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Rant/urgent advice needed


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                      I went to my obgyn about two-three weeks ago just for a normal check up. I got the normal exam and the standard STD screen that comes with it. I was not showing any symptoms. I had been screened for everything (including herpes. I was very adamant on being tested for everything, as I know that it is not part of the normal screening because of a friend who has genital HSV-1. Because of no symptoms she did a blood test one me, not a swab) Two days ago, I got the shocking phone call that I tested positive for HSV-2. They waited THREE WEEKS before giving me a phone call. Three months prior I had been tested for everything because of a phone call from an ex believing they had chlamydia ( I also insisted on being tested for herpes because of the same reason.) and tested negative for it all. About a month after being tested the first time, I was sexually assaulted for the second time. I'm almost 100% sure this is where I got it from as I had not been with anyone else. Looking back about a week after the assault, I had horribly swollen lymph nodes in my neck, I was so tired, and was aching from the lower waist below, but I never would have thought to blame those symptoms on an STD- especially with dealing with two sexual assaults within the past 8 months. I never had the typical symptoms of HSV-2, I didn't get sores or anything, just the swollen lymph nodes, aching, and fatigue. I guess what I'm getting at is I need major advice. I've been seeing someone for about two weeks now. We slept together for the first time the day before I got that awful phone call- no. condom. And I feel like the worst person on this planet. I'm telling him tomorrow. I can't live with myself if I didn't tell him. He deserves to know, and I would want someone to tell me if the situation were reversed. And it makes sense, the morning after I woke up with a huge painful cut and was so confused. My question is how in the hell do I go about telling him this... How do you tell someone you unintentionally gave them HSV-2? Because I know after all of the research I've done, the likelihood of me having transmitted it to him that night is so high. I can't sleep, the anxiety and guilt is eating me alive. He's such a good guy and I feel as if I've ruined his life. I like him so much and I wouldn't blame him one bit if he left, I can't blame him. I've only told my best friend, she's extremely supportive but she doesn't get it- she's an amazing friend but I still feel so alone. I don't think anyone gets it until they're in this position. 


Edited by Lmichelle
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I think you need to take this one step at a time.

Standard checkups are notorious for using the IgM test for example. I would certainly obtain the full test results to assess the situation further.

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Yeah, I’m not sure about the details of the results because it was just a phone call. I got the cut swabbed that day and I’m waiting on the results to come back. That would be a more affirmative answer than a blood test right?

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    • FirstTimeUser
      @WilsoInAuswould appreciate your thoughts as have seen you comment quite a bit before!
    • Marlena
      Good morning. My name is Marlena and I come from Poland. Sorry, my English is average. For two years I have been in a relationship with a man, for a year and a half I have been struggling with intimate problems. On average, my intimate condition is getting worse every month. Then I feel itching, redness, swelling around the entrance to the vagina, small blisters (not always). Most often it is only red and swollen, itches and then disappears. This state lasts 3-4 days. I come from a small town, doctors don't know what it is. They say it's 'skin irritation'. They prescribe moisturizing creams with lactic acid, probiotics. It doesn't help. I did a blood test for HSV on my own, which is very expensive in Poland, but it does not separate HSV1 from HSV2. The doctor, when he shows these results, says that it's not herpes, but irritation. I would like to add that in the past I suffered from herpes on the lips, then it was a 'scab'. There has never been a scab in an intimate area. Sometimes there are blisters that last 1-2 days, but not always. So what do high blood test results mean? I would like to add that in Poland people do not talk about the HSV virus. It's just that sometimes someone has it on their lips and that's it. Results translation: IgM HSV 1/2: questionable IgG HSV 1/2: result above the measuring range https://files.fm/f/4cpu7uee4  
    • FirstTimeUser
      This is my first time posting here. Im generally pretty anxious when it comes to anything to do with health conditions etc. For context I have had jock itch and fungal infections previously on my buttcrack. I have had 0 new sexual partners and I am not concerned about my girlfriend cheating at all. 4 days ago my balls began itching and red pretty much all over, as you can see some general flakeyness and what looks to be a lesion I noticed on Monday when I checked them out. My partner and I do get cold sores from time to time so the anxious part of me is concerned this could be herpes, but at the same time could be some sort of fungal infection. My doctor cant see me until tomorrow so I just have to worry until then. There is no pain and nothing on the penis or anywhere else, just general itchiness. Any ideas if this is herpes or not?  
    • Jeremy Spokein
      Yes, but every married person who I found out about that has this waited 6-8 months into the relationship to disclose it. But maybe you're right. If I had told her 6-7 months in, she'd still have Googled it and flipped out, and maybe it would have been harder then. I don't know. I don't see myself going through this level of pain and rejection so easily next time. I really don't. I'm taking the meds. I use protection. It's been almost a decade since I've had it so I'm not worried about shedding or passing it on so easily. British studies confirm that the first 2 years are the most contagious and we're passed that. I'm just over this. I've never been in so much emotional pain in my life.
    • Possiblehypercon11
      @WilsoInAus would really appreciate your input please. Kinda freaking out lol. 
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