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Think about this when you’re down


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Hey guys- usually reading these rant and rave posts always make me feel worse, so let me try to rant while being as positive as possible.

If you think about it, no matter whether we have oral or genital HSV1 or 2, there’s really no such thing as safe sex. If we have it or not, we use protection not to spread it, or pick up the other strand (along with any other STIS). So many of us on here got it using a condom, and so many without. Some of us got it from oral, or just plain touching without sex.  Some of us are asymptomatic, some of us have horrible outbreaks. Some of us from one night stands or with multiplie partners, some of us in monogomas relationships or with very few.  It can be right away, or it can be dormant. Some of us got it very young, and then some later on in life. 

What I’m saying is, no matter which way you look at it, there’s just absolutely no way to not be at risk to spreading or receiving HSV. Unless you completely abstain from oral, anal, vaginal sex, touching, kissing, or whatever, you are at risk to contract or to spread. I think it’s awful some of us were not given a choice, but I think the wisest way to think about this is if you do not have some form of HSV, you are always a candidate to receive it. So whether we have this or not, the risk is still there. There’s not really ever peace of mind.

In terms of moving on and hoping to find love, I’m still new to this. I think the best way is for you and a potential lover to get the igG tests together. Highly likely chance they have some form and will have to face that reality WITH you. 


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    • EssenceL25
      I’m going to force him to get tested ! Thanks for your help ! 
    • WilsoInAus
      @EssenceL25 there really isn't a question mark around the source, it's your latest partner. The median time from infection to an outbreak of lesions upon initial infection is 4 days.  The only thing that isn't certain is the type I suggest.
    • EssenceL25
      I asked if it was hsv 1 or 2 and the doctor said it was Hsv2. I’m not sure i just asked him when he was tested last he said this year I said I think we should go test together and he agreed . I’m going to bring it up again cause I really need to know if he gave this to me I wasn’t sure since it was so close to my previous relationship.
    • WilsoInAus
      @EssenceL25 then it is all beyond reasonable doubt that the current partner is the source. A 'perfect' fit in terms of timing, symptoms and swab. It may be though that the type is not technically known. Culture swabs are very often not typed and just assumed to be HSV-2 if taken from a genital location. If you received oral sex in the days leading into 7 March then it is 50/50 as to whether this is HSV-1 or HSV-2. You could contact your doctor and confirm if the swab was actually typed (which is a second test where fluorescent antibodies for HSV-1 and HSV-2 are added and see which one 'glows').  If that test wasn't done then you do not know type. If you have oral HSV-1 yourself (cold sores) then this will be HSV-2. Does your partner have oral HSV-1? It is somewhat strange for him not to rush and test - many people have a 'reaction' if they truly do not know their status and have concerns that you infected them etc. (not initially rational of course). This indicates he may know his status - or maybe he just isn't simply the sharpest tool in the shed!?
    • EssenceL25
      I had flu like symptoms and ulcers on my vagina . They did a culture and I tested positive for hsv2. I asked my partner to get tested he agreed but I’m not sure if he will cause he hasn’t said anything else about it. 
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