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xxxgirl

How to get over the fear of giving your partner herpes

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xxxgirl

Hey guys, so I recently started seeing this new guy and we had the talk the other night and it went amazingly well. He told me it didn't matter at all to him and he liked me too much to let that stop him from seeing me. He went home and did his own research and last night we had sex for the first time. He didn't seem particularly concerned with using a condom but I was not going to risk his health so we used one and it was great! This was my first disclosure since diagnosis and I'm so happy it went well. What I am struggling with is the aftermath of just worrying constantly that I've given him this. I am on suppressive therapy and we were safe but I can't shake the thought and just feel really upset and scared. Im freaking out because I have this tiny bump and I'm like holy shit is this an outbreak I honestly can't tell sometimes if things are ingrown hairs, pimples, sores because they all look similar and now anything I see I always think its herpes. I was wondering how after sex with your negative partner are you able to just be happy and not fretting 24/7 you may have passed this virus on to someone you care about. I know he took the risk and he understands the risks involved but I feel like a lot of the time people always think it won't happen to them. Im also a little afraid because this is a recent infection I know I am more contagious than I would be after about a year. I just want any tips how to cope/deal with the negative thoughts that keep creeping into my mind. Im doing everything to protect him but nothing is a guarantee and I would feel horrible if he contracted this after all my precautions. :( Its a tough situation.

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Joel Jameson

I wouldn't stress yourself out with what ifs. You completely disclosed your situation to your partner and he knows the risks involved and it's obviously not a problem for him. At least you're aware that you have it and you are taking the proper precautions to not spread it to him. Of course anything can happen, but at least you're being cautious. That's something you'd both have to deal with if and when it happens. Don't let this define you or your sex life. Have fun and enjoy yourselves as long as you are cautious and refrain from sexual activities when you feel an outbreak coming. That's all you really can do. Don't live your life in fear over it, because then you'll never truly enjoy those intimate moments. Best of luck! I'm sure it'll be fine since you're on suppressive therapy. Plus you're being cautious.

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LillianPanos

Me too told him we both did our research. I try not to worry I take my meds and try not to worry about him getting infected. 2 years this week with infection and h2. Met him by chance after breaking up with giver. @xxxgirl

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Joel Jameson

It's good that you're both informed, just enjoy your relationship. Everything happens for a reason, you're doing the right thing by being open about it. I know how frustrating it can be. I have oral HSV-1 and not sure whether or not I have it genitally. Take it from me though constantly worrying about it won't help anything, if anything stressing about it will cause more outbreaks. There seems to be a lot of good people on here that want to help each other going through the same thing that will definitely help you cope with your situation. Just knowing you're not alone in this helps a lot. 

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Jimmyjimmyhuapua

Mm you know there will always be risk of giving it to partner even with condom and antivirals if he accepted the situation and risk then dont bother urself. You are not one who is trying to hide ur condition from partners. Ofc try your best and avoid infecting. But dont blame u if he is infected

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