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I give up :(


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I was recently diagnosed a week or two ago. I just don’t understand thus virus at all and I stay on Google all day trying to get answers. I have only had one outbreak which was only ONE small sore near my anus. So I’m not sure if I have HSV2 of the vagina or not. I’m just so lost and my doctors aren’t very helpful. I was already dealing with major depression and suicidal thoughts before this diagnosis and now it’s 10x worse. I just don’t want to be here anymore. 


I feel  like there is a cure for herpes out there but the pharmacy companies don’t want us to have it. It just makes me even more upset. 

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Hey, don't worry. I was diagnosised within the same time frame. Mine was worst than just one bump haha. I've been bummed out too- I was getting ready to hangout with this really pretty girl I've been talking to since before I found out and I just took a deep breath and told her I got tested and found this out. She told me her sister also has it and she is totally being supportive. So that was really nice. 

In America 1/6 people got it below the waist. ONE OUT OF SIX!! I can't imagine what the numbers are globally or in a place like India.


The first out break is said to be the worst. If thats all you have, you're probably gonna be okay. Herpes is not a "disease" - maybe in the sense that is puts you out of your ease, but it's just a skin condition, you know? They say most people with HSV2 will have to deal with it about 5 times a year. That's like dealing with a pimple a couple times a year. It comes and goes.

Sure it might be a sexually contagious pimple, lol, but take precautions and be honest. The chances of transmission are low if you are on meds and using a condom (even though it is transmitted from skin). If you want to have sex, stay on your meds. If you arent having sex reguarly, take them 3 days before sex and 3 days after. I'm not a doctor! Hope this helps. 


Please do not kill yourself over a skin condition. The stigma is bad, I know, but it could be so much worse. Think of people with cancer, or paralyzed, or aids! Even death, i'd rather have herpes than lose someone I love and people lose loved ones every day. 

If you need to talk, send me a message sis

much love


i'm kinda a hippie and believe that a serious diet change/detox to control my inner eco system. i believe mama earth has the tools to heal us and help suffocate the virus and creating an environment that it cannot survive in. 1 in 6 people have this. Thats a lot of money for the big drug companies!! been reading a lot about alkaline diet and oregano oil. look into it if you're interested! some people claim to have negative test after 3 months. not saying it's a cure, but it may be very well at controlling it

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Hey there, I understand what you are going through. My world felt like it shattered that day on the doctors table. I’ll never forget going to my car and crying harder than I ever had in my life. If you could even call it that, it was more like a mix of screaming and aggressive crying. I didn’t go to work for three days because the sheer thought of it destroyed me..

But that feeling didn’t last forever. By the time I was on the 4th week of my second breakout I challenged myself to look at it differently. To not let it define me and instead try and find the silver lining. That silver lining became me learning to listen to my body and take care of myself, to change my diet, work hard to control my stress, start working out more frequently, and just to be kinder to myself. 

If anyone had told me to find the silver lining in the first month I wouldn’t have been able to do it. But it is possible with time. You will find your peace with this in your own way and your own time. Seek support where you can, you don’t have to be alone in this. 

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    • CHT
      Hi "Jeremy"..... I agree, the topic of your HSV status does not need to be something you disclose too soon in a developing relationship..... get to know each other first....see how it's going and as it progresses, then the HSV issue will naturally need to be revealed.... it's my personal opinion though that before there is any sexual encounter you ought to disclose your HSV status.... I know some will disagree with me on this but, I think it is morally wrong not to disclose first.  This can be a make/break situation for most people but, again, I feel it is simply wrong not to give the other person the whole story since your decision not to disclose could put their health at risk.... that is simply not an option in my opinion.  Looking back to my "pre-HSV" life I most certainly would want my partner to disclose their HSV+ status before intimacy so that I could make my decision as to whether I want to take that risk or not.... 
    • Jeremy Spokein
      Thanks, CHT. I appreciate the feedback. The whole trauma of going through this has led me to figure out a lot about myself and my attachment wounds, so I'm taking courses to come out of this better. This girl really was my dream woman in so many ways, it's been the hardest heartbreak to deal with ever. I'm truly in a lot of pain, but using the pain as fuel to launch that new business and work with coaches. I also opened up to my family about HSV, so my parents and sister know now, and they were very loving and accepting of it. Since opening up about it, I feel way better around this thing. After opening up, I also found out that some mutual friends in our family have discordant couples who are married with children, so HSV hasn't stopped them from living a loving life. The thing is... all of these couples I mention did not disclose until 6-8 months into the relationship. So now I'm thinking it might be better not to disclose until I know things are very serious. I'll of course stay on the medication and use protection, but maybe this is a better route than disclosing upfront and scaring women off.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @Lcj987 and welcome to the website. You can be sure that isn't HSV-2, looks nothing like it. It is much more likely to be folliculitis or inflamed fordyce spots.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @JackThrowAway herpes causes an outbreak where it enters the body first and maybe a progressive spread. If it doesn't cause an outbreak at the entry site then it won't cause one elsewhere, it also won't 'jump' upon infection - it would be more likely that the lesions are continuous from the penis to the anus. Nevertheless, testing trumps symptoms or any interpretation of symptoms. The correct conclusive result arises when: you have a positive swab; or An IgG HSV-2 level over 3.5 (Herpeselect test).
    • Lcj987
      Slept with someone unprotected, roughly 2 weeks ago now. I felt generally unwell the couple of days after but I’d been drinking the whole weekend and didn’t have much sleep either of the days of that weekend so put it down to that. 6 days after I noticed these spots appear on the shaft of my penis. Along with symptoms of discomfort in my shaft in the couple of days prior to them appearing. No pain when urinating at all that I have noticed. They don’t hurt, itch or tingle and they don’t have fluid in from what I can see or feel if I squeeze them and have never burst? I went to a sexual health clinic to get checked up, they took bloods to do a full test and looked at the spots but said they saw nothing that concerned them but I’m not sure about that, any advice? The smaller spots under the shaft are just follicles I had diagnosed years ago and non-sti related.
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