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DannyV

Hurt, Feeling dirty and just want it to end

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DannyV

I have been married for 13 years with two amazing boys. I was recently diagnosed with hsv 2. I have no idea how this could have happen my husband says he has been faithful and would never hurt me or he never slept with anyone that would make him question if they have this.   He took my virginity so it had to come from him. I gave birth to two boys and nothing ever came up no sore or anything. So he had to step out of are marriage. I love my kids and they need me but I just feel like I want to dig a hole and die. I feel betrayed and lied to. All I do is take a shower a scrub my body, constantly wash my hand. I don’t want my kids to touch my I don’t want to pass this on to my little boys. I’m just so hurt and angry. Yesterday night I just wanted to run my car onto incoming traffic. This depression is really taking a toll on my life and I am scared what I might do. Before finding  out I was alway bubbly cheerful and happy now I just want to lay in bed and scream at the world why me. I know it isn’t the end of the world but that is how I feel.

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DannyV

Blood test I started having yeast infection or what I thought was a yeast infection and my doctor suggested we do blood work for herpes. Me thinking nothing of it came out I was positive. My husband is waiting for his results. Him or I have never had any symptoms that we know of or out breaks. The only time I can think of is when he had jock itch but that was once and it was cure with anti fungal cream.

Edited by DannyV

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Nightmare7575

You can't pass it on to your kids,so start hugging and kissing them ,HSV2 cannot be passed on that way. He may have had it before you got together and is asymptomatic and never knew or he did get it from another person  in which case like any affair you might want to look into couples counseling and work on those issues ,because a lot of what you are saying is what many people that have been through affairs say. If you need a reason to be here look at your children.I have never had an outbreak either and did not think I had it.

Edited by Nightmare7575

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Lovehut123

Boy did I feel you when you said you wanted to keep driving into upcoming traffic. Its very hard at first when you first find out but it does get easier. You accept it more day by day. You are not dirty or worthless because you have this. This is a very common virus. Don't beat yourself up. You still are the same person. Take care of yourself. Learn your triggers. Take your meds. Listen to your body. A lot of people become better after having this virus they live healthier lives. Find a benefit from it. Stay strong. 

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DannyV

Thank you he is still saying he has not step out are marriage but this is hard to believe. I just want to feel normal and go on with my life. This feels like a heavy shackle that tired around to my feet and I just can’t get away from.

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Scooby2112

I can't speak to his cheating. This virus is definitely not as standard as some.  Many never get symptoms.  Even people not taking drugs or using condoms for an entire year of sex only have about 10% transmission.  So unfortunately it's possible to have it, not know and still not pass it for many years.  

I do think it has to be tough because you are wanting to rely on your husband and right now you are having trouble trusting him.  

I think if you can decide that you still believe in your husband you can get support from him and begin rebuilding that trust and understanding.  I think having someone to rely on and get support from that thinks you are beautiful and amazing like you are.  

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WilsoInAus
8 hours ago, DannyV said:

Blood test I started having yeast infection or what I thought was a yeast infection and my doctor suggested we do blood work for herpes. Me thinking nothing of it came out I was positive. My husband is waiting for his results. Him or I have never had any symptoms that we know of or out breaks. The only time I can think of is when he had jock itch but that was once and it was cure with anti fungal cream.

Now this is very important, do you have a full printout of the test results, access to them online etc. 

Ascertain whether you had IgM or IgG testing and what were the exact results.

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Mackie82
10 hours ago, WilsoInAus said:

Now this is very important, do you have a full printout of the test results, access to them online etc. 

Ascertain whether you had IgM or IgG testing and what were the exact results.

Wilson she has been diagnosed Officially through doctor/lab what you are going to prove that she doesn’t have herpes or her testing was done wrongly by igm and not igg. The girl is suffering emotionally and worried about her children’s and marriage relationship. Stop asking and talking about test and igg exact result. Are you going to re her 6.35 is low so it’s most likely false positive. ?? ?

 

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DannyV
4 hours ago, Mackie82 said:

Wilson she has been diagnosed Officially through doctor/lab what you are going to prove that she doesn’t have herpes or her testing was done wrongly by igm and not igg. The girl is suffering emotionally and worried about her children’s and marriage relationship. Stop asking and talking about test and igg exact result. Are you going to re her 6.35 is low so it’s most likely false positive. ?? ?

