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Just Married- After honeymoon, I found out I have HSV-1 Genital

kellie1010

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kellie1010 Honeycomb Member

kellie1010

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Hello all, 

First of all, wow. What a wonderful community of people here on honeycomb and across the web. I experienced my first outbreak of HSV 1- genital last week and I am so grateful of all the helpful tips and tricks and stories I have read. It truly helped me get through what has been the most painful week of my life: physically and emotionally. 

 

I got married in May 2018 to the man of my dreams after 4 very happy years of growth and love together. Literally days after we returned from our honeymoon I thought I had some severe chaffing from walking around and sweating. I was so tired, my vagina was inflamed, and soon after days of ignoring the issue/assuming it would go away, I had ulcers form all over my genital area. And I mean ALL over! 

 

Peeing felt like passing razor blades, I couldn’t clean myself properly, I was afraid to eat or drink, I could barely move and most of all the pain was unbelievable. Before I went to the Gynocologist and got visual diagnosis of herpes I thought it was anything, but that. I have been in a steady relationship for 4 years and I was certain there was no way this virus would sit dormant in me for that long. However, the Doctor took a look and told me it looked a lot like herpes. 

 

Through my sobbing and shock, I could barely pull myself together. I actually spoke to an on site therapist for about an hour about my fears of my new husband finding me disgusting and viewing me as a burden he was stuck with. I was terrified to tell him. 

 

However, when I shared the news I was met with unconditional love, understanding and concern. This negative situation actually brought us closer as newly weds. He has been a great support system for me. 

 

Now, the outbreak has cleared up, but I am experiecing some nerve and “phantom pains” down there. There’s a numbing pain in my butt and left leg that is incredibly irritating. Has anyone else experienced this? 

 

On another note, I am curious to hear stories of over coming the lack of sexiness and lack of libido after finding out you have herpes? How do you get back the confidence and urge to have sex again? 

 

Thanks for your time! 

-K 

 

 

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WilsoInAus Platinum Support Member

WilsoInAus

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Time is everything, heals everything, your best friend.

Your husband is understanding, which is great. He is fully aware though that he is the source?

All will return if your mindset lets it. You seem a healthy, fit, young woman so its highly likely you’ll experience very little in terms of symptoms. It will take a few weeks to return to normal. But normal it will be!

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kellie1010 Honeycomb Member

kellie1010

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10 minutes ago, WilsoInAus said:

Time is everything, heals everything, your best friend.

Your husband is understanding, which is great. He is fully aware though that he is the source?

All will return if your mindset lets it. You seem a healthy, fit, young woman so its highly likely you’ll experience very little in terms of symptoms. It will take a few weeks to return to normal. But normal it will be!

My husband just got a blood test to find out if he has HSV-1 as well. We aren’t sure if he is the source yet. 

 

It could of been from him and the doctor said I could have gotten this virus a long time ago from a previous sexual partner and it’s just making face now. 

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WilsoInAus Platinum Support Member

WilsoInAus

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The doctor isn’t quite right. Your outbreak is almost certainly a primary outbreak and that means you were just infected.

A primary infection with HSV-1 is almost never asymptonatic.   

There is no question it was your husband. But that is irrelevant next to the fact you both have the same virus meaning reinfection chances are zero to negligible.

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kellie1010 Honeycomb Member

kellie1010

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It will be interesting to get his blood test results back. I have yet to have a blood test to see if it’s a new infection. 

I believe we have been faithful to one another and he hasn’t had any symtoms that either of us can remember. 

 

A few years ago I got reacurring cancker sores and almost convienced myself I either gave this to him and he gave it to me genitally or I transfered it to myself somehow. 

 

It is all very confusing to find out how this suddenly happened after 4 years monogamous. 

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WilsoInAus Platinum Support Member

WilsoInAus

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Well it’s simply a random thing. You have to be shedding a copious amount, which lasts a few hours tops AND and oral sex at that time.

I guess there was just a lot of oral sex on the honeymoon. Maybe your husbands immune system was down with the stress of the wedding and wind down.

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kellie1010 Honeycomb Member

kellie1010

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6 minutes ago, WilsoInAus said:

Well it’s simply a random thing. You have to be shedding a copious amount, which lasts a few hours tops AND and oral sex at that time.

I guess there was just a lot of oral sex on the honeymoon. Maybe your husbands immune system was down with the stress of the wedding and wind down.

That’s what I am thinking too. 

Hopefully for him he doesn’t have the same horrible pain I had ever happen to him! 

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WilsoInAus Platinum Support Member

WilsoInAus

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You tend to only experience such a bad boutbreak and pain upon your first infection with HSV 1/2.

