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Is this even possible?

Shocked at 58

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2 weeks ago, my boyfriend noticed a lesion on his foreskin. After a few days of trying ointments, something told him to go to Planned Parenthood. 3 days after he noticed the lesion, I felt like I must've bitten my tongue in my sleep. The next day, it had moved from the side of my tongue to the top, my gums were bleeding whenever I brushed, and I had a low grade fever. I went to the DDS thinking it must be something viral, given the fever and the bleeding gums. Little pimple inside one of the lesions. He wasn't sure, gave me some antibiotic mouthwash that he said probably wouldn't work, call my GP, and follow up in a week. When I came home after the appointment, by boyfriend told me his story about going to Planned Parenthood and how they cultured him and took blood, recognizing HSV. We drove to urgent care immediately so that I could get tested.

Urgent care felt it was canker sores, but took blood on my request (no swabs) and ran igg and igm. Boyfriend's results came back 3 days ago: he's tested positive for HSV-1 (on his genitals). My results just came back today: positive for HSV-2 in the past, negative for both for current (though it could have been too soon since it was only 2 days after symptoms began to appear. From what I've read, oral HSV-2 isn't impossible, but it's rare. I got my results by phone; I haven't seen them in print, so I don't know the values or methodology yet.

How could we both be asymptomatic all of our lives, and within 3 days of each other both have an outbreak UNRELATED to each other? I can't help but think that one of our tests is wrong. 

My boyfriend is not the man I see spending the rest of my life with (didn't before this escape either), so now I'm visualizing myself in the dating pool again, this time with HSV. If I have an oral version of HSV 2, will it always manifest in my mouth? Am I banished to condoms for the rest of my old lady life? How do I act as a responsible adult going forward?

Please help me.

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welcome. I dont know wnough but i would get clear info first  . Apparently a huge amount of ppl have hsv1 so he could have always had it. .. i would have thought u have hsv1 orally. Do u mean u have tested for hav2 in the past ??? U need more info .....

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His was a swab so that is unlikely to be a false positive.  

Your blood test you need to confirm if you tested positive on Igg or igm.  Igm tests are crap I wouldn't trust it's results. If it was igm that was positive wait a couple months and retake Igg only.  To see you true status for both types.  

I assume you were negative for HSV1 on your blood work?

Remember blood tests can't tell you the location of infection.  The overwhelming stats would say a hsv2 Igg test result would mean it was a genital infection.  If you do have oral HSV2 your genitals would be unaffected.  The virus stays where it is transferred it doesn't move locations.  Hsv2 is also very unlikely to shed or be very symptomatic on the mouth.  

So condoms wouldn't be required for an oral infection.  

You would need a blood test another 3 months out to verify if you may have also contracted hsv1 from your partner.  

Generally when in a relationship if someone gets genital hsv1 the other individual has oral HSV1. That is the most likely way to transfer it to the genitals.  Although genital to genital does occur just less likely/frequently.  

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    • CHT
      Hi "Jeremy"..... I agree, the topic of your HSV status does not need to be something you disclose too soon in a developing relationship..... get to know each other first....see how it's going and as it progresses, then the HSV issue will naturally need to be revealed.... it's my personal opinion though that before there is any sexual encounter you ought to disclose your HSV status.... I know some will disagree with me on this but, I think it is morally wrong not to disclose first.  This can be a make/break situation for most people but, again, I feel it is simply wrong not to give the other person the whole story since your decision not to disclose could put their health at risk.... that is simply not an option in my opinion.  Looking back to my "pre-HSV" life I most certainly would want my partner to disclose their HSV+ status before intimacy so that I could make my decision as to whether I want to take that risk or not.... 
    • Jeremy Spokein
      Thanks, CHT. I appreciate the feedback. The whole trauma of going through this has led me to figure out a lot about myself and my attachment wounds, so I'm taking courses to come out of this better. This girl really was my dream woman in so many ways, it's been the hardest heartbreak to deal with ever. I'm truly in a lot of pain, but using the pain as fuel to launch that new business and work with coaches. I also opened up to my family about HSV, so my parents and sister know now, and they were very loving and accepting of it. Since opening up about it, I feel way better around this thing. After opening up, I also found out that some mutual friends in our family have discordant couples who are married with children, so HSV hasn't stopped them from living a loving life. The thing is... all of these couples I mention did not disclose until 6-8 months into the relationship. So now I'm thinking it might be better not to disclose until I know things are very serious. I'll of course stay on the medication and use protection, but maybe this is a better route than disclosing upfront and scaring women off.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @Lcj987 and welcome to the website. You can be sure that isn't HSV-2, looks nothing like it. It is much more likely to be folliculitis or inflamed fordyce spots.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @JackThrowAway herpes causes an outbreak where it enters the body first and maybe a progressive spread. If it doesn't cause an outbreak at the entry site then it won't cause one elsewhere, it also won't 'jump' upon infection - it would be more likely that the lesions are continuous from the penis to the anus. Nevertheless, testing trumps symptoms or any interpretation of symptoms. The correct conclusive result arises when: you have a positive swab; or An IgG HSV-2 level over 3.5 (Herpeselect test).
    • Lcj987
      Slept with someone unprotected, roughly 2 weeks ago now. I felt generally unwell the couple of days after but I’d been drinking the whole weekend and didn’t have much sleep either of the days of that weekend so put it down to that. 6 days after I noticed these spots appear on the shaft of my penis. Along with symptoms of discomfort in my shaft in the couple of days prior to them appearing. No pain when urinating at all that I have noticed. They don’t hurt, itch or tingle and they don’t have fluid in from what I can see or feel if I squeeze them and have never burst? I went to a sexual health clinic to get checked up, they took bloods to do a full test and looked at the spots but said they saw nothing that concerned them but I’m not sure about that, any advice? The smaller spots under the shaft are just follicles I had diagnosed years ago and non-sti related.
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