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Hiding this secret. Living with HSV2


garc8592

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Hi everyone. Really hoping there’s someone out there who can hear me out and relates to my story. Anything will help. 

I was diagnosed 3 days ago that I have hsv2. I originally went to the gynecologist for what I thought was a scratch. Was expecting to walk out of there with some type of cream, boom, its gone. Well that wasn’t the case. Long story short, I got swabbed and results came back positive for hsv2.

Since the moment I’ve found out I’ve been in complete distress. I haven’t stopped crying and feel like I’m having a bad dream. I never thought this could happen to me but clearly I was wrong. Clearly I was unsafe about things and now have to live with this. To make matters worse, I’ve been in a relationship for 6 months now. I’m so in love, my boyfriend is my best friend, I’m close with his family, we have high

hopes for our future. I’m almost positive I caught this virus before I started dating him. I know some are probably speculating “you probably got it from him.” Or “he most likely has it” but he hasn’t slept with many people and is a very clean person. I trust him. As you could imagine, I am devasted that I could do something like this to him, hide this major secret. But I truly don’t know what else to do. I am so scared to tell him the truth and what I’ve been diagnosed with. I’m so afraid to lose him. He will indeed be devasted and probably look at me differently. Someone, anyone, have you ever had to tell your partner? And if so, what was their reaction? Did your partner have to tell you? What was your reaction? 

I know it’s not right to keep this from him, but I’m not ready to tell him. I am on day 4 of taking my medication. My first and only OB wasn’t bad. Just stung when I wiped which lead me to think it was a scratch. I am no longer feeling symptoms. 

Guys, please give me some advice or shed some light. I don’t know much about this virus and am only thinking the worst of what’s to come. I haven’t slept, can’t think straight, and just want to break down and cry every other hour. 

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It is never easy.  I told my SO and there was many questions.  

I had ready many posts from medhelp that dealt with the virus.  How it can be carried asymptomaticly.  gHSV1 rarely recurs so I also had that information.  

I honestly don't know if I have it genitally.  I have some weird irritations down there and on my thighs for the past several months.  Blood test was positive but could be other things and I have oral infection.  I lean toward genital.  

I am deadly scared to pass this on and she have the horrific outbreak people talk about.  I keep valtrex on hand in case she does.  

She in general took it well.  However I think she thinks I am over reacting and that I do t have it genitally.  Then when and if she gets it then I think she will constantly wonder about how and when I contracted it and silently (or not silently resent me).  

Edited by Scooby2112
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8 hours ago, garc8592 said:

Hi everyone. Really hoping there’s someone out there who can hear me out and relates to my story. Anything will help. 

I was diagnosed 3 days ago that I have hsv2. I originally went to the gynecologist for what I thought was a scratch. Was expecting to walk out of there with some type of cream, boom, its gone. Well that wasn’t the case. Long story short, I got swabbed and results came back positive for hsv2.

Since the moment I’ve found out I’ve been in complete distress. I haven’t stopped crying and feel like I’m having a bad dream. I never thought this could happen to me but clearly I was wrong. Clearly I was unsafe about things and now have to live with this. To make matters worse, I’ve been in a relationship for 6 months now. I’m so in love, my boyfriend is my best friend, I’m close with his family, we have high

hopes for our future. I’m almost positive I caught this virus before I started dating him. I know some are probably speculating “you probably got it from him.” Or “he most likely has it” but he hasn’t slept with many people and is a very clean person. I trust him. As you could imagine, I am devasted that I could do something like this to him, hide this major secret. But I truly don’t know what else to do. I am so scared to tell him the truth and what I’ve been diagnosed with. I’m so afraid to lose him. He will indeed be devasted and probably look at me differently. Someone, anyone, have you ever had to tell your partner? And if so, what was their reaction? Did your partner have to tell you? What was your reaction? 

I know it’s not right to keep this from him, but I’m not ready to tell him. I am on day 4 of taking my medication. My first and only OB wasn’t bad. Just stung when I wiped which lead me to think it was a scratch. I am no longer feeling symptoms. 

Guys, please give me some advice or shed some light. I don’t know much about this virus and am only thinking the worst of what’s to come. I haven’t slept, can’t think straight, and just want to break down and cry every other hour. 

Hey there, so sorry that you are

going through this. I too wake up every day and think about this until I cry myself to sleep. It is the most devastating thing I’ve ever gone through and I can’t even believe I make It through my days anymore. I know we probably sound dramatic to other people who have life threatening/ terminal illnesses, but in my mind I’m tired of people dismissing how this affects me psychologically, physically, and in so many other aspects of my future ( I’m a female with genital HSV1). That being said the first 2 weeks were horrific and then my mind was probably so tired of exhausting me every day with sadness and overwhelming thoughts. I have noticed they have died down a bit. I still don’t think I’ll feel normal ever again but there is some hope, and thankfully  for you, you already have a partner. Listen, I would tell him he needs to be tested. There’s no other way around this. I too trusted the person that gave me herpes but if it’s one thing I’ve learned throughout all of this is that look out for yourself at the end of the day. When I told him the news thankfully he got tested and igg antibodies showed he had it. Good news if if you guys have been together 6 months there will most likely be an answer waiting for you. If he has it, or even if he doesn’t you guys should agree to see a STI specialist ( really find someone good- it will save you so much suffering) to explain how this happens and the precautions you can take moving forward. I feel your pain but just know you’re not alone and hopefully a vaccine will soon come to our rescue. 

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