For example, the majority of people with HSV-1 that become infected with HSV-2 do not even know it as the immune system lessens symptoms a lot for many people.

 

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sameer82 Honeycomb Member

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On 6/17/2018 at 8:07 AM, kellie1010 said:

That’s what I am thinking too. 

Hopefully for him he doesn’t have the same horrible pain I had ever happen to him! 

How did you know its GHSV1 or HSV2 your doctor just confirmed it with visual diagnosis ..Have you ever done blood test and tried to find out which strain it is HSV1 or 2 ??

And did you got the result of your husbands blood test reports for HSV ???

Because its so different from person to person some have outbreak after 4 years in relationship and not had any symptoms ..Is it related to stress or vigorous sex which might have triggered the virus and caused the outbreak ????

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kellie1010 Honeycomb Member

kellie1010

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I was diagnosed with HSV1 genitally by a swab test during my first outbreak. 

My husband got a blood test and he did come back positive for HSV1 as well. 

He has never had an outbreak, but I believe he must have beeb shredding actively during our honeymoon and I got it. With the wedding stress, both of us being sick before the wedding, we were both run down. Just random luck! 

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      SUCCESS STORY: Herpes is an opportunity to built trust and connection through vulnerability.

      By CHT · Posted

      Hi "Jeremy"..... I agree, the topic of your HSV status does not need to be something you disclose too soon in a developing relationship..... get to know each other first....see how it's going and as it progresses, then the HSV issue will naturally need to be revealed.... it's my personal opinion though that before there is any sexual encounter you ought to disclose your HSV status.... I know some will disagree with me on this but, I think it is morally wrong not to disclose first.  This can be a make/break situation for most people but, again, I feel it is simply wrong not to give the other person the whole story since your decision not to disclose could put their health at risk.... that is simply not an option in my opinion.  Looking back to my "pre-HSV" life I most certainly would want my partner to disclose their HSV+ status before intimacy so that I could make my decision as to whether I want to take that risk or not.... 
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      SUCCESS STORY: Herpes is an opportunity to built trust and connection through vulnerability.

      By Jeremy Spokein · Posted

      Thanks, CHT. I appreciate the feedback. The whole trauma of going through this has led me to figure out a lot about myself and my attachment wounds, so I'm taking courses to come out of this better. This girl really was my dream woman in so many ways, it's been the hardest heartbreak to deal with ever. I'm truly in a lot of pain, but using the pain as fuel to launch that new business and work with coaches. I also opened up to my family about HSV, so my parents and sister know now, and they were very loving and accepting of it. Since opening up about it, I feel way better around this thing. After opening up, I also found out that some mutual friends in our family have discordant couples who are married with children, so HSV hasn't stopped them from living a loving life. The thing is... all of these couples I mention did not disclose until 6-8 months into the relationship. So now I'm thinking it might be better not to disclose until I know things are very serious. I'll of course stay on the medication and use protection, but maybe this is a better route than disclosing upfront and scaring women off.
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      Could this be hsv-2?

      By WilsoInAus · Posted

      Hey @Lcj987 and welcome to the website. You can be sure that isn't HSV-2, looks nothing like it. It is much more likely to be folliculitis or inflamed fordyce spots.
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      Unsure if Herpes, awaiting swabs, need help

      By WilsoInAus · Posted

      Hey @JackThrowAway herpes causes an outbreak where it enters the body first and maybe a progressive spread. If it doesn't cause an outbreak at the entry site then it won't cause one elsewhere, it also won't 'jump' upon infection - it would be more likely that the lesions are continuous from the penis to the anus. Nevertheless, testing trumps symptoms or any interpretation of symptoms. The correct conclusive result arises when: you have a positive swab; or An IgG HSV-2 level over 3.5 (Herpeselect test).
    • Lcj987
      Could this be hsv-2?

      By Lcj987 · Posted

      Slept with someone unprotected, roughly 2 weeks ago now. I felt generally unwell the couple of days after but I’d been drinking the whole weekend and didn’t have much sleep either of the days of that weekend so put it down to that. 6 days after I noticed these spots appear on the shaft of my penis. Along with symptoms of discomfort in my shaft in the couple of days prior to them appearing. No pain when urinating at all that I have noticed. They don’t hurt, itch or tingle and they don’t have fluid in from what I can see or feel if I squeeze them and have never burst? I went to a sexual health clinic to get checked up, they took bloods to do a full test and looked at the spots but said they saw nothing that concerned them but I’m not sure about that, any advice? The smaller spots under the shaft are just follicles I had diagnosed years ago and non-sti related.
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