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How to Have a Normal Sex Life When My Boyfriend and I BOTH have Genital Herpes??

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Greetings! I just signed up for this forum, I am hoping to receive much needed support and answers. My boyfriend was not aware he had genital herpes, and unfortunately passed it on to me. My first, and horrible outbreak was about two weeks ago :noway:.  I was under the assumption that because we both have genital herpes, that our sex life should not be complicated. However, we were intimate a few days ago, and it felt like I was starting to get an outbreak! I am currently on my outbreak medication, that has stopped the outbreak. I am shocked as to what my doctor told me about my boyfriend and I having this together. She said that he can keep giving me new outbreaks, because he is infected with genital herpes as well. He has absolutely no symptoms, ever. I would REALLY appreciate sound advice as to how my boyfriend and I should go about being safely intimate with one another. It breaks my heart to think that we won't have a satisfying sex life anymore, if we have to use protection every time?? Secondly, is it normal to get your first outbreak after your initial outbreak a few weeks later? Not to be gross, but I should disclose I am getting over my monthly when the outbreak occurred, and have heard that getting your period could cause an outbreak. Please help....Thank you!!! :sign-thanks:

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You are quite correct in that as you both have the same herpes type, there are no issues regarding further infection once you immune system is established. It is quite common for the first few months to include a number of outbreaks while the immune system is kicking in. Once all that is firing along, you are unable to induce outbreaks on account of simply having the virus. However there can be issues of friction during sex etc. that may weaken the immune responses at the site of the irritation. I'd suggest more lubrication for a while.

It also sounds like HSV-1 from your prtner's oral infection is a possibility here. Does he get oral cold sores? Did you receive oral sex in the days before the outbreak?

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    • Rockster
      Thanks Wilson! [mistaken posti don't get how i can delete it again, sorry]
    • Rockster
      (For my case: i am not diagnosed herpes. I had genital warts. 
      I can tell her a sex partner was diagnosed with HPV, and i pretty surely have it and that's why i do it with boxer short the next months. Hm.)   https://herpesopportunity.com/downloads/herpes-opportunity-disclosure-handout.pdf https://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/stdfact-herpes-detailed.htm
    • IloveCoco
      How long after diagnosis did you start to have sex again? How did he get it on the lips?
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      Hi,  I was wondering if you could describe your outbreaks or how much time it passed before you where correctly diagnosed. Or your overall experience. I am freaking out and just wearing my underwear feels uncomfortable.  How did they diagnosed you? Thank you in advanced 
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      I THINK this will benefit us. If the FDA allows more aggressive research in the deadliest virus programs, such as HIV gene editing, then off-targeting and other safety issues might already be solved before Dr. Jerome  starts editing hsv in humans.

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