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New possible diagnosis of herpes


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I was given a diagnosis of herpes yesterday by a visual exam, I requested a blood test and also a vagina swab to confirm but I’m pretty positive that’s what it is (I was pretty positive that’s what it was before I even went in to urgent care) I told my current boyfriend about it right away, he freaked out, told me that’s impossible & broke up with me (he did go for a blood test yesterday at the ER, results should come for his today) I have 3-4 days to wait for my results & all I can do it cry, I’m depressed, can’t eat and I feel completely alone. I told my mom about it a little bit ago & she was supportive but I cried the entire phone call. I don’t know where to even go from here. 

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It's gets easier. I only got diagnosed last month and I'm already at peace with it. I'm dreading another outbreak but other than that I'm fine. At first I was heartbroken and felt disgusting etc but it's something you just learn to live with. Just try to stay healthy. Researching stuff helped me and realising I'm not alone. It's so common! Hope you start to feel better soon and more positive x

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Yea you're going to realize over time there are far more people that have this then you think. After having the virus for a few years you'll realize that it's no big deal at all. I say that with a grain of salt as there are some people who have it pretty bad on a regular basis. As for the vast majority its not all that significant. For me it would impact who I dated as I'd only want to be with a positive person. And the few outbreaks I have in a year its just a little tender at times. Outside of that no biggie. 

Again I'm not taking anything away from the folks that have a terrible time with it, to those I pray for a cure.

Good luck with the tests and let us know how they pan out. 

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Everybody deals with this different. I think its great that your mom is supportive. Mine is too... The best thing i did was confide in her. Because she will love me no matter what. She is the only person i can talk to even if i feel depressed.

It does get better in time. Life does go on. I try to keep focussed on things that are truly worth my time. My kids, my job, my family and seeing someone right now that doesn't mind about the virus. 

Last week i had an outbreak and that makes me still sad. But i pull myself together and enjoy life.

Talk to people you trust and let them help you. Knowing and feeling you are not alone helps a lot.

I was fighting this disease like crazy, but now i feel its better to accept it for what it is.. I feel great hope for the future. Crispr is making progress and here in holland 2,5 million euros were spend for research. I think there will come a solution, and until then...find support..


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    • CHT
      Hi "Jeremy"..... I agree, the topic of your HSV status does not need to be something you disclose too soon in a developing relationship..... get to know each other first....see how it's going and as it progresses, then the HSV issue will naturally need to be revealed.... it's my personal opinion though that before there is any sexual encounter you ought to disclose your HSV status.... I know some will disagree with me on this but, I think it is morally wrong not to disclose first.  This can be a make/break situation for most people but, again, I feel it is simply wrong not to give the other person the whole story since your decision not to disclose could put their health at risk.... that is simply not an option in my opinion.  Looking back to my "pre-HSV" life I most certainly would want my partner to disclose their HSV+ status before intimacy so that I could make my decision as to whether I want to take that risk or not.... 
    • Jeremy Spokein
      Thanks, CHT. I appreciate the feedback. The whole trauma of going through this has led me to figure out a lot about myself and my attachment wounds, so I'm taking courses to come out of this better. This girl really was my dream woman in so many ways, it's been the hardest heartbreak to deal with ever. I'm truly in a lot of pain, but using the pain as fuel to launch that new business and work with coaches. I also opened up to my family about HSV, so my parents and sister know now, and they were very loving and accepting of it. Since opening up about it, I feel way better around this thing. After opening up, I also found out that some mutual friends in our family have discordant couples who are married with children, so HSV hasn't stopped them from living a loving life. The thing is... all of these couples I mention did not disclose until 6-8 months into the relationship. So now I'm thinking it might be better not to disclose until I know things are very serious. I'll of course stay on the medication and use protection, but maybe this is a better route than disclosing upfront and scaring women off.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @Lcj987 and welcome to the website. You can be sure that isn't HSV-2, looks nothing like it. It is much more likely to be folliculitis or inflamed fordyce spots.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @JackThrowAway herpes causes an outbreak where it enters the body first and maybe a progressive spread. If it doesn't cause an outbreak at the entry site then it won't cause one elsewhere, it also won't 'jump' upon infection - it would be more likely that the lesions are continuous from the penis to the anus. Nevertheless, testing trumps symptoms or any interpretation of symptoms. The correct conclusive result arises when: you have a positive swab; or An IgG HSV-2 level over 3.5 (Herpeselect test).
    • Lcj987
      Slept with someone unprotected, roughly 2 weeks ago now. I felt generally unwell the couple of days after but I’d been drinking the whole weekend and didn’t have much sleep either of the days of that weekend so put it down to that. 6 days after I noticed these spots appear on the shaft of my penis. Along with symptoms of discomfort in my shaft in the couple of days prior to them appearing. No pain when urinating at all that I have noticed. They don’t hurt, itch or tingle and they don’t have fluid in from what I can see or feel if I squeeze them and have never burst? I went to a sexual health clinic to get checked up, they took bloods to do a full test and looked at the spots but said they saw nothing that concerned them but I’m not sure about that, any advice? The smaller spots under the shaft are just follicles I had diagnosed years ago and non-sti related.
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