Writing to a magazine

[Amelie]

I think i'm gonna write to like Seventeen magazine or something and ask them to do an article on herpes. i'll tell them my story and everything, maybe it'll hit home for some people, or HOPEFULLY, scare some people into thinking smart about sex. I feel that my being 19 and female, other girls would listen to my story and others' and be cautious, smart, and most of all, sympathetic.

I dunno if they'll want to print it, but i think its important for people to know the seriousness of this disease, how to prevent it, how to deal with it, and how to tell people you have it. I want to try to erase the stigma attached to herpes that the people who get it are "dirty" and sleep around a lot.

Think it's a good idea? Do you think they'll even print something like that? I'm gonna write a generic letter and send it to multiple editors with my story attached, if anyone else wants me to send their story as well, pm me and ill make a compilation.

BTW this site is amazing and i no longer feel like killing myself; i feel like helping everyone else who has it.

[Faith]

Hi Amelie,

I don't know if they will print that, but still.... your idea is terriffic!!

If they put your story and publish it, do you know how many people would read it and cry with relief, knowing they are not alone..? And do you know how many people would think about life, and think about how important being compassionate to others..?

And I believe you should do it... because it will save YOU. Whether be published or not, you'll realize some major change in yourself. You'll see.... after you do it, I'm sure that you'll be no longer crying helplessly... <grin>

I was gonna answer your other post, but I guess.. no need to.

I'm smiling now....cuz., you're already in the process of healing... you just don't realize it yet... You're strong girl. You're gonna find so many precious things in life from now. Your mother will probably learn a very important thing from her daughter... <smile>

Best wishes..

Faith

[Cain]

Fantastic idea Amelie. I definitely think you should do it. I've seen two articles on herpes on msn.com during the last week...so it seems that the public IS starting to become more informed. Your article in seventeen could only help. Good luck and if you'd like, show us a draft of your letter and maybe we can comment on it (if you're comfortable with that of course!).

Cain

[Lasmom]

Bravo. I offered to talk to female students at my college. Spread the word. Irradicate the stigmata (is that the right term? ) Maybe save some people from this bothersome issue we share.

[MC37 Pilot]

Let me first say that I'm glad you found this place, and look forward to talking with you more... My reaction to your story, and wanting to write to a magazine or something...

I want to try to erase the stigma attached to herpes that the people who get it are "dirty" and sleep around a lot.

Ok, I see what you are saying, but after reading your story, you basically said that you did sleep around alot?

I had sex when i wanted to (with protection), i dashed in and out of relationships like a girl with a mission,

I'm not ripping on you at all, please don't mis-understand... I just believe in giving it to people straight, and this is just my opinion, so take it as you wish....

I'm just not sure that what you want to do with your story is what your story will do.

I think your story is more a testament to one of the results of 'sex drugs and rock-n-roll' lifestyle then a story that would erase the stigma attached to HSV.

I think anyone would look at your behavior and think 'yeah, that's a high risk lifestyle'.... and what WE all know here is that it does NOT take a high risk lifestyle to get HSV.

The class valedictorian is just as 'at risk' as the stoner if each is sexually active..

Sooooo many people on this site make statements about how they never slept around, only had 2 partners or only 1 partner in their life, and they got HSV, and how unfair that felt to them...

Frankly... after reading your story... you behavior WAS the kind of behavior that 'should' lead to getting an STD. (please know I mean your behavior, not YOU)

But no one's ever going to want me. I guess i'll just be an old maid with my ferrets and my books, and give up on any relationship of any kind. I won't kill myself, but in a way a whole big part of me has died already. I could have had so many choices. I'm smart, pretty, well-bred, ambitious, fun, and compassionate. But no one will ever see that again. I'll be wearing a sign on my forehead the rest of my life:

How are you going to erase the 'stigma' attached to herpes when you yourself feel like noone is ever going to want you, and noone will see beyond your disease to see the real you???

i feel like helping everyone else who has it

OK, again... this is all just my own personal opinion so you can take it for whatever....

This is very noble of a desire (to want to help everyone else who has it), but again... you need to help yourself before you are capable of helping other people.

Sometimes it would be easier to not address our own personal 'inside' issues and distract ourselves by a pursuit to help others. Sometimes when we don't feel good about ourselves, we substitute self-value by making our purpose to help other people.

