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I think I gave my boyfriend herpes through oral sex

Guest Anonymous

By Guest Anonymous,
in Could I Have Herpes or Cold Sores?

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Guest Anonymous

Guest Anonymous

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A couple of weeks ago I had a cold sore on my lip and I performed oral sex on my boyfriend. A week later he had a rash on the base of his penis and went to the doctor, who said it was herpes. This may sound stupid, but I didn't realize I could give him genital herpes that way.

My boyfriend is really stressed out about it, although he doesn't seem to want to talk about it at all. One of his biggest concerns is that he'll give it to me (I told him I think he got it from me, but he said there's no way to be sure and that he doesn't care where he got it). My question is this: If I gave it to him through oral sex (I don't know for sure whether he has type 1 or type 2, but I assume it's type 1) how likely is it that I can get it genitally from him since I already have the antibodies for type 1 in my system? I've read that you're less likely to contract type 2 if you have type 1 orally, but I haven't read anything about this type of situation.

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Guest Anonymous

Guest Anonymous

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I am no expert on HSV, but from what I have been reading, unless you have HSV 2 you can't give it to someone, but it is possible to get HSV 1 on your genitals. But seeing that 80% of the population has HSV 1, I wouldn't be too devistated about it if it was HSV 1. :D

I am sure Richard or Faith could tell you more about it. They seem to really know what they are talking about. 8)

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MC37 Pilot Established Member

MC37 Pilot

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unless you have HSV 2 you can't give it to someone

That's not accurate... You can give HSV1 to someone...

I've read that you're less likely to contract type 2 if you have type 1 orally, but I haven't read anything about this type of situation.

I'm not sure on the 'likely hood of getting it'based on already having an immunity because of hsv1.. I mean I have read the same thing, but what I wanted to comment on was...

...if indeed, you gave him HSV1 genitally, its not so bad.

I am 99% certain that mine is HSV1. and I get very mild and very infrequent outbreaks...

also I have read that type 1 generally sheds much less then type 2. Which I have found to seem to be true because I've had several long term VERY sexually active relationships where we only used KY with spermacide as protection and of course, avoided all sex during an outbreak, and I never passed it on to my knowledge.. And I still keep in touch with those people.

So if you avoid sex during an outbreak, its seems less likely that you will get it from shedding then if he had HSV2 at least according to things I've read, and my own experience...

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Guest Anonymous

Guest Anonymous

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Thanks for your responses.

I'm also concerned about how my boyfriend is taking his diagnosis. I want to make sure he understands that this doesn't change anything between us and that there's no reason for him to be as upset about this as he is. What can I do to make him feel better?

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Faith Established Member

Faith

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I'm also concerned about how my boyfriend is taking his diagnosis. I want to make sure he understands that this doesn't change anything between us and that there's no reason for him to be as upset about this as he is. What can I do to make him feel better?

I think, knowing the truth and the fact about herpes will make him feel better in the long run.

Read EVERYONE SHOULD READ THIS article 2 final by Richard in this forum, it's under Everything Herpes. You'll get a good idea about herpes generally.

And I've also heard that recurrence of HSV-1 in genital is less frequent than HSV-2 in genital. Milder symptom, too.

So... mostlikely, he's not gonna have to suffer from sever symptom..

Best wishes

Faith

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Guest Anonymous

Guest Anonymous

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Thanks, Faith. He is pretty good about educating himself, so that's a good thing.

I guess all I can do for him is make sure he knows that I still find him just as sexually desirable as I did before, which is a big part of his concern.

I still haven't been able to find much info on my initial question about reinfection. The closest I have gotten to an answer is this article: www.herpes.com/hsv1-2.html

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Faith Established Member

Faith

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I guess all I can do for him is make sure he knows that I still find him just as sexually desirable as I did before' date=' which is a big part of his concern.[/quote']

Definitely. <smile>

That'll surely comfort him and support him.

Faith

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Guest Anonymous

Guest Anonymous

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Hey, I'm back and wanted to give you an update and ask some more questions.

A few days ago I started feeling pain going from my lower back down to my knees, and my back and stomach felt realy sensitive like I had a sunburn. I couldn't figure out what it was, but then the next day I started noticing a few red spots just outside my labia. They're not really painful, but are definitely uncomfortable. From what I've read these are classic symptoms of an outbreak.

