least it's not HIV!" doesn't make me feel better. This is probably one of the worst and isolating things that has ever happened to me. 

Edited by LeftCoast

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IcantThinkofaName
11 minutes ago, LeftCoast said:

Anyone who says herpes isn't a big deal and it's just a skin condition can screw off this. Telling me, "Hey, least it's not HIV!" doesn't make me feel better.

I totally feel your pain and agree with all your sentiments, esp the above one. I'm sorry this happened to you.

I can totally relate-I  got the worst Christmas gift ever. On Christmas day I had sores on my Vagina-( hsv2) - and a UTI and fever etc...

I have had friends tell me "oh, the way you were acting I thought you caught HIV....Hsv isn't a big deal" ...so insensitive and unsympathetic/empathetic. They don't have sores on the their privates all the time to understand the misery I go thru.

I wish I could tell you it gets better, but it hasn't for me.  

Did that guy get back to you and apologize?

HUgs to you.

 

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julie13

I feel your pain leftcoast. It feels horrible knowing that it will stay in your body for the rest of your lives. You have to have a healthy way of living to boost your immune system. I regret the day that I had sex with the guy that I thought is clean from any form of STD. He happened to be my short term boyfriend. Everything became blurry between us because of the things that happened to me. Were you tested for HIV? better if you will get tested 3 and 6 mos after your exposure to know your status.

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LeftCoast

The guy said he was getting tested but I haven’t heard back. Have I gotten an actual apology no. He offered to bring me food and I was like, “I don’t want your fucking food!” 

I did get the HIV test, it came back negative. I will probably get retested down the road as well.

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IcantThinkofaName
7 hours ago, LeftCoast said:

The guy said he was getting tested but I haven’t heard back. Have I gotten an actual apology no. He offered to bring me food and I was like, “I don’t want your fucking food!” 

I did get the HIV test, it came back negative. I will probably get retested down the road as well.

thats good you didn't catch anything else, but catching one was too much, esp. this one.

Do you think he didn't know he had it? or?

ugh. why?? 

 

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LeftCoast

I can’t be entirely certain but I’m going to take a wild guess he didn’t. If I for any reason find out he did know I am going to consider lawyering up. 

But do I think he knew? No, not really.

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IcantThinkofaName
10 minutes ago, LeftCoast said:

I can’t be entirely certain but I’m going to take a wild guess he didn’t. If I for any reason find out he did know I am going to consider lawyering up. 

But do I think he knew? No, not really.

Did your swabs and bloodwork both come back positive? 

Was it IGM or IGG bloodwork?

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LeftCoast

Yep, both positive. But I was certain it was HSV2 before the test even came back. 

 

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Quest

I will use myself as an example. I really tried hard to make sure I wanted sex and a relationship with a man. I went to get std testing with each man and have not had very many partners. I would also wait 3 months to have sex. None of that helped me. Asking for testing for the most destructive stds didn't help either. I am in a sexless marriage and have been in one for several decades. I told my H that I needed sex and was stepping out of the marriage for sex. He wasn't happy at all, but let me. We also went out for std testing, HPV, clean. Then I read the paperwork and decided the next year I would push for HSV testing. It was crazy he still didn't want to test me a year later.

Finally, after arguing, I got tested, boom I have hsvII and he had hsvI We were both shocked, I didn't really have symptoms until really started to learn about prodrome. Then, I took care of a younger sibling who was terminally ill. It was way too much for me to take care of two households and when my sibling passed away I was super stressed and boom breakout city!! Who knows how long I had been a carrier. I backtracked every relationship, They all say they are clean. Is it my husband? IDK? I am still with the same man, I adore him and my husband. My husband has no right to know unless he goes back to mattress dancing. I won't tell anyone who is not in a sexual relationship with me. I think my H would beat himself up for giving me sex. Maybe he would be mad. It was a no-brainer to tell my sexual playmate, by then, we decided to be monogamous and go bare for a year. Shocked I didn't give it to him. Shocked he still wanted me. I was even guided by a mentor who gave me an assignment on a report of the top ten stds.  Being in a MBL pool is risky, but I just could not go without sex for the rest of my life. Everyone has their story...everyone's a victim.

80% of people don't know they have it and I am sorry you have been through hell. I wish I could bring you peace. I got peace by seeing a great therapist.

ETA: Ican'tThinkOfaName is a beautiful person and she has come a long way. Write her.

 

Edited by Quest

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