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Rejection and herpes

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Hey all,

So tonight I just got rejected for the first time since my diagnosis of herpes on the weekend. Though I wasn't overly keen on the guy, we got along well and after a few drinks it slipped out that my blood test had come back positive for hsv-2 (and 1, but I already knew that). 

This past weekend, my igg blood test came back positive for both strains of herpes, and my doctor simply told me to "look on the internet" for facts about the disease. Funnily enough though, I've never had symptoms. I've never had a cold sore or herpes outbreak. 

After struggling with overwhelming anxiety about what this would now mean for my future and my love life, and how I would tell my past partners, I went to a sexual health clinic for more info, and my nurse basically eased my aching heart and told me I couldn't trust a blood test and that I can't know for sure until I have an outbreak and have that swabbed. Other than that, I should just live my life. 

I told this story to this guy, as it's been a huge thing I've been coming to terms with this week, not to mention an interesting and eye opening experience, and he later invited me back to his place.  On the way thought he got quiet and when I asked what was wrong he told me he was afraid of getting herpes from me. 

I have a history of having the odd one night stand, always protected, and since my last test before this one, wherein I was clean, I'd fallen in love with someone and that person, I believe, passed the virus on to me. It's ironic to think that these things can happen even when you think you're being careful and you're with someone you love. That relationship ended and now I'm single again, but with my new diagnosis I'm going to struggle to find partners that will accept me, even though I'm not even completely sure I carry hsv-2. 

Any advice for navigating the dating world?? 


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  1.   I was the guy years and years ago who was told by a woman I was dating and I stayed and years later met another woman who had it and I stayed again,so it comes down to the person and  how educated they are about it . There are all kinds of stories on here from people who have said that this did not change their dating/sex like. After the first woman told me I educated myself and we used condoms for awhile[in those days,most people thought you could only get it from somebody who had an outbreak]after awhile w stopped using condoms and I just did not think about it and the same with the other woman.

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  • The Hive is Thriving!

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    • Rockster
      Thanks Wilson! [mistaken posti don't get how i can delete it again, sorry]
    • Rockster
      (For my case: i am not diagnosed herpes. I had genital warts. 
      I can tell her a sex partner was diagnosed with HPV, and i pretty surely have it and that's why i do it with boxer short the next months. Hm.)   https://herpesopportunity.com/downloads/herpes-opportunity-disclosure-handout.pdf https://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/stdfact-herpes-detailed.htm
    • IloveCoco
      How long after diagnosis did you start to have sex again? How did he get it on the lips?
    • Albert1988
      Hi,  I was wondering if you could describe your outbreaks or how much time it passed before you where correctly diagnosed. Or your overall experience. I am freaking out and just wearing my underwear feels uncomfortable.  How did they diagnosed you? Thank you in advanced 
    • Voyager2
      I THINK this will benefit us. If the FDA allows more aggressive research in the deadliest virus programs, such as HIV gene editing, then off-targeting and other safety issues might already be solved before Dr. Jerome  starts editing hsv in humans.

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