One Night stands

[BPKU]

I'm just looking for other ppl experiences with disclosing to one nightstands BEFORE sex. There is this guy that I want to have sex with , he wants the same. Neither of us want a relationship so I am totally cool with this. But I can't do it unless I disclosed because if i dont I know I am gonna feel awful and I want him to make his own decision about it. Has anybody else had causal sex and disclosed before hand ? And if so, how did you disclose,  face to face, or text?  what was the other persons reaction? When disclosing to a one night stand do you meantion the strain? I have HSV-1 genital .I've only ever disclosed to potential dating partners. 2 were ok with it and then I got the silent treatment from another person after telling them. But anyways I really hope to hear some responses and thanks before hand  .

Edited June 18, 2018 by BPKU

[2kroc]

No offense to us herpes carriers, But You'd have to be crazy to want engage in a one night stand with someone who just disclosed their herpes status to you. 

 

"Yeah, So....uh...before we do this. I should let you know i have....herpes. Still want to bang?"

"Sure, Why not?"

"Great! This'll be fun"

 

If only there was some way to know exactly when and where  you were contagious, Disclosure would be a thing of the past.

[BPKU]

I mean by that same logic anybody would be crazy to have sex with us ever  lol ppl we end up in relationships with are at risk the most aren't they? Since that would mean regular sex... 

I'm asking to see if anybody has ACTUALLY disclosed to a one night stand because I've read on other sites that ppl have done it but most are blogs like the one here https://www.emilydepasse.com/eldsoul/2018/3/25/ask-emily-dating-with-herpes where basically the writer is responding to a question vs me actually having the ability to talk to the person who actually has the experience 

[Xmk224]

Im thinking alot of one night stands are usually ppl you dont know. So i assume alot of ppl take the risk and have protected sex or even unprotected sex knowing they will never see thst person ever again. Especially if the transmission rate is low while using protection

[BPKU]

Ok. That's true. I would def. use protection but i was just thinking I should say something. I haven't made an decisions yet so nothing has happened. And also thanks for your response.

[2kroc]

On 6/18/2018 at 10:13 PM, BPKU said:

I mean by that same logic anybody would be crazy to have sex with us ever  lol ppl we end up in relationships with are at risk the most aren't they? Since that would mean regular sex... 

I'm asking to see if anybody has ACTUALLY disclosed to a one night stand because I've read on other sites that ppl have done it but most are blogs like the one here https://www.emilydepasse.com/eldsoul/2018/3/25/ask-emily-dating-with-herpes where basically the writer is responding to a question vs me actually having the ability to talk to the person who actually has the experience 

 

Nope, It's totally different. Because marrying and having sex with a herpes carrier that you LOVE is generally worth the risk of contracting the virus. Getting herpes from a random stranger is generally NOT worth it.  If I didn't have herpes, but a girl i deeply loved did then I'd take the risk. 

 

 

[Quest]

Do it, all he can do is say no. Easier for you to get away with that because you are a woman?! IDK, but I think so!!! It will give you practice... Let me get you the disclosure sheet and see how it goes.

Short Disclosure pamphlet: Best for not overwhelming your lover https://herpesopportunity.com/downloads/herpes-opportunity-disclosure-handout.pdf

Edited June 29, 2018 by Quest

[Scooby2112]

Also be sure to point out the information related to the extremely low risk of ghsv1 transmission outside of an outbreak.  

It sheds very infrequently and for some never shed.  

Do you have outbreaks? Are you on antiviral?   

When did you contract ghsv1?  

Ghsv1 on antiviral sand condoms would be so low risk.  Now if you get frequent outbreaks it may be different.  

[Scooby2112]

Also you could ask if he has ever had a cold sore.  Some people have and remember.  If he has had a cold sore the risk of him contracting it genitally would be virtually eliminated since he already has the antibodies.  

[Scooby2112]

Remember ~50% of people have hsv1.  

There is a 50/50 shot he could have it.  

[Wtfisthisplease]

Don't disclose. People generally do not disclose coldsores during hookups. Even more genital hsv1 is less infectious than oral hsv1. At the same time this guy could have HIV, HSV2, HEPC, Probably has high risk HPV etc, wear a condom and hookup if you're willing to take the risk. When you hookup you assume the risk, whether the other person claims they're  'clean' or not. Unless you go get tested with them you will never know and even then the tests miss hsv1 infections. Hsv1 should really not be the concern, it's too wide spread, not usually tested for, and when the tests are used they're inaccurate. 

[Scooby2112]

The stats page that @Quest posted are good but the problem is the circles on potential transmission at the left are for hsv2 only.  Hsv1 genitally would likely be considerably less based on less frequent outbreak and shedding.  Possibly 5-6 x lower based on the difference In shedding rates

[Quest]

It has HSV 1 stats on the right center.

[Scooby2112]

36 minutes ago, Quest said:

It has HSV 1 stats on the right center.

Yes it does.  But those are shedding.  Not transmission.  I think people would automatically look at transmission (it's the most evident thing on the page) and assume that it's the same for all.  When it likely is in direct relationship to the frequency of outbreaks and shedding rate.  

 

[Quest]

You are correct and transmission rate is one percent and if you go by shedding rate then a man would be golden at about a half a percent? ...maybe less way less.

