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Hopefulwv

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Hopefulwv Honeycomb Member

Hopefulwv

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Hello all, I feel very discouraged from life now that I know that I have this disease. I feel like I’m very unlovable and that I will never find true love or that true love will never find me. I’m only 26 years old but I feel very tied down and guilty from this disease that I have. I feel so sad every day and I crave affection.  I feel like I can only be with someone else that has the same virus that I have in the future to have an honest relationship. Because let’s be real it would be so hard to tell someone when I have this herpes disease. I just feel very lonely,  And I feel like I can’t get ahead in my life because I’m so depressed sometimes ha ha it seems like that’s all I can think about sometimes is the disease and then I have it. Well I hope all of you guys are doing well and I hope you have a great summer :-)

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Southwestrancher Established Member

Southwestrancher

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You're not unlovable. I know it gets pretty depressing sometimes but hopefully a cure will be coming someday soon given the rapidly advancing medical research with CRISPR etc. 

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Feeling Normal Again Established Member

Feeling Normal Again

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I think most of us must feel that way, especially in the beginning.  After contracting hsv, I dumped the boyfriend who gave it to me, and decided I never wanted to date again, because I never wanted to go through telling someone I had this. I couldn't imagine anyone accepting me this damaged. I also couldn't spread this to anyone with them unknowingly sleeping with a diseased person, (like the SOB who gave it to me did). 

Fast forward one year, no outbreaks, and I had a guy pursuing me. I told him I could date him, but sex was off the table. He agreed. On our first date, I broke and told him, It was easier than I imagined to be open and honest and discuss the risks. I told him if he wanted to walk, I'd understand. 

Well, another year later,, still together, full active normal sex life (as careful as possible), talking marriage, and he hasn't contracted (yet).  

There is still hope for love and relationships. I'm learning, we shouldn't sell ourselves short as long as we're honest with possible love interest! 

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Feeling Normal Again Established Member

Feeling Normal Again

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Of course we use protection!

I've been outbreak free for two years now using neem capsules and Neem oil. I apply neem once a week before bed and take Neem capsules one week on/ two weeks off. 

And my boyfriend is very patient, because I still get paranoid about spreading this to him. At first, I was even making him wear medical grade nitrile gloves to even touch me.

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ConfusedandHurt Honeycomb Member

ConfusedandHurt

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14 hours ago, Hopefulwv said:

Hello all, I feel very discouraged from life now that I know that I have this disease. I feel like I’m very unlovable and that I will never find true love or that true love will never find me. I’m only 26 years old but I feel very tied down and guilty from this disease that I have. I feel so sad every day and I crave affection.  I feel like I can only be with someone else that has the same virus that I have in the future to have an honest relationship. Because let’s be real it would be so hard to tell someone when I have this herpes disease. I just feel very lonely,  And I feel like I can’t get ahead in my life because I’m so depressed sometimes ha ha it seems like that’s all I can think about sometimes is the disease and then I have it. Well I hope all of you guys are doing well and I hope you have a great summer

I read your post & instantly started crying b/c I’m feeling the same way. Feel like I should be over the shock of the virus by now but I can’t move forward. Part of me died 2 years ago & now I’m on autopilot. I smile so everyone thinks I’m happy but deep down I feel hollow inside, angry, bitter, lonely. Wondering what did I do that was so wrong that I ended up w/ the disease. Making progress in my professional life isn’t working b/c I’m lonely. I know a man can’t save me from my problems but sometimes you just want to be held. Wondering why I’m not loveable & now feel even less worthy. Wondering if I did things differently in the past, maybe I could’ve avoided it, avoided him. Not wanting to be the sad friend or crazy sister. Just wanting the emotional & physical pain to go away permanently. I’ve become good at bottling up my emotions, break down, then put them back in the bottle, and keep moving. But I want it to stop. I want to be truly happy. I want that woman I was to experience the good things that have came. I want the next man to meet the real me, not the broken version. I broke myself and I don’t know how to repair myself. I did the crime and can’t handle the time. Until then I have to manage, to find my source(s) of happiness. It’s comforting to know that others are going through what I am, but saddens me that we’re sad. 

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Bkittany Honeycomb Member

Bkittany

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2 hours ago, Feeling Normal Again said:

I think most of us must feel that way, especially in the beginning.  After contracting hsv, I dumped the boyfriend who gave it to me, and decided I never wanted to date again, because I never wanted to go through telling someone I had this. I couldn't imagine anyone accepting me this damaged. I also couldn't spread this to anyone with them unknowingly sleeping with a diseased person, (like the SOB who gave it to me did). 

Fast forward one year, no outbreaks, and I had a guy pursuing me. I told him I could date him, but sex was off the table. He agreed. On our first date, I broke and told him, It was easier than I imagined to be open and honest and discuss the risks. I told him if he wanted to walk, I'd understand. 

Well, another year later,, still together, full active normal sex life (as careful as possible), talking marriage, and he hasn't contracted (yet).  

There is still hope for love and relationships. I'm learning, we shouldn't sell ourselves short as long as we're honest with possible love interest! 

That's where I'm at right now. In the rage stage. Just totally pissed that people don't consider the fact that they should be more aware of their bodies especially when they choose to be intimate with another person.

