Jump to content
World's Largest Herpes Support Group
Sign in to follow this  
xxxgirl

How to get over the fear of giving your partner herpes

Recommended Posts

xxxgirl

Hey guys, so I recently started seeing this new guy and we had the talk the other night and it went amazingly well. He told me it didn't matter at all to him and he liked me too much to let that stop him from seeing me. He went home and did his own research and last night we had sex for the first time. He didn't seem particularly concerned with using a condom but I was not going to risk his health so we used one and it was great! This was my first disclosure since diagnosis and I'm so happy it went well. What I am struggling with is the aftermath of just worrying constantly that I've given him this. I am on suppressive therapy and we were safe but I can't shake the thought and just feel really upset and scared. Im freaking out because I have this tiny bump and I'm like holy shit is this an outbreak I honestly can't tell sometimes if things are ingrown hairs, pimples, sores because they all look similar and now anything I see I always think its herpes. I was wondering how after sex with your negative partner are you able to just be happy and not fretting 24/7 you may have passed this virus on to someone you care about. I know he took the risk and he understands the risks involved but I feel like a lot of the time people always think it won't happen to them. Im also a little afraid because this is a recent infection I know I am more contagious than I would be after about a year. I just want any tips how to cope/deal with the negative thoughts that keep creeping into my mind. Im doing everything to protect him but nothing is a guarantee and I would feel horrible if he contracted this after all my precautions. :( Its a tough situation.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Joel Jameson

I wouldn't stress yourself out with what ifs. You completely disclosed your situation to your partner and he knows the risks involved and it's obviously not a problem for him. At least you're aware that you have it and you are taking the proper precautions to not spread it to him. Of course anything can happen, but at least you're being cautious. That's something you'd both have to deal with if and when it happens. Don't let this define you or your sex life. Have fun and enjoy yourselves as long as you are cautious and refrain from sexual activities when you feel an outbreak coming. That's all you really can do. Don't live your life in fear over it, because then you'll never truly enjoy those intimate moments. Best of luck! I'm sure it'll be fine since you're on suppressive therapy. Plus you're being cautious.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
LillianPanos

Me too told him we both did our research. I try not to worry I take my meds and try not to worry about him getting infected. 2 years this week with infection and h2. Met him by chance after breaking up with giver. @xxxgirl

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Joel Jameson

It's good that you're both informed, just enjoy your relationship. Everything happens for a reason, you're doing the right thing by being open about it. I know how frustrating it can be. I have oral HSV-1 and not sure whether or not I have it genitally. Take it from me though constantly worrying about it won't help anything, if anything stressing about it will cause more outbreaks. There seems to be a lot of good people on here that want to help each other going through the same thing that will definitely help you cope with your situation. Just knowing you're not alone in this helps a lot. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Jimmyjimmyhuapua

Mm you know there will always be risk of giving it to partner even with condom and antivirals if he accepted the situation and risk then dont bother urself. You are not one who is trying to hide ur condition from partners. Ofc try your best and avoid infecting. But dont blame u if he is infected

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
      69,296
    • Total Posts
      466,215
  • Posts

    • Skrillah80
      So ur saying the herbalife was the key?? Olive leaf extract and pro biotic are good? How many mgs of Lysine did you take a day? 
    • that1youngguy
      hello all, update... so the white ulcer inside started around january 4... and today it is still there... no burning while i pee, just a constant mild irritation feel, no other symptoms i went back to get retested 2/12 so 2.5 months after exposure... including HSV, HIV, gon, chlam, everything came back negative... the doctor thinks it's some form of chlamydia, he gave my doxy for 10 days is it too soon to tell if i have HSV? is it possible to have an ulcer inside the urethra and be fungal or bacterial?
    • MikeHerp
      Probably not many.  I'm going to change my twitter symbol to the copper ribbon at least.  
    • nope1234
      okay! I guess I will just start at the basic dosage of vitamin C and go up every week little ? I take 1500 mg of super lysine like the bottle says and it still gives me gas and diarrhea. hoping it will pass if not I'll drop down to 2 a day! I really appreciate the advice! i know we would all.do ANYTNING to not have OB  at the moment idc about stigmas od boyfriends or dating or sex....I just care about FEELING healthy in my own skin. this is my one and only life 
    • Lulupazoola
      That sounds like a good place to begin.  The lysine worked really well for me for about a year and a half.  Then things got steadily worse for me and nothing worked until vitamin C.  My immune system is not that great even tho i take care of myself, so u may have good luck if u have a decent one.  With the vitamin c, u must 1) take it at intervals throughout the day, not all at once 2) dont increase the amount u r taking too fast 3) it will give u gas at higher doses and even diarrhea if u go crazy with it. These r signs to lower your dose!  If u can just control your OB's with vitamin c and lysine or anything else, maybe a cure will finally become available.  
×

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.