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Dime_slayer

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Dime_slayer

A little background.  I met a girl at college about 8 years ago and it was love at first sight in my eyes.  We end up dating for about 5 years, then broke up almost 2 years ago.  Well in the last few weeks we met up and things are amazing.  Yesterday she had something important to tell me... she's now hsv 2 positive asymptomatic.  It's selfish but i felt like that was a huge problem.  

Now here i am trying to learn about it.  Honestly i love this woman, but the thought of painful blisters is down right terrifying.  Seeing as both of us have a strong urge to have sex with each other in crazy ways i feel like this condition would make it rather difficult to have sex in a safe manner.  

I have about 1 million questions.  So what's up guys lol

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Taintedgirl
18 minutes ago, Dime_slayer said:

A little background.  I met a girl at college about 8 years ago and it was love at first sight in my eyes.  We end up dating for about 5 years, then broke up almost 2 years ago.  Well in the last few weeks we met up and things are amazing.  Yesterday she had something important to tell me... she's now hsv 2 positive asymptomatic.  It's selfish but i felt like that was a huge problem.  

Now here i am trying to learn about it.  Honestly i love this woman, but the thought of painful blisters is down right terrifying.  Seeing as both of us have a strong urge to have sex with each other in crazy ways i feel like this condition would make it rather difficult to have sex in a safe manner.  

I have about 1 million questions.  So what's up guys lol

If you really love her go for it but if this is a quick wham bam thank you ma’am the risk in my opinion is too great. Ask her if she’s on suppression medicine as that will help protect you in the long run. 

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WilsoInAus

Welcome to the website @Dime_slayer

It is OK to feel initially like this is a huge problem. There is so much misinformation and stigma that gets in the way and confuses and elevates thinking beyond what herpes deserves.

What's up? We are here to answer all your million questions!

However I think you and your lovely partner may have a few more questions to ask of your doctor(s). I'll tell you why!

1. Wrong tests and false positives. This seems a real surprise for your partner that she has HSV-2!? It is worthwhile then confirming the infection. There are tests that do not diagnose herpes, such as IgM and there are false positives for the only credible blood test (IgG). I encourage you to obtain full details of the test that suggests your partner has HSV-2.

2. What's your status? If she is positive for HSV-2, well that opens up the possibility that you already have it. Maybe you both had it separately going into the relationship, maybe one of you infected the other during the relationship. Regardless, if you both have HSV-2 already, then it is a non issue.

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ah111351

Well I just spoke with my friend's mom who has had it since the 80s from cheating on her husband and she never used protection or passed it to him. Also, I contracted this last April but was in denial until last month when I got my second outbreak and I had sex unprotected (for 9 months!) with my boyfriend (who did not give this to me) and he has recently been tested and does not have it. And he was aware of my first outbreak! Furthermore, I have a friend who had been with her man a year, got with him a mere two months after she contracted it and he has never gotten it. Also, thinking back, I am certain the jerk that gave it to me was experiencing symptoms or I probably wouldn't have it either. I truly think assymptomic shedding is a con by big pharma to keep people on suppressive therapy. As long as she knows her body and her prodome symptoms as well as her symptoms, then I think you'll be fine. Or just use condoms and lube!!!  I understand your apprehension though. Had my "infector" told me, I certainly would've bowed out of the situation. I'm still pissed about it. But I also didn't love him. I certainly think this is something you can work around. Especially since transmission from male to female is even lower. I assure you the social stigma and the physiological effects of that are far worse than the condition itself. I wish you peace of mind with this. Best wishes!

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Scooby2112

Transmission female to male is lower (correcting typo in great post above)

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Frasier
On 3/19/2018 at 9:56 AM, Dime_slayer said:

A little background.  I met a girl at college about 8 years ago and it was love at first sight in my eyes.  We end up dating for about 5 years, then broke up almost 2 years ago.  Well in the last few weeks we met up and things are amazing.  Yesterday she had something important to tell me... she's now hsv 2 positive asymptomatic.  It's selfish but i felt like that was a huge problem.  

Now here i am trying to learn about it.  Honestly i love this woman, but the thought of painful blisters is down right terrifying.  Seeing as both of us have a strong urge to have sex with each other in crazy ways i feel like this condition would make it rather difficult to have sex in a safe manner.  

I have about 1 million questions.  So what's up guys lol

Love is one thing but your health is #1 IMO. You only have the one body and you are so very fortunate you don’t have it mate.

Everyone here would wish to switch spots with you. I wish I knew about this forum before so I’d never have sex again.

You don’t know if you’ll. Get infected. It’s a roll of the dice each time and you don’t know how your body will react to it. For some I see on this forum (myself too) it is a hellish nightmare and crippling. But for some it’s not a big deal.

A lot at play: your genetics, immune system, horomones, strains of virus, how much you get and where it goes in your body.

 

big set of dice to roll that will affect you forever. I read somewhere “love may not not forever but herpes is”.

 

Edited by Frasier

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