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How to disclose after already kissing?

Anonqwerty

By Anonqwerty,
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Anonqwerty Honeycomb Member

Anonqwerty

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I've been on a few dates with this guy, and I really like him. Things are going very well, and I don't think sex is in the near future quiet yet, but maybe in a few weeks. 

How do I disclose my OHSV1? I've disclosed before but never to someone who didn't know me before me finding out my diagnosis... every guy I told I already had history with, he's a completely new guy and we have already kissed! 

I tried to avoid it, but he went in for one, it was just a peck, but what do I do???? 

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Cas9 Platinum Support Member

Cas9

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2 hours ago, Anonqwerty said:

I've been on a few dates with this guy, and I really like him. Things are going very well, and I don't think sex is in the near future quiet yet, but maybe in a few weeks. 

How do I disclose my OHSV1? I've disclosed before but never to someone who didn't know me before me finding out my diagnosis... every guy I told I already had history with, he's a completely new guy and we have already kissed! 

I tried to avoid it, but he went in for one, it was just a peck, but what do I do???? 

ohsv1 is such a minor issue. Almost everyone has it; i.e. if you don't have it, you are in the minority. When I first started dating (early 1970s), there was no knowledge of ghsv2. All we knew was cold sores (oshv1), and nobody cared. There was no disclosure, no embarrassment, NOTHING!.  Then in the late 70s we started hearing about ghsv2 and how you have it for life etc, and that's when the panic and stigma started.

A peck on the lips when you don't have a cold sore present will not cause a problem. In today's world, disclosure is the norm. So tell him you get cold sores on occasion and be done with it. In practice, don't do anything when you have a cold sore or there's a tingling sensation, otherwise, don't worry about it and get on with your life.

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Anonqwerty Honeycomb Member

Anonqwerty

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1 hour ago, Cas9 said:

ohsv1 is such a minor issue. Almost everyone has it; i.e. if you don't have it, you are in the minority. When I first started dating (early 1970s), there was no knowledge of ghsv2. All we knew was cold sores (oshv1), and nobody cared. There was no disclosure, no embarrassment, NOTHING!.  Then in the late 70s we started hearing about ghsv2 and how you have it for life etc, and that's when the panic and stigma started.

A peck on the lips when you don't have a cold sore present will not cause a problem. In today's world, disclosure is the norm. So tell him you get cold sores on occasion and be done with it. In practice, don't do anything when you have a cold sore or there's a tingling sensation, otherwise, don't worry about it and get on with your life.

Yeah, I don't think it's a big deal. I just want to disclose so he knows for when I wanna put my lips elsewhere. But thank you!!! Do I tell him get cold sores even if I don't? I haven't had one since middle school 

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Cas9 Platinum Support Member

Cas9

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1 hour ago, Anonqwerty said:

Yeah, I don't think it's a big deal. I just want to disclose so he knows for when I wanna put my lips elsewhere. But thank you!!! Do I tell him get cold sores even if I don't? I haven't had one since middle school 

I've had ohsv1 since first grade and as I said, disclosure was something that no one did or was expected to do. If you told someone back in the day they would think you were odd. They'd probably look at you and say;
Ya? So what.

Now hsv has become a bigger issue.

You can just nonchalantly tell him you have ohsv1. For example you could say:
BTW, just wanted you to know that I've had cold sores in my life. They rarely occur for me. The last time was middle school. I assume it's not a big deal for you and of course I'll be careful not to do anything if I get a cold sore.

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WannaCry Acknowledged Support Member

WannaCry

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I typically suggest that people with OHSV-1 who very much like to give oral sex disclose. I personally do. Now I don't disclose until the relationship has gone far enough that sex has come up. For kissing no, I do not disclose unless I have an active sore, in which case it's a pretty simple 'Yeah it's a cold sore don't kiss me" situation.

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Anonqwerty Honeycomb Member

Anonqwerty

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11 hours ago, WannaCry said:

I typically suggest that people with OHSV-1 who very much like to give oral sex disclose. I personally do. Now I don't disclose until the relationship has gone far enough that sex has come up. For kissing no, I do not disclose unless I have an active sore, in which case it's a pretty simple 'Yeah it's a cold sore don't kiss me" situation.

Thanks!!! 

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