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So The Weirdest Thing Just Happened...


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So I met this guy on Mother’s Day. He came to our house to install our WiFi lol. I came out of my room and noticed how adorable he was. With that being said, even though I am not completely or %100 open about my “situation” right now, I decided to go ahead and speak to him, you know...try and make the first move. Now, I know...I know I promised myself that I would refrain from dating anyone and become celibate until I figured things out for myself buuuuttttt...I just wanted to have someone I could talk to besides my friends...and also he was cute lol. Surprisingly, he stayed at my house for almost 2 hours talking to me after he finished installing our WiFi. We hit it off. We had a lot of things in common. He eventually got my number and told me that he was really into me. Of course I was super excited! After almost two long months of dealing with my newfound condition and feeling like I had to isolate myself from any potential relationships or flirtationships lol, I had found a new friend (a new cute friend).


Days then weeks passed and it seemed like the more I got to know him, the more anxious I felt about telling him about my HSV2. It is definitely imperative to give people a choice to be with you after knowing the circumstances. DISCLOSURE IS YOUR FRIEND! However, I had never disclosed to anyone but my bathroom mirror before. Yes, I am a disclosure virgin! Naturally, I was confused on how to do this. Do I suck it up and blurt it out? Do I ease into it? Maybe I should wait even longer? These were my initial daunting thoughts, but my fear was ultimately REJECTION. I felt like my heart would fall out of my body. My fear was that not only would he reject me but would he do it and sound disappointed, dismissive, or just plain pissed off? The judgement, the agony.


Scared and indecisive, I began to sit and think about it. The more I thought about it I noticed that I was going over all of these scenarios in my head but none of them were true yet. I realized that I was preparing myself for a fatalistic outcome that I had conjured up in my own mind. I had not any faith in this guy. I let my own self consciousness and pessimistic thoughts tear down my hope. I had lost some confidence in myself. I lost sight of how amazing I was. It became very clear that if he could not see past the HSV2 and open his eyes to see how amazingly intelligent, beautiful, and kind-hearted I really am then hun, he was never the person for me.


So I called him…


He talked and I listened for about an hour. Then I began to hint at a secret that I had. I was trying to be as vague as possible about it but he made a suggestion. “If I tell you a secret...will you tell me one?” I nervously agreed.


He went first. He went on to tell me about his ex-girlfriend and how their relationship was (all things I have heard before). All the while I’m thinking to myself, “wait, I know I have a huge secret buuuutttt what is he about to tell me?” Something I have never thought of before. He goes, “ Well about my ex...she never told me...she gave me Herpes…” This was the unpredictable variable. This was a major curveball.


I could not help but laugh for what seemed like 10 minutes, of course to him it seemed like I was laughing at him. I finally told him, “I am laughing because, well, I have it too…”

What an immense sigh of relief of relief for the both of us lol. We talked for hours about everything HSV related, the stigma, our own stories, our hardships, and our hopes for the future. I could not believe the struggle I had with myself to find the words to tell this guy something that he had all the confidence in the world to tell me. I admire his courage and strength. I will always admire anyone’s courage and strength to disclose because it is tremendously hard and does not always have a happy ending. Every single disclosure is an accomplishment for yourself good or bad, because you had the guts and moral compass to do so.


Conclusively, whoever I am with, whoever I want to tell, I can not be afraid to disclose. So you don't know what they will say or do. That is ok. All you can do is control what you say and do. You also need to have FAITH people!!!! Not only in yourselves but others as well. You should try to give people the benefit of the doubt because they just might surprise you! Maybe taking action will suck sometimes and sometimes you will fail. Maybe you will have to work at it, but this experience has taught me that any action is better than no action at all. And most times the best actions gets you the guy. ;)

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That is awesome!!! I too built up all the bad scenarios in my head. But when I disclosed, it was not near as stressful or horrendous as I'd imagined!

Glad you shared this!! 

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10 hours ago, Feeling Normal Again said:

That is awesome!!! I too built up all the bad scenarios in my head. But when I disclosed, it was not near as stressful or horrendous as I'd imagined!

Glad you shared this!! 

I know right! I was so shaken up but it turned out surprisingly well. I just think it was hilarious how he had  the same secret to tell me. You never know I guess lol! Thanks :)

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  • 4 weeks later...
On 6/28/2018 at 1:36 AM, LeftCoast said:

Holy shit, is this story for real? That’s crazy, I would love to know how the dates go down! 

Thanks, actually I do not think I connect with him as much as I thought (he likes me a lot though lol). But It is so super nice to have someone that I know that is riding the same roller coaster as me! I found a great friend so win win situation lol! Awesomely crazy story though right?!

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    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @Lcj987 and welcome to the website. You can be sure that isn't HSV-2, looks nothing like it. It is much more likely to be folliculitis or inflamed fordyce spots.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @JackThrowAway herpes causes an outbreak where it enters the body first and maybe a progressive spread. If it doesn't cause an outbreak at the entry site then it won't cause one elsewhere, it also won't 'jump' upon infection - it would be more likely that the lesions are continuous from the penis to the anus. Nevertheless, testing trumps symptoms or any interpretation of symptoms. The correct conclusive result arises when: you have a positive swab; or An IgG HSV-2 level over 3.5 (Herpeselect test).
    • Lcj987
      Slept with someone unprotected, roughly 2 weeks ago now. I felt generally unwell the couple of days after but I’d been drinking the whole weekend and didn’t have much sleep either of the days of that weekend so put it down to that. 6 days after I noticed these spots appear on the shaft of my penis. Along with symptoms of discomfort in my shaft in the couple of days prior to them appearing. No pain when urinating at all that I have noticed. They don’t hurt, itch or tingle and they don’t have fluid in from what I can see or feel if I squeeze them and have never burst? I went to a sexual health clinic to get checked up, they took bloods to do a full test and looked at the spots but said they saw nothing that concerned them but I’m not sure about that, any advice? The smaller spots under the shaft are just follicles I had diagnosed years ago and non-sti related.
    • JackThrowAway
      She tested positive for HSV2. No, there was nothing of that sort in that area.   However I also have ulcerative colitis so I’m on medication that makes me immunosuppressed. I have been bleeding a bit when I pass stools during the time of redness, so I’m unsure if I’m getting a flare from the colitis (from all the stress of everything) or if it’s due to the virus making it’s way to an already inflamed area and popping up as blisters that I can’t see and hence the bleeding.    I had two equivocal results (at 4 weeks and 6 weeks) that then went to a positive result (7 weeks after exposure). Combine that with some flu symptoms, redness, tingling etc. makes me feel it’s conclusive that this points to a hsv2 infection.
    • Anonimus
      Thanks!!!!! I appreciate your help.
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