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My life seems pretty ruined......


Sea

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Hey world...

so... i recently had my first 'cold sore' outbreak... at first I didnt know what it was, i just thought it was some kind of a minor rash or just some temporary symptom of eating unhealthy for a while. But someone told me that it was herpes and that it was a STD. I was shocked, went home and did A LOT of research about it... and it is herpes.

The thing that bothers me the most,,, is that the internet 'says' that more than 2 thirds of the world has herpes... but where I come from, (a country in asia) this virus IS NOT COMMON. I searched the entirety of the internet in my country, there are hardly any cases/ posts/ forums etc. about it, only some 'theoretical' medical informations about it for 'studies'. Even when the internet world in my country is enormous. Now that I think about it, I have never seen ANYONE in my 25 year life in my country with herpes. (I am now living in EU, where I probably got the infection.) So I asked a couple of people that I know in my country about herpes. NONE of them even heard about it...

A handful of posts that I did find, all had comments saying how disgusted they were, how sexually-opened the world has become, how they are now insecure... and some copy pasted 'text book definition' of herpes.

I know now through searching, that herpes is not fatal, and that its common...

But I have to go back to my country soon... and will have to live there... 

If herpes is that highly infectious... what do I do...??? In a place where herpes would be taken judgementally and opinionated. I feel devastated right now. :(

 

I have a couple questions:

Will I never be able to kiss without passing it on? Or differently asked, when CAN I kiss without being absolute certain it wont be passed on.

Can you pass on oral herpes by just having normal sex? 

I want to know if there are any cases out there, where your partner or yourself is herpes-free and the other is infected, but have been together for quite some time, and hasnt got the other infected? 

 

I would very much appreciate for some replies. 

Thanks

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    • FirstTimeUser
      @WilsoInAuswould appreciate your thoughts as have seen you comment quite a bit before!
    • Marlena
      Good morning. My name is Marlena and I come from Poland. Sorry, my English is average. For two years I have been in a relationship with a man, for a year and a half I have been struggling with intimate problems. On average, my intimate condition is getting worse every month. Then I feel itching, redness, swelling around the entrance to the vagina, small blisters (not always). Most often it is only red and swollen, itches and then disappears. This state lasts 3-4 days. I come from a small town, doctors don't know what it is. They say it's 'skin irritation'. They prescribe moisturizing creams with lactic acid, probiotics. It doesn't help. I did a blood test for HSV on my own, which is very expensive in Poland, but it does not separate HSV1 from HSV2. The doctor, when he shows these results, says that it's not herpes, but irritation. I would like to add that in the past I suffered from herpes on the lips, then it was a 'scab'. There has never been a scab in an intimate area. Sometimes there are blisters that last 1-2 days, but not always. So what do high blood test results mean? I would like to add that in Poland people do not talk about the HSV virus. It's just that sometimes someone has it on their lips and that's it. Results translation: IgM HSV 1/2: questionable IgG HSV 1/2: result above the measuring range https://files.fm/f/4cpu7uee4  
    • FirstTimeUser
      This is my first time posting here. Im generally pretty anxious when it comes to anything to do with health conditions etc. For context I have had jock itch and fungal infections previously on my buttcrack. I have had 0 new sexual partners and I am not concerned about my girlfriend cheating at all. 4 days ago my balls began itching and red pretty much all over, as you can see some general flakeyness and what looks to be a lesion I noticed on Monday when I checked them out. My partner and I do get cold sores from time to time so the anxious part of me is concerned this could be herpes, but at the same time could be some sort of fungal infection. My doctor cant see me until tomorrow so I just have to worry until then. There is no pain and nothing on the penis or anywhere else, just general itchiness. Any ideas if this is herpes or not?  
    • Jeremy Spokein
      Yes, but every married person who I found out about that has this waited 6-8 months into the relationship to disclose it. But maybe you're right. If I had told her 6-7 months in, she'd still have Googled it and flipped out, and maybe it would have been harder then. I don't know. I don't see myself going through this level of pain and rejection so easily next time. I really don't. I'm taking the meds. I use protection. It's been almost a decade since I've had it so I'm not worried about shedding or passing it on so easily. British studies confirm that the first 2 years are the most contagious and we're passed that. I'm just over this. I've never been in so much emotional pain in my life.
    • Possiblehypercon11
      @WilsoInAus would really appreciate your input please. Kinda freaking out lol. 
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