We are writing this for other people because the last time she came in was June 23rd. Haha

Edited July 1, 2018 by Quest
typos

[HenrySimplex]

Just take a one way ticket to pound town with anyone who takes your fancy. It's better than living a sexless life of misery.

 

I consider it a badge of honour to have herpes. If I don't think this way, like the pirate I am, I'm just some diseased undesirable. So I can either choose to accept it and my most recent HPV diagnosis and look at venereal diseases as ugly pokemon (gotta catch em all), or become a priest. 

I'll keep spinning my plates out here in Southeast Asia. Boy, I sure do know how to pick them! Went two years without sex over herpes.. hooked up once with a flight stewardess. Have HPV now. It's amazing and incredible. I can't wait for the next episode. Maybe it'll be the clap, or something else more exciting. 

 

Ah well, I remind myself. Most humans will die of disease anyway. Better ejaculate on some strangers before the death bell tolls.

 

 

 

 

[AnonF]

I am fortunate enough to live near one of the most prestigious hospitals in the USA that rates high in infectious disease diagnosis & treatment. I went to a specialist and asked direct questions including about casual sex. Firstly, I have ghsv1. She said: Casual sex is NOT off the table. When someone chooses to have casual sex, they are accepting the risk of contracting an STI. There is no obligation to disclose in this situation unless going without a condom. The risk is extremely low from a one time protected encounter . Don't do it if you are having symptoms. If you have sex with this person repeatedly, especially if you go without protection then you should disclose. If someone rejects you for it she says he's an asshole and a germaphobe. Because it's no big deal

[Roja]

AnonF, 

would you mind asking your doctor about HSV2 too? 

I have met so many doctors with so many different opinions.. 

[AnonF]

On 11/2/2018 at 8:48 AM, Roja said:

AnonF, 

would you mind asking your doctor about HSV2 too? 

I have met so many doctors with so many different opinions.. 

I did not ask many questions about HSV2 because I have 1.  

[AnonF]

FYI I recently had casual sex on a couple occassions with someone with a medical background and I did disclose. He was totally unconcerned about it. We shared our recent sti test results so we had unprotected sex.  

[Divon]

Not much point in disclosing for HSV1 no, unless it´s very active for u of course. Almost everyone who arent super virgins will get HSV1 somewhere on their body sooner or later anyway if they don´t already have it. Pretty ridic to make a big deal out of something that 0,1-1% of the carriers will make any fuss about.

[Poisonflower]

On 6/28/2018 at 7:18 PM, 2kroc said:

 

Edited November 5, 2018 by Poisonflower

[Divon]

On 7/4/2018 at 10:55 AM, HenrySimplex said:

Just take a one way ticket to pound town with anyone who takes your fancy. It's better than living a sexless life of misery.

 

I consider it a badge of honour to have herpes. If I don't think this way, like the pirate I am, I'm just some diseased undesirable. So I can either choose to accept it and my most recent HPV diagnosis and look at venereal diseases as ugly pokemon (gotta catch em all), or become a priest. 

I'll keep spinning my plates out here in Southeast Asia. Boy, I sure do know how to pick them! Went two years without sex over herpes.. hooked up once with a flight stewardess. Have HPV now. It's amazing and incredible. I can't wait for the next episode. Maybe it'll be the clap, or something else more exciting. 

 

Ah well, I remind myself. Most humans will die of disease anyway. Better ejaculate on some strangers before the death bell tolls.

 

 

 

 

You have herpes and you are feeling bad about hpv? Thats funny cus I showed something for a doctor recently and she said she thought it was hpv. I just changed the subject back to herpes immediately. Who the hell cares about hpv? 80% of all humans get that in life.

[dancingdesigner]

On 7/4/2018 at 4:55 AM, HenrySimplex said:

Just take a one way ticket to pound town with anyone who takes your fancy. It's better than living a sexless life of misery.

I consider it a badge of honour to have herpes. If I don't think this way, like the pirate I am, I'm just some diseased undesirable. So I can either choose to accept it and my most recent HPV diagnosis and look at venereal diseases as ugly pokemon (gotta catch em all), or become a priest. 

I'll keep spinning my plates out here in Southeast Asia. Boy, I sure do know how to pick them! Went two years without sex over herpes.. hooked up once with a flight stewardess. Have HPV now. It's amazing and incredible. I can't wait for the next episode. Maybe it'll be the clap, or something else more exciting. 

Ah well, I remind myself. Most humans will die of disease anyway. Better ejaculate on some strangers before the death bell tolls.

I laughed so hard just now reading this! hahahahaa

On 11/4/2018 at 10:54 PM, Divon said:

You have herpes and you are feeling bad about hpv? Thats funny cus I showed something for a doctor recently and she said she thought it was hpv. I just changed the subject back to herpes immediately. Who the hell cares about hpv? 80% of all humans get that in life.

Wait. I have herpes. And you bet your ass I'm going to do everything I can to not catch another disease ontop of this one LOL. 

On 11/3/2018 at 10:53 PM, AnonF said:

FYI I recently had casual sex on a couple occassions with someone with a medical background and I did disclose. He was totally unconcerned about it. We shared our recent sti test results so we had unprotected sex.  

I believe this. Doctors, especially, give no fucks (no pun intended). They'll stick their dick in a stove if there was some sort of guarantee it wouldn't fall off. It's part being knowledgeable and part God complex.