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Star girl

Hsv1g advice & support please

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Star girl

New to site but not to herpes.  Was diagnosed 20 yrs. ago via outbreak and swab. When I had my outbreak I was newly married (got from boyfriend prior to my husband, but didn't know it) luckily it wasn't an issue for my husband. He tested negative. Went on to have a healthy sex life, no meds, rarely breakouts.

Now 20 yrs later... newly single...and feeling the impact of having herpes and dating. Recently had my doctor test me to find out if it is hsv1 or 2. Negative for 2. Positive for 1. And since I was swabbed 20 yrs ago know its hsv1g.  

I've had about 4 outbreaks in 20 yrs. went on meds a yr ago to decrease transmission if/when I'm sexually active again.  Know that I should disclose before sex, but scared. It's hard enough to date and find someone u connect with, throw in this virus and chance of a meaningful relationship seems close to zero. Especially when just getting to know someone...why would anyone take the chance with someone with herpes? Sorry to be negative, but just how I'm feeling right now. 

Any advice would be appreciated. Feeling not desireable...

 

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Taintedgirl

You’ll find someone it just takes time. Only advice is don’t lie or withhold the information from anyone you have to give people a choice it’s their health at risk.

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Wtfisthisplease

Disclose that you carry hsv-1 the cold sore virus, why specify location. Hsv1 is hsv1 and its less infectious on the genitals than orally. 

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LilySmith

I was just diagnosed with hsv1g from a pcr. Disclosure I think is the worst part. Like you said outbreaks are rare with hsv1g. It’s no different then having it on your mouth...assuming you go down on people I don’t know why the location of the virus matters. People who hsv1 on their mouths should have to disclose by those standards...America is a ridiculous place sometimes...

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Wtfisthisplease
Posted (edited)
21 hours ago, LilySmith said:

I was just diagnosed with hsv1g from a pcr. Disclosure I think is the worst part. Like you said outbreaks are rare with hsv1g. It’s no different then having it on your mouth...assuming you go down on people I don’t know why the location of the virus matters. People who hsv1 on their mouths should have to disclose by those standards...America is a ridiculous place sometimes...

It doesn't just say you have hsv1 the coldsore virus. Do you take antivirals?

Edited by Wtfisthisplease

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ThatGurl

I am in the same boat. I disclose before I have sex and after I feel like I would want to have some sort of relationship with them. About half the time, it works out. But when it doesn't, it still hurts. I've only had it for three years and get maybe one or two a year.

You kinda have to just roll with it. It's not fair for you to make that decision for someone else. But you can try to educate them and have them understand how it works and the exact risks they would be taking.

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