 

Yes she want me to come back in a few weeks. When your young they tell you about herpes but never really tell you about it. If you understand what I mean. I’m 32 years old and never known anyone with it like it never existed but like a scary tale people tell you to keep from having sex. Now I know it is true and it can happen to anyone kind of scary.

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WilsoInAus
7 hours ago, Mackie82 said:

Wilson she has been diagnosed Officially through doctor/lab what you are going to prove that she doesn’t have herpes or her testing was done wrongly by igm and not igg. The girl is suffering emotionally and worried about her children’s and marriage relationship. Stop asking and talking about test and igg exact result. Are you going to re her 6.35 is low so it’s most likely false positive. ?? ?

 

Do you have no compassion or empathy man. Of course it is critical to determine whether a diagnosis has taken place. How many thousands are out there believing they have herpes owing to IgM or low positives. It is unacceptable and you need to be sensitive to this man. Good lord!

You will note that my post was before we learny of the result. I find it useful to read posts in order, I suggest you do the same.

The result in my view confirms that a HSV-2 infection exists.

But where? Does the lady work in the medical field? Might she have acquired her virus at birth? 

Do you have the decency and respect to find out? I believe you do despite what everyone else says! 

We’re staying tuned, take the lead man and show us what you are, here’s your chance.

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Hope18
On 4/15/2018 at 3:26 PM, DannyV said:

I have been married for 13 years with two amazing boys. I was recently diagnosed with hsv 2. I have no idea how this could have happen my husband says he has been faithful and would never hurt me or he never slept with anyone that would make him question if they have this.   He took my virginity so it had to come from him. I gave birth to two boys and nothing ever came up no sore or anything. So he had to step out of are marriage. I love my kids and they need me but I just feel like I want to dig a hole and die. I feel betrayed and lied to. All I do is take a shower a scrub my body, constantly wash my hand. I don’t want my kids to touch my I don’t want to pass this on to my little boys. I’m just so hurt and angry. Yesterday night I just wanted to run my car onto incoming traffic. This depression is really taking a toll on my life and I am scared what I might do. Before finding  out I was alway bubbly cheerful and happy now I just want to lay in bed and scream at the world why me. I know it isn’t the end of the world but that is how I feel.

I was the same way to I just got diagnosed recently from blood test but I keep having symptoms of yeast and went to 9 doctores and know of them can find anything just redness. I don't understand I want to be my happy self too and I got into a deep depression I'm not the same person I use to be. I hope this gets easier.

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DannyV
8 minutes ago, Hope18 said:

I was the same way to I just got diagnosed recently from blood test but I keep having symptoms of yeast and went to 9 doctores and know of them can find anything just redness. I don't understand I want to be my happy self too and I got into a deep depression I'm not the same person I use to be. I hope this gets easier.

I told a friend today thinking I would get words of wisdom from a good really intelligent friend but He has no knowledge of this virus. He just said take the meds and you will be cured, I kept telling him this virus is for life but he wasn’t trying to hear what I was saying. Where I’m coming off with this is people really have no knowledge of this virus and aren’t educated about it and it’s like I cant get no right answers to how will this get better will it even be better. Will I be depressed will I get a divorce and be alone forever. All these thoughts are not making my situation any better. I just want to fast forward  a few years and see where I will be. I’m just wondering why isn’t there any vaccines for this virus they have every disease under the sun vaccine but not this. I hope it does get better for you hun.

Edited by DannyV

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IcantThinkofaName
2 hours ago, DannyV said:

Will I be depressed will I get a divorce and be alone forever.

You don't need to get a divorce unless you don't love your husband. He 100% could have had it before you were together and not known.   He may not have cheated on you. Did you both get tested for it before you got married and the results were negative? If you  and he were never tested then its really hard to know who got what when .

If you love him and he loves you ( and sincerely has not cheated), nothing needs to change. I just hope he is supportive of you and this awful disease. He needs to give you  a lot of support and love right now.

Really devastating. I totally can feel your pain.

