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40 in Uk anyone?


Tulips40

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Hi all, im 40, diagnosed 18 years ago. 

Beginning to come out of denial and accept it.. Feel depressed and horrible about myself. 

How have you coped? Have you had long term relationships? 

Looking to chat. Sarahx

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  • 4 months later...

Also recently diagnosed uk- here to listen :) if you guys know of any 'secret' Facebook/meet up groups in UK I'd be grateful for info too. I think meeting ppl also affected will kinda help with the healing process. Cheers 

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I'm 41, and have had this 7 years. I am in south east London. I have also suffered depression as a result, overwhelming tiredness and fatigue, which may be the virus itself, but more likely depression.

Ive tried various supplements over the years, some have an effect, others, not so. Also, Chocolate, tiredness, alcohol, and stress are biggest triggers for me, More often or not, i get the itching, but not the outbreak. The itching and or burning can be quite intense at times.

A year ago, i met someone at work, and it was the first time i had to tell a potential partner about it, i asked her if she got cold sores, and she said yes, and i said so do i, but down below, She said 'so' and that was it, she was fine with it. I have her a fact sheet, and i think she learnt a few things about something she kind of had already (hsv1 whilst i have hsv2).

However, after 4 months, we split for other reasons. Now i am back to square one.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hi all, just come back on this site. Nice to hear from uk people and my age. 

Im still in and out of denial. Seem to be suffering with more frequent ob's recently after years of none. Very annoying. Been dating guys but haven't had 'the talk' yet. I always get to the point of sex then chicken out. I just cant say the words. 

X

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On 12/1/2018 at 9:42 PM, emz said:

Also recently diagnosed uk- here to listen :) if you guys know of any 'secret' Facebook/meet up groups in UK I'd be grateful for info too. I think meeting ppl also affected will kinda help with the healing process. Cheers 

I think there is a fb group but i haven't joined as im not convinced how 'secret' it is...!

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3 hours ago, Tulips40 said:

I think there is a fb group but i haven't joined as im not convinced how 'secret' it is...!

@Tulips40 ha i  know what you mean 9_9 I've since joined a couple and they've been very positive and welcoming. I read recently that there's roughly 35,000 new h diagnosis a year in the UK..(might not be accurate) so I'm thinking- where the heck is everyone? xD

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Giving the talk is never easy, but we are not strange or dirty or anything. When I have to tell, I just say: you know cold sores, well I have them but down there...I´ve had 3 long term relationships since diagnosed, and never have been rejected...so cheer up and be brave, I know it´s hard, but there are worse things and life happens in a while...I´ve always been fighting more with obsession (not just with this virus) than with the probems per se. I´ve come to realise that there is not a way thing are, they are as we see them, so dont be so hard on yourselves, at the end of the day, 2/3rds of the planet has this virus, remember, the same virus, just different strains of it. 

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 12/17/2018 at 9:49 PM, emz said:

@Tulips40 ha i  know what you mean 9_9 I've since joined a couple and they've been very positive and welcoming. I read recently that there's roughly 35,000 new h diagnosis a year in the UK..(might not be accurate) so I'm thinking- where the heck is everyone? xD

Hi, what facebook group have you joined? Is it 'secret' in that it doesn't show anywhere you joined?

Sarah x

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I think there is a UK fbook group run by HYPE, and one run by the herpes viruses association (HVA). I know the hva group doesn't have that many members, compared to how many members it has overall as an organisation, presumably because people are concerned about the privacy risks of discussing an std on a social media platform. Plenty of face to face meet ups run by both groups in London and increasingly elsewhere in the UK. 

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  • 7 months later...

I’ve had it for a couple of years that I’m aware of 🙋‍♀️ I’m a bit wary of joining a Facebook group as although I’m ok with having it myself, it’s definitely something I’d prefer other people not to know! I haven’t even told my family, just the boyfriend of course. It’d be great to chat with someone, I’m near Maidenhead

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  • 4 weeks later...

Hi all, just popped back on here, how is everyone?

I still haven't met anyone long enough to give the talk...potentially its approaching though.

I'm confused about my symptoms as i never used to get many ob's, 1 a year if that. Now i keep getting this spot on my lower bum cheek and im not sure whether its an ob or not...

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  • 2 years later...

Surrey, 15 yrs.

My first thought when told was 'Oh ok, what do I take to clear that up?' The next things was 'WTF, I have an STD for life?!!!' 'For life!!' That was a massive thing, no-one ever mentioned STDs for life. i think if I knew that I could catch something for life I'd have been even more careful (I was pretty careful anyway but it only took one time...)

I'll always feel 'infected' and 'unclean' but there's nothing I can do and the chances of a cure , from what I have seen, are minimal. I think this is party due to pharma companies not wanting to tackle something minor that resides inside the nervous system (small issue with potentially huge issues if there are any side effects).

Tiredness is the only thing that brings it out, so usually I know it is coming and use Dynamiclear which stops it instantly. 

Overall I am used to it, it is a tiny tiny part of my life and I can go months without even thinking about it.

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