New relationship with HSV1 positive woman

[swamper8]

 

I'm considering entering into a relationship with a woman who has HSV1 - genital.  She got this from an ex who had HSV1 - oral and performed oral sex on her. (he was tested, but not for HSV)  

 

Some quick questions:

1.)     Her doctor has told her, and she has told me, that she CANNOT have HSV1 - oral because she already has HSV1 - genital.  I am unable to find conclusive info on whether it's possible to have HSV1 in both places. 
 

2.)    When a person is shedding, does this only happen in the related general area? (oral/genital) or can the virus come to the surface anywhere?

 

3.)    I’ve tested neg for both my whole life and I’m not in a rush to contract it.  We’ve decided sex (oral/intercourse) is off the table (for her) for a while but I would still like her to be satisfied.   She’s very practical and offered up:

A.      Use of a latex glove (vinyl or equivalent actually, she has a latex allergy) and I can use my hand for stimulation.

B.      Use of a toy.

I’m fine with both, remaining questions are:

1.)    I assume any kind of contact with vaginal fluid will put me at risk or is it only a risk during the small windows where she is shedding?  Will a glove suffice or only provide an equivalent level of protection as a condom/intercourse. (my understanding pretty good but not perfect)

2.)    If it’s possible to contract it through accidental skin to skin with my hand, where would I likely get it? (Oral or genital)  Or is that not possible?

An interesting twist is that while she tested positive for 4+ years, the last two years she has tested negative.  She takes a daily suppressive pill and has only had two outbreaks, both during stressful periods. (many years ago)

It seems to be quite dormant. I have read that it would also help me to take the daily pill as well, but I haven’t done a lot of research yet.

  Sorry for the length!

 

 

 

[Scooby2112]

11 hours ago, swamper8 said:

 

I'm considering entering into a relationship with a woman who has HSV1 - genital.  She got this from an ex who had HSV1 - oral and performed oral sex on her. (he was tested, but not for HSV)  

 

Some quick questions:

1.)     Her doctor has told her, and she has told me, that she CANNOT have HSV1 - oral because she already has HSV1 - genital.  I am unable to find conclusive info on whether it's possible to have HSV1 in both places. 
 

 

 

 

Mostly true   You can contract it in both locations but it’s really only a possibility in the first four months of a new infection   By that time she has enough antibodies to prevent new infection in a different location   

 

 

11 hours ago, swamper8 said:

2.)    When a person is shedding, does this only happen in the related general area? (oral/genital) or can the virus come to the surface anywhere?

If she only has genital HSV1 she would only shed in the genital area.    Really shedding is most likely only coming from mucous membranes in the vaginal and anal mucosa.  Thicker skin areas would be very unlikely to shed.  

Also regarding shedding a study showed HSV1 genitally only shedded on average 1-3% of the days a swab was taken.  Which accounts to 3-15 days in a year.  This is highest in the year after infection and slowly drops off.  Some of these shedding events are less than 6 hours long or of a small amount of virus that is to little to transmit virus   So all in all it is very tough outside an outbreak to catch HSV1 genitals to genitals   Almost all are from oral sex    

Most ghsv1 positive individuals have the initial outbreak and maybe one or two more over the course of the next 2-3 years and then likely never have them again.  

40% only get the first outbreak   

Men are also less likely to contract it from a woman   We have very small amount of mucous membranes on our genitals   

 

11 hours ago, swamper8 said:

 

3.)    I’ve tested neg for both my whole life and I’m not in a rush to contract it.  We’ve decided sex (oral/intercourse) is off the table (for her) for a while but I would still like her to be satisfied.   She’s very practical and offered up:

A.      Use of a latex glove (vinyl or equivalent actually, she has a latex allergy) and I can use my hand for stimulation.

This would be practically no risk.  As stated above actual intercourse is even low risk.  

11 hours ago, swamper8 said:

B.      Use of a toy.

I’m fine with both, remaining questions are:

1.)    I assume any kind of contact with vaginal fluid will put me at risk or is it only a risk during the small windows where she is shedding? 

Actually herpes is caught via skin to skin contact.  It is not likely to catch the virus from bodily fluids.  And as stated above the only risk would be those 3-15 days (on avg) that she is shedding

also the skin on the hand is thick and unlikely for the virus to enter (unless there is a cut, and even then outside of an actual outbreak likely rare). 

11 hours ago, swamper8 said:

 

Will a glove suffice or only provide an equivalent level of protection as a condom/intercourse. (my understanding pretty good but not perfect)

2.)    If it’s possible to contract it through accidental skin to skin with my hand, where would I likely get it? (Oral or genital)  Or is that not possible?

You catch it at the point the virus enters the body.  SO in this case your hand would be the location (but unlikely due to the thick skin without an outbreak). This is called hermetic whitlow.  .  It is unlikely to move from the original nerve dermatome it infects.  Unless you run the sore on your mouth or penis during those first four or so months.  

11 hours ago, swamper8 said:

 

An interesting twist is that while she tested positive for 4+ years, the last two years she has tested negative.  She takes a daily suppressive pill and has only had two outbreaks, both during stressful periods. (many years ago)

As I said this recurrence rate is quite common for genital HSV1.  She may go years or her whole life without another one.  

Regarding testing, blood testing is good but not nearly as good as many other diseases.  In fact it’s known that up to 30% of people have HSV1 but test negative (compared to the western blot).  So it’s even possible you are positive and just test negative like up to 30 out of 100 positive people.  Only a western blot would be able to confirm and those are expensive   

How was she diagnosed by the way?   