I went straight from an unplanned pregnancy due to a condom that broke and a boy that didn't tell me, to HSV2. When does it end?

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Feeling Normal Again Established Member

Feeling Normal Again

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I was married for years, after my husband died, I waited 6 years to start dating again. And first long term monogamous relationship was with a guy who didn't tell me he had hsv. After we moved in together, we threw the condoms out the window (my tubes are tied, and I thought we were both clean). I could kick myself for that one!!! 

After horrible experiences in and out of std clinic and blisters that would not go away, he finally admitted he had hsv, and that he didn't know who he'd  contracted from because two of his exes had it, one of which had previously been a hooker. I really knew how to pick them. I was furious at him and myself!!  I couldn't believe this seemingly normal guy had hid a very shady past. (Dating the ex hooker was just the tip of the iceberg of his past and things he'd hid and lied about)!!

So, yeah, I totally understand the rage!!! 

 

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Xmk224 Honeycomb Member

Xmk224

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On 5/29/2018 at 6:56 PM, Hopefulwv said:

Hello all, I feel very discouraged from life now that I know that I have this disease. I feel like I’m very unlovable and that I will never find true love or that true love will never find me. I’m only 26 years old but I feel very tied down and guilty from this disease that I have. I feel so sad every day and I crave affection.  I feel like I can only be with someone else that has the same virus that I have in the future to have an honest relationship. Because let’s be real it would be so hard to tell someone when I have this herpes disease. I just feel very lonely,  And I feel like I can’t get ahead in my life because I’m so depressed sometimes ha ha it seems like that’s all I can think about sometimes is the disease and then I have it. Well I hope all of you guys are doing well and I hope you have a great summer :-)

I feel the same way. Keep your head up. There is someone out there for all of us

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    • CHT
      SUCCESS STORY: Herpes is an opportunity to built trust and connection through vulnerability.

      By CHT · Posted

      Hi "Jeremy"..... I agree, the topic of your HSV status does not need to be something you disclose too soon in a developing relationship..... get to know each other first....see how it's going and as it progresses, then the HSV issue will naturally need to be revealed.... it's my personal opinion though that before there is any sexual encounter you ought to disclose your HSV status.... I know some will disagree with me on this but, I think it is morally wrong not to disclose first.  This can be a make/break situation for most people but, again, I feel it is simply wrong not to give the other person the whole story since your decision not to disclose could put their health at risk.... that is simply not an option in my opinion.  Looking back to my "pre-HSV" life I most certainly would want my partner to disclose their HSV+ status before intimacy so that I could make my decision as to whether I want to take that risk or not.... 
    • Jeremy Spokein
      SUCCESS STORY: Herpes is an opportunity to built trust and connection through vulnerability.

      By Jeremy Spokein · Posted

      Thanks, CHT. I appreciate the feedback. The whole trauma of going through this has led me to figure out a lot about myself and my attachment wounds, so I'm taking courses to come out of this better. This girl really was my dream woman in so many ways, it's been the hardest heartbreak to deal with ever. I'm truly in a lot of pain, but using the pain as fuel to launch that new business and work with coaches. I also opened up to my family about HSV, so my parents and sister know now, and they were very loving and accepting of it. Since opening up about it, I feel way better around this thing. After opening up, I also found out that some mutual friends in our family have discordant couples who are married with children, so HSV hasn't stopped them from living a loving life. The thing is... all of these couples I mention did not disclose until 6-8 months into the relationship. So now I'm thinking it might be better not to disclose until I know things are very serious. I'll of course stay on the medication and use protection, but maybe this is a better route than disclosing upfront and scaring women off.
    • WilsoInAus
      Could this be hsv-2?

      By WilsoInAus · Posted

      Hey @Lcj987 and welcome to the website. You can be sure that isn't HSV-2, looks nothing like it. It is much more likely to be folliculitis or inflamed fordyce spots.
    • WilsoInAus
      Unsure if Herpes, awaiting swabs, need help

      By WilsoInAus · Posted

      Hey @JackThrowAway herpes causes an outbreak where it enters the body first and maybe a progressive spread. If it doesn't cause an outbreak at the entry site then it won't cause one elsewhere, it also won't 'jump' upon infection - it would be more likely that the lesions are continuous from the penis to the anus. Nevertheless, testing trumps symptoms or any interpretation of symptoms. The correct conclusive result arises when: you have a positive swab; or An IgG HSV-2 level over 3.5 (Herpeselect test).
    • Lcj987
      Could this be hsv-2?

      By Lcj987 · Posted

      Slept with someone unprotected, roughly 2 weeks ago now. I felt generally unwell the couple of days after but I’d been drinking the whole weekend and didn’t have much sleep either of the days of that weekend so put it down to that. 6 days after I noticed these spots appear on the shaft of my penis. Along with symptoms of discomfort in my shaft in the couple of days prior to them appearing. No pain when urinating at all that I have noticed. They don’t hurt, itch or tingle and they don’t have fluid in from what I can see or feel if I squeeze them and have never burst? I went to a sexual health clinic to get checked up, they took bloods to do a full test and looked at the spots but said they saw nothing that concerned them but I’m not sure about that, any advice? The smaller spots under the shaft are just follicles I had diagnosed years ago and non-sti related.
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