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DannyV

I was a Virgin when we got to together. No oral no touching nothing sexual with anyone. I never had a Pap smear or std test until I got pregnant with my first son. That was on are second time we had sex. Just 13 years later right now I feel betrayed and dirty even though I read as much as I can on this virus and it is possible he could of had it and not no. It still doesn’t make it any easier for me and how I’m feeling right now towards him. I just hope in time things will get better. Yes he has been tested and we are still waiting for results. 

Edited by DannyV

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Mackie82
11 hours ago, WilsoInAus said:

Do you have no compassion or empathy man. Of course it is critical to determine whether a diagnosis has taken place. How many thousands are out there believing they have herpes owing to IgM or low positives. It is unacceptable and you need to be sensitive to this man. Good lord!

You will note that my post was before we learny of the result. I find it useful to read posts in order, I suggest you do the same.

The result in my view confirms that a HSV-2 infection exists.

But where? Does the lady work in the medical field? Might she have acquired her virus at birth? 

Do you have the decency and respect to find out? I believe you do despite what everyone else says! 

We’re staying tuned, take the lead man and show us what you are, here’s your chance.

You are mental retard, I am not head of investigation department to find out anything, what I can say to her just stay strong and you will go over it. Thanks 

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Hope18
12 hours ago, DannyV said:

I told a friend today thinking I would get words of wisdom from a good really intelligent friend but He has no knowledge of this virus. He just said take the meds and you will be cured, I kept telling him this virus is for life but he wasn’t trying to hear what I was saying. Where I’m coming off with this is people really have no knowledge of this virus and aren’t educated about it and it’s like I cant get no right answers to how will this get better will it even be better. Will I be depressed will I get a divorce and be alone forever. All these thoughts are not making my situation any better. I just want to fast forward  a few years and see where I will be. I’m just wondering why isn’t there any vaccines for this virus they have every disease under the sun vaccine but not this. I hope it does get better for you hun.

Thank you i know they do have vaccines of everything I'm hoping one day they will come out with one. I just wanted to die I was never out there like that and someone took advantage and now I have to deal with this. I'm just so hurt I don't know what my future hold and that is what scars me. I always looked to the future and was excited. Now I don't know.

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DannyV
1 hour ago, Hope18 said:

Thank you i know they do have vaccines of everything I'm hoping one day they will come out with one. I just wanted to die I was never out there like that and someone took advantage and now I have to deal with this. I'm just so hurt I don't know what my future hold and that is what scars me. I always looked to the future and was excited. Now I don't know.

Honestly all we can is take it day by, we’ll that is what I’m trying to do. When I start thinking I really let this crap take a huge toll on my life. I’m still going to have this virus it isn’t going no where and that is the sucky part stuck with something I never asked for. It show you no matter who you are or how you lived you can still catch something. I was raised to not have sex before marriage and I did I waited now look at me. Life can be so F’n cruel. You know what they said god wont give you anything you can’t handle like WHAT !!! Makes me so mad but we will get through it one way or another 

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Mackie82
7 hours ago, DannyV said:

Honestly all we can is take it day by, we’ll that is what I’m trying to do. When I start thinking I really let this crap take a huge toll on my life. I’m still going to have this virus it isn’t going no where and that is the sucky part stuck with something I never asked for. It show you no matter who you are or how you lived you can still catch something. I was raised to not have sex before marriage and I did I waited now look at me. Life can be so F’n cruel. You know what they said god wont give you anything you can’t handle like WHAT !!! Makes me so mad but we will get through it one way or another 

Who told you that God won’t give you something which you can’t handle, look at the kids with terminal cancer how the hell they could handle it for example. The herpes is the same for someone like me, I have contracted it from the first and the only partner in my entire life. Thanks 

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Scooby2112

That was to be expected.  Which means he has had it for at least about  3 months but other than that there is no real way of knowing when he contracted it.  

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Nightmare7575

Sorry to hear that,but once again that does not mean he had an affair and you two are the same people you were before all this started .This is the part where you two can hopefully come together and be there for each other when having this hits you.

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cariocabrasil

I guess your husband could have it before your marriage. Don't feel suspicious to your husband. Now you know you both have this virus, perhaps you can cope it. At least you both don't have OB like many others in the world.

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