11 hours ago, swamper8 said:

It seems to be quite dormant. I have read that it would also help me to take the daily pill as well, but I haven’t done a lot of research yet.

  Sorry for the length!

I don’t believe any study has shown that the sero-negative partner gets any benefits from suppressive therapy.  In fact most HSV1 genital positive people don’t get much benefit except possibly lowering the already extremely low shedding rates, but no study has been conducted that shows the effect of antivirals on gHSV1.  It probably does help a little but 3-15 days a year is already pretty low.  

 

All this is based on averages and there is no way to know her actual shedding rate.  Hopefully though you have gotten that ghsv1 doesn't cause much impact to a person's life.  She can even give birth naturally just ensuring that the Dr is aware to ensure that a recurrence doesn't happen during birth (but even then it is low risk due to her having antibodies passed to the child that is thought to protect them).  The real risk is a first time outbreak in the final trimester where the mother doesn't have antibodies built up yet to help protect the baby.  

Hope this helps.  Message me if you have additional questions.  

[swamper8]

Thank you very much for your detailed response!

 

So in summary of your comments:

Highest risk for me is if I perform oral sex on her

Intercourse is low risk aside from times she’s shedding. Impossible to know when but the days/time are also extremely low.  Males contracting it during intercourse is also low so safe sex (condom) is relatively risk free but definitely not 100%.

There would need to be genital skin-to-skin contact while she’s shedding for transmission to occur.

Virtually no risk is hand + glove. (she calls it my hand condom)

Skip the pill, it won’t help me.

 

She was diagnosed via blood test.  She was in a monogamous relationship, had a genital outbreak.  Her summary was her BF was STD tested but his doctor didn’t include HSV.

He performed oral on her, she had a genital outbreak and then tested positive on a blood test. He got retested (or rather tested) and it came back positive.  When questioned, his doctor said HSV is so common now he doesn’t bother testing for it…

At the time they were not having intercourse yet, so he must have had O-HSV1 and transmitted it via oral sex. 

 

No way to know for sure if she also has O-HSV1 as her tests are coming back negative. She’s never had an oral outbreak though. She has followed a pattern similar to how you describe.  She has had it for six years.

Had two outbreaks early, none since. (both during stressful times) She takes the suppressive pill daily, I think it just makes her feel better about it, even though, as you say, not

Much conclusive evidence that it helps G-HSV people. As I said, technically she has tested negative for the last two years. It seems to be extremely dormant in her system.

 

To me it seems safe for her to perform hand/oral stimulation on me without any risk, unless she has O-HSV1 (not detected on bloodwork, impossible to know at this point) or O-HSV2 which I’ve read is extremely rare.

 

[Scooby2112]

2 hours ago, swamper8 said:

Thank you very much for your detailed response!

 

So in summary of your comments:

Highest risk for me is if I perform oral sex on her

You performing oral on her would be similar risk as unprotected intercourse (pretty low)  Because the shedding is the same so the risk to exposure would be approximately the same.  

2 hours ago, swamper8 said:

Intercourse is low risk aside from times she’s shedding. Impossible to know when but the days/time are also extremely low.  Males contracting it during intercourse is also low so safe sex (condom) is relatively risk free but definitely not 100%.

Males contracting during sex is lower than females.  And since this is hsv1 genitally transmission from men to women is also low, but probably still slightly lower to a man.  Especially a circumcised man.  

Condom sex would be almost no risk without an outbreak but as you said never say never.  

2 hours ago, swamper8 said:

There would need to be genital skin-to-skin contact while she’s shedding for transmission to occur.

Virtually no risk is hand + glove. (she calls it my hand condom)

Yep and probably no need for the hand condom either but whatever makes everyone comfortable.  

2 hours ago, swamper8 said:

Skip the pill, it won’t help me.

Studies didn't find a correlation that it helped.  

2 hours ago, swamper8 said:

She was diagnosed via blood test.  She was in a monogamous relationship, had a genital outbreak.  Her summary was her BF was STD tested but his doctor didn’t include HSV.

He performed oral on her, she had a genital outbreak and then tested positive on a blood test. He got retested (or rather tested) and it came back positive.  When questioned, his doctor said HSV is so common now he doesn’t bother testing for it…

Most Drs don't test for hsv (especially hsv1) because 60% of the population has it but 30% won't show it on a blood test anyway.  And the bulk will have it orally.  But without symptoms there is not much they can do anyway.  And oral HSV1 is not an STD.  

2 hours ago, swamper8 said:

At the time they were not having intercourse yet, so he must have had O-HSV1 and transmitted it via oral sex. 

 

No way to know for sure if she also has O-HSV1 as her tests are coming back negative. She’s never had an oral outbreak though. She has followed a pattern similar to how you describe.  She has had it for six years.

Blood test won't tell you location.  She has HSV1.  That appears to be confirmed.  Location can only be confirmed via a swab of an active lesion.  

2 hours ago, swamper8 said:

Had two outbreaks early, none since. (both during stressful times) She takes the suppressive pill daily, I think it just makes her feel better about it, even though, as you say, not

Much conclusive evidence that it helps G-HSV people. As I said, technically she has tested negative for the last two years. It seems to be extremely dormant in her system.

 

To me it seems safe for her to perform hand/oral stimulation on me without any risk, unless she has O-HSV1 (not detected on bloodwork, impossible to know at this point) or O-HSV2 which I’ve read is extremely rare.

 

Not worth worrying about oral HSV2.  And her tests were negative.  Oral HSV1 is also unlikely if she has confirmed it genitally.