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first disclosure to someone who made me feel less because of my diagnosis


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so i have known i have had hsv2 for about a year now. i have disclosed to partners before and honestly i havent had any negative reactions (well except for one, but he was uneducated as a person). well i went on a date the other day with someone who i really felt a connection with and he felt the same connection.....until i told him about my diagnosis. at first he looked shocked. said he has never had anyone tell him that before or been with anyone that has had it (that he knows of). he is an older guy, with plenty of sexual partners, and i tried telling him he has probably been exposed to it. well after hanging out for a few more hours just watching a movie, he went home. he said he wanted to do more research on the topic because he did really like me and wanted to do his "due diligence", which is perfectly understandable. but its been a few days now, and yes we have texted every now and then, but we have both been working. we had plans to meet up over the weekend to discuss some questions that he still had, but it feels like he's making excuses to not meet up. first it was he may not wake up in time for lunch, then it was he may work all day, then he may working the morning shift and be off saturday night (when he knows i have plans with my friends), then it was that his sewage line is clogged where he lives and he may go out of town for the weekend since he cant shower. i dont know, maybe i am over thinking it, but i have come to the decision to tell him it is better if we just remain friends because i dont like feeling like i am such a difficult decision to make to be with. maybe im crazy but i just know this feeling im having and have had since i have told him, is a feeling i dont like to feel. i know i may have a little extra baggage (which i dont even consider that bad of a baggage since i manage it with medication and i know my body and when, if ever ill get an OB), but doesnt everyone?  and at least i am one of those people that is aware of my status so i can prevent it from being spread to other people. i have friends i can talk to about this, but not many of them can completely understand how i feel. so figured i would come to this blog and just let it out because i am honestly feeling more discouraged than i have before about dating and meeting the right person. you think you have come to terms with your diagnosis but then something like this happens and you try to not let it make you feel bad, but it is hard. 

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Make plans for you that can convert the way you are feeling. Education and time will tell. Resist the urge to just blow him off unless you really don't care for his excuses. Get practice in if you want it. I have posted the disclosure flyer recently. Email it to him?? 

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It’ll get better babe. Just remember you did the responsible thing and told him the truth you’re not wrong here he’s just one of those people who chooses to overlook your good qualities because of this but don’t worry there’s at least a billion more where he came from. Don’t force people to want you just count it as a blessing in disguise. I’ve never had a no that didn’t turn into a better yes. Stay strong and remain fierce. 

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    • FirstTimeUser
      @WilsoInAuswould appreciate your thoughts as have seen you comment quite a bit before!
    • Marlena
      Good morning. My name is Marlena and I come from Poland. Sorry, my English is average. For two years I have been in a relationship with a man, for a year and a half I have been struggling with intimate problems. On average, my intimate condition is getting worse every month. Then I feel itching, redness, swelling around the entrance to the vagina, small blisters (not always). Most often it is only red and swollen, itches and then disappears. This state lasts 3-4 days. I come from a small town, doctors don't know what it is. They say it's 'skin irritation'. They prescribe moisturizing creams with lactic acid, probiotics. It doesn't help. I did a blood test for HSV on my own, which is very expensive in Poland, but it does not separate HSV1 from HSV2. The doctor, when he shows these results, says that it's not herpes, but irritation. I would like to add that in the past I suffered from herpes on the lips, then it was a 'scab'. There has never been a scab in an intimate area. Sometimes there are blisters that last 1-2 days, but not always. So what do high blood test results mean? I would like to add that in Poland people do not talk about the HSV virus. It's just that sometimes someone has it on their lips and that's it. Results translation: IgM HSV 1/2: questionable IgG HSV 1/2: result above the measuring range https://files.fm/f/4cpu7uee4  
    • FirstTimeUser
      This is my first time posting here. Im generally pretty anxious when it comes to anything to do with health conditions etc. For context I have had jock itch and fungal infections previously on my buttcrack. I have had 0 new sexual partners and I am not concerned about my girlfriend cheating at all. 4 days ago my balls began itching and red pretty much all over, as you can see some general flakeyness and what looks to be a lesion I noticed on Monday when I checked them out. My partner and I do get cold sores from time to time so the anxious part of me is concerned this could be herpes, but at the same time could be some sort of fungal infection. My doctor cant see me until tomorrow so I just have to worry until then. There is no pain and nothing on the penis or anywhere else, just general itchiness. Any ideas if this is herpes or not?  
    • Jeremy Spokein
      Yes, but every married person who I found out about that has this waited 6-8 months into the relationship to disclose it. But maybe you're right. If I had told her 6-7 months in, she'd still have Googled it and flipped out, and maybe it would have been harder then. I don't know. I don't see myself going through this level of pain and rejection so easily next time. I really don't. I'm taking the meds. I use protection. It's been almost a decade since I've had it so I'm not worried about shedding or passing it on so easily. British studies confirm that the first 2 years are the most contagious and we're passed that. I'm just over this. I've never been in so much emotional pain in my life.
    • Possiblehypercon11
      @WilsoInAus would really appreciate your input please. Kinda freaking out lol. 
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