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Rejection and herpes

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Hey all,

So tonight I just got rejected for the first time since my diagnosis of herpes on the weekend. Though I wasn't overly keen on the guy, we got along well and after a few drinks it slipped out that my blood test had come back positive for hsv-2 (and 1, but I already knew that). 

This past weekend, my igg blood test came back positive for both strains of herpes, and my doctor simply told me to "look on the internet" for facts about the disease. Funnily enough though, I've never had symptoms. I've never had a cold sore or herpes outbreak. 

After struggling with overwhelming anxiety about what this would now mean for my future and my love life, and how I would tell my past partners, I went to a sexual health clinic for more info, and my nurse basically eased my aching heart and told me I couldn't trust a blood test and that I can't know for sure until I have an outbreak and have that swabbed. Other than that, I should just live my life. 

I told this story to this guy, as it's been a huge thing I've been coming to terms with this week, not to mention an interesting and eye opening experience, and he later invited me back to his place.  On the way thought he got quiet and when I asked what was wrong he told me he was afraid of getting herpes from me. 

I have a history of having the odd one night stand, always protected, and since my last test before this one, wherein I was clean, I'd fallen in love with someone and that person, I believe, passed the virus on to me. It's ironic to think that these things can happen even when you think you're being careful and you're with someone you love. That relationship ended and now I'm single again, but with my new diagnosis I'm going to struggle to find partners that will accept me, even though I'm not even completely sure I carry hsv-2. 

Any advice for navigating the dating world?? 


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  1.   I was the guy years and years ago who was told by a woman I was dating and I stayed and years later met another woman who had it and I stayed again,so it comes down to the person and  how educated they are about it . There are all kinds of stories on here from people who have said that this did not change their dating/sex like. After the first woman told me I educated myself and we used condoms for awhile[in those days,most people thought you could only get it from somebody who had an outbreak]after awhile w stopped using condoms and I just did not think about it and the same with the other woman.

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Try a Lysine supplement for cold sores

  • The Hive is Thriving!

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    • bufshof
      In in the Denver area if anyone is wanting to connect.
    • 35hope
      what does editas have to do with your experiment?
    • viralfrog
      Having HSV-2 has not bothered me at all for casual sex. I'm just avoiding sex during outbreaks, on suppressive therapy and using condoms every time with casual partners. Since my outbreaks appear on top of my penis, even during an outbreak the risk is minimal if I put a condom on as soon as I take my underwear off.  I guess it might be a slightly different case for a girl as if you have external lesions around your groin you could still infect someone even using a condom. And of course, condoms can break, which has happened to me over 10 times and caused myself to get infected in the first place.  I see it as a much more difficult now having a serious relationship, because I can't feel much with a condom on and really want stop using them. However, I don't want to put my new girlfriend to any risk - I would feel terrible if I infected her. 
    • viralfrog
      Does anyone have experience about people's reactions to Herpes in Asia? Personally I live in Thailand where I also caught the virus as a condom broke 4 years ago.  Unfortunately I infected my ex-girlfriend with HSV-2. This was just after I had caught the virus myself and we had sex before I noticed and realised what it was. In the beginning, a local doctor told me I have just hurt my foreskin with my jeans' zipper and the tests came as negative. After getting tested later it came as positive.  Anyways, my ex-gf (well educated, professional, 26 years old then) she had no idea what Herpes was in the first place. She didn't really care too much about it and didn't bother to get tested. During our 3 year relationship we kept having unprotected sex as usual and she never had any issues until at the end one day. She had a very minor outbreak once and nothing after that (lucky her, no like myself who gets terrible symptoms non-stop). I know she has a strong immune system, because she was never sick despite myself having bad colds quite often. In any case, she could not care less about this virus and didn't mind at all.

      I've seen a lot of hysteria surrounding Herpes in Europe and the US. What has been your experience in South-East Asian countries like Thailand? Do people perceive HSV-2 as a worrying disease? 
    • Burty
      The full article is behind a paywall but you could write the the authors and request a copy.

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