The truth is (again, all this is just my opinion) that if we help ourselves FIRST, then we will be most capable to truly help other people.

Helping others is a noble cause, and indeed can be a great distraction. It can make us feel like we have purpose and are doing something good... But it will never in and of itself fix what really (in my opinion) is wrong with you, and that is that you don't feel good about yourself.

What I see here is that you are in a great position.... You recognized what your previous behavior brought to your life... And now you are in a great position to make changes not just in your behavior, but also in how you feel about yourself... what is important in life etc.

You have changed your behavior already... that's a great start... now its time to fix what is wrong with you... with how you feel about yourself right now...

It seems like you have written yourself off as 'lost to a world of loneliness with your ferret and your books' but that you can at least be a sacrificial lamb to help others who might get, or have HSV...

In my opinion, your first step needs to be recognizing for yourself that your life is NOT diminished by HSV. The 'stigma' attached to HSV may or may not ever dissappear for people who don't have it, or don't know they have it.

But you can surely overcome the stigma yourself... And in the process of doing so, you can come to know the true meaning of life... and that is love...

Sometimes it takes getting everything taken from you to make you realize what life is really about... and getting herpes... pretty much takes everything from you... makes you realize that so many thing that broght you happiness before, don't bring you happiness now... makes you realize that nothing will make you happy because you have HSV... THAT is the bottom...

That is when you come to recognize that the ONLY thing that can make a person happy... The ONLY emotion that you can trust, and that you can find true happiness in is love...

and learning more about love is the ONLY way out.

Learning that you have to love yourself first... learning how to do that, which starts with being blatantly honest with yourself...

then after learning to love yourself, and in essence become love... taking that love and encountering other people who are love too.

I believe that is the only true happiness... and HSV doesn't get in the way of any of that...

Again... this is all just my opinion... Maybe for you, the way out is to set out to help other people... But what are you going to tell them? If you think your life is over, or that 'a part of you died' how are you going to help someone ELSE feel differently then you feel? If you feel that way, why would you expect that you could make someone else feel any different?????

[christi]

I have been published

Hi there,

My name is Christi and I am a 29yo Aussie girl and I have written my story which was published in the Australian edition of Cosmopolitan magazine and I have overseen the writing of an STD 'spread' in Cleo magazine. I have had herpes for five years. If you are a good writer you definately have a shot at having your story published because of it's timely subject!

However, some points to ponder:

Your story is going to be read by many people who already live with herpes, who know nothing about herpes or who know someone with herpes. You should be careful not to perpetuate the stigma of herpes in any way. Your story should not scare anyone!!!!!

Stick to the facts when explaining how you came to get herpes and be sure to include that herpes is something that a person can come into contact with during one sexual contact as opposed to many.

Be careful that you don't present yourself as someone who 'deserved' it as the stigma would have everyone believe. Maybe you could emphasize the fact that you are not alone and have not behaved any differently from any other college student on any campus.

Be clear on how you want your story to be perceived eg:

an up-beat story

factual

positive- indeed talk about how your experience has affected your life in a positive way...it will have believe me!!

informative

educational

reassuring to those who have herpes or considering a relationship with a person with herpes

research your subject and be sure to emphasize how COMMON herpes is.

A persons experience with herpes is a very personal and individual thing. When writing about it our main objective is to weild a powerful weapon in the eradication of the stigma! Please be very careful that even though you wish to be 100% honest it is not a good idea to focus on the emotional pain it has caused you unless it is to explain that the emotional pain was relatively short lived and you have realized that herpes is LITTLE MORE than a skin condition which can be passed on during sex.

If you would like me to help you by proof reading your story or anything else please feel free to email me at christilee50@hotmail.com

Good Luck!

Christi.

[lovely79]

Christi,

Thanks for posting that. I believe that if writing about this topic it should be in a positive light and not to scare people, but to inform them that it's just a part of a persons life and not something to be scared of.

STD is such a bad word that we learn to think of as bad. It's just a skin condition.... much like acne or psoriasis... it just is caught doing sexual activities and contagious. It's annoying but that's about all.

Christi you sound very positive and I'm glad you're here.

Lovely