I figured the chances of me getting it were pretty good, so I'm not terribly upset about it. There's no way either of us could have prevented it (although I still thought I would have some immunity since I'm the one that gave it to him). I read somewhere that if you have hsv-1 genitally you will probably not have any more outbreaks after the initial one, so if that's true then it's certainly good news.

I was wondering how long this usually lasts. I've read that it can be up to four weeks, but I'm guessing that's not typical. My boyfriend's first outbreak lasted less than a week. I'm taking his acyclovir, so hopefully that will shorten it's duration.

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no more hope Honeycomb Member

no more hope

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coldsores

Dear Guest,

Sorry, I don't know the answer to your last post, but I was wondering when you contracted HSV-1 and if you told your boyfriend you had it before you first kissed him. What was his reaction?

I have HSV-1 too, and I just want to know what it's been like for you to live with it.

Thanks!

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Faith Established Member

Faith

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I was wondering how long this usually lasts. I've read that it can be up to four weeks' date=' but I'm guessing that's not typical. My boyfriend's first outbreak lasted less than a week. I'm taking his acyclovir, so hopefully that will shorten it's duration.[/quote']

Hi,

How long an outbreak lasts, and how often you get outbreaks,..... depends on the person. And depends on how strong your immune system is, if you under stress or not, if you're sick or not,..etc.

Eating healthy, and taking Vitamins and supplements can boost your immune, and make the duration shorter in the future.

Acyclovir may not shorten the duration this time, but it's supposed to keep the virus from making copies and spreading.

Make your immune system stronger.

Seems like that's the key..

Faith

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Guest Anonymous

Guest Anonymous

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Re: coldsores

Dear Guest,

I was wondering when you contracted HSV-1 and if you told your boyfriend you had it before you first kissed him. What was his reaction?

If you're referring to oral hsv-1, I've never thought of that as something you'd need to tell anyone before you got involved with them. Most people have it and most of them don't know when they got it. It's not a big deal.

From what I've read, neither is GH really. Not in comparison with a lot of other things at least. People seem to make a huge deal out of it just because it's incurable, but so what? It doesn't cause infertility or cancer like a lot of bacterial infections can, and it certainly doesn't kill you. It seems like it's really just an inconvenience unless you have a weak immune system or have frequent recurrences for some other reason.

Thanks for the info, Faith. I appreciate it.

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no more hope Honeycomb Member

no more hope

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Re: coldsores

If you're referring to oral hsv-1' date=' I've never thought of that as something you'd need to tell anyone before you got involved with them. Most people have it and most of them don't know when they got it. It's not a big deal. [/quote']

Do you guys think that you need to tell people about oral HSV1 before kissing them?

Do you guys know a lot of people with oral HSV? I feel like I don't know anyone else who has it. Is it really that common?

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Faith Established Member

Faith

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Re: coldsores

Do you guys think that you need to tell people about oral HSV1 before kissing them?

Do you guys know a lot of people with oral HSV? I feel like I don't know anyone else who has it. Is it really that common?

I've read that HSV-1 recur less frequent than HSV-2 generally.

I guess, the statistics (80% of population have HSV-1 in the U.S., )... it includes people who don't know that they have it ( because they have mild outbreak, or because they never get outbreak).

Although... I still don't think that HSV-1 shed when you don't have outbreak in your mouth, I would just give the information to my partner.

Faith

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MC37 Pilot Established Member

MC37 Pilot

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Do you guys think that you need to tell people about oral HSV1 before kissing them?

I agree with faith, I don't think HSV1 sheds...

But there is no such thing as 'too' honest, and I don't think telling someone you have had a cold-sore before is going to make anyone run...

I think its pretty widely accepted that cold sores are really common. But anyway...

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    • WilsoInAus
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      By WilsoInAus · Posted

      Yeah @FirstTimeUser there is nothing in the pic suggestive of genital herpes. It seems both you and your partner have HSV-1 orally and that's actually pretty cool. It means you won't pass it to each other's genitals owing to immunity. If the two of you are concerned about genital HSV-2 then mutually test for the IgG HSV-2 and HSV-1 antibodies.
    • CHT
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      By CHT · Posted

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    • CHT
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      By CHT · Posted

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