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Telling new partners you have herpes


Broncogirl

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just met new guy. Things were going well. It's hard when you're older. I'm 66. We both felt good about connection. I told him I have herpes. He called it off. How do I help him deal with it and reconsider? It's not a death sentence.

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No it isnt a death sentence but not everyone is able to accept such things.You shouldn't try to convince him of anything. The person or people who are meant to be in your life won't need convincing. Keep a positive attitude, be honest with yourself and potential partners. You will meet someone that accepts you totally as much as you are willing to accept them totally. Dont lower your standards either for the sake of not being alone. Being alone in peace is better than having a partner in hell.

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Bronco may I ask do u get more ob now. Get scared don't really feel itchy down their but itchy body just scared menopause is right around the corner

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I went on a second date tonight with a very cool guy I was interested in. I told him about me having herpes and he said he can't date someone with it.. I was bummed we proceded to dinner and I drove home crying all the way. I knew rejection was going to happen someday but I wasn't sure how I'd handle it. I'm glad I let it be known earlier on before catching feelings but I was hurt..

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I'm very sorry to hear that Kendall. I haven't dated anyone since my diagnosis earlier this year. Honestly I'm not handling it very well. The prospect of dating again and then being rejected because of what I have is more than I can take right now. I admire your courage for putting yourself out there and being honest! I'm so sorry you have to go through this.

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Thank you Kiwanda. Although this was my first rejection in years because guys I have dated before has accepted me, I want you to not give up but when you get the courage to put yourself out there you'll be surprised at how many people don't have a problem with it. I just honestly didn't know how to take my first rejection but I feel better now, especially since joining this site tonight. 

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  • 2 years later...

I’ve had Genital Heroes for over 10 years . I didn’t know I had it at first but when I realised I did share it with my partner . I contracted it from a previous partner . My present partner wasn’t worried about it as he had no symptoms. We have since broken up and that was years ago . I can’t seem to enter another relationship as I am  afraid of being rejected . I’ve been on a few dates but really hold back. This of course affects the relationship going further . I feel like this will be my life forever . I want a relationship but can’t see it happening as I don’t think a man will want me with this condition.  

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On 3/19/2021 at 6:56 PM, Lucia said:

I’ve had Genital Heroes for over 10 years . I didn’t know I had it at first but when I realised I did share it with my partner . I contracted it from a previous partner . My present partner wasn’t worried about it as he had no symptoms. We have since broken up and that was years ago . I can’t seem to enter another relationship as I am  afraid of being rejected . I’ve been on a few dates but really hold back. This of course affects the relationship going further . I feel like this will be my life forever . I want a relationship but can’t see it happening as I don’t think a man will want me with this condition.  

If a guy really loves, he will accept you, especially a mature one. If not then he wasn't really feeling you. But it does suck having to disclose but it is the more responsible thing to do. 

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    • WilsoInAus
      Hang on @tweetsoc this is just self-indulgent self-delusion. What is super tricky about HSV? You're only saying that because of the super trick situation you are in having cheated on your partner, stop deflecting, how does that help anyone least of all yourself? You do not know you are going through an issue with HSV; it is pretty much certain you are not.
    • WilsoInAus
      The first article is from 'The Sun' which is just a sensationalist rag. The second article deals with a correlation between HSV-2 and cardiovascular issues that may cause ED. Did you actually read it? NONE of the participants experienced ED at the time of infection and 0.5% self reported EDS after 12 months. How does that fit with your 9 days. Herpes infections do not cause orchitis, that's just a myth that is started and perpetuated by people on web forums. There is no medical evidence of this. It doesn't matter if you agree or disagree with me on HSV. There is no subjectivity in the facts that I present.
    • WilsoInAus
      None of this changes the fact that: you cheated on your partner and you can't cope with that; and you do NOT have genital HSV. Yes I do have to lecture about messing up because you are not dealing with it. You are creating a world of confusion from fake and/or obscure accounts of HSV in order to not deal with it. Whether you consider it nasty or not is exactly the point - this is the key thing that is wrong with you - when are you going to address - man up! Who has tested years later despite a negative WB?
    • Charlie1968
      Thanks tweetsoc,  I haven't taken anything but ibuprofen. My doctor won't give me anything without the lab work. I get tested on the 17th and if negative again 4 weeks after that  I will look into prostatitis and definitely ask him about it. Best of luck to you. I hope you get some relief. Are your symptoms constant or do they come and go? It's strange how the brain works. Sometimes this drives me crazy and sometimes I have just got used to the feeling of hot sauce in my pants. good luck to you. 
    • tweetsoc
      https://www.thesun.co.uk/living/3104937/its-not-just-a-nasty-incurable-sti-herpes-can-leave-men-impotent-for-life/ https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.2047-2927.2012.00037.x
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