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first disclosure to someone who made me feel less because of my diagnosis

kona1234

By kona1234,
in Disclosure (telling)

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kona1234 Newbie

kona1234

Posted
Posted

so i have known i have had hsv2 for about a year now. i have disclosed to partners before and honestly i havent had any negative reactions (well except for one, but he was uneducated as a person). well i went on a date the other day with someone who i really felt a connection with and he felt the same connection.....until i told him about my diagnosis. at first he looked shocked. said he has never had anyone tell him that before or been with anyone that has had it (that he knows of). he is an older guy, with plenty of sexual partners, and i tried telling him he has probably been exposed to it. well after hanging out for a few more hours just watching a movie, he went home. he said he wanted to do more research on the topic because he did really like me and wanted to do his "due diligence", which is perfectly understandable. but its been a few days now, and yes we have texted every now and then, but we have both been working. we had plans to meet up over the weekend to discuss some questions that he still had, but it feels like he's making excuses to not meet up. first it was he may not wake up in time for lunch, then it was he may work all day, then he may working the morning shift and be off saturday night (when he knows i have plans with my friends), then it was that his sewage line is clogged where he lives and he may go out of town for the weekend since he cant shower. i dont know, maybe i am over thinking it, but i have come to the decision to tell him it is better if we just remain friends because i dont like feeling like i am such a difficult decision to make to be with. maybe im crazy but i just know this feeling im having and have had since i have told him, is a feeling i dont like to feel. i know i may have a little extra baggage (which i dont even consider that bad of a baggage since i manage it with medication and i know my body and when, if ever ill get an OB), but doesnt everyone?  and at least i am one of those people that is aware of my status so i can prevent it from being spread to other people. i have friends i can talk to about this, but not many of them can completely understand how i feel. so figured i would come to this blog and just let it out because i am honestly feeling more discouraged than i have before about dating and meeting the right person. you think you have come to terms with your diagnosis but then something like this happens and you try to not let it make you feel bad, but it is hard. 

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Quest Platinum Support Member

Quest

Posted
Posted

Make plans for you that can convert the way you are feeling. Education and time will tell. Resist the urge to just blow him off unless you really don't care for his excuses. Get practice in if you want it. I have posted the disclosure flyer recently. Email it to him?? 

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Taintedgirl Established Member

Taintedgirl

Posted
Posted

It’ll get better babe. Just remember you did the responsible thing and told him the truth you’re not wrong here he’s just one of those people who chooses to overlook your good qualities because of this but don’t worry there’s at least a billion more where he came from. Don’t force people to want you just count it as a blessing in disguise. I’ve never had a no that didn’t turn into a better yes. Stay strong and remain fierce. 

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