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spytfyre

unsure i need some help

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spytfyre

This may be a somewhat long post. In March of 2006 I was concerned I contracted Herpes Simplex 2. I received a blood test but wasn't informed which type of test just knew it was a blood test to detect herpes. Doing some research earlier I found that the HSV cannot be detected through blood tests only the antibodies.Anyway I had a negative and positive result I want to say it was positive for the HSV 1 and negative for 2 so my doctor had me come back in 3 months. During those 3 months I was constantly itching and burning pretty bad and very upset. When I returned to the doctor she examined me again and said she was 90% positive I had herpes and even started me on Valtrex but said she would do the blood test anyway to confirm it. A week later I get a call that my results are negative so she wants me to come back.She can't explain how or what but she said I didn't have it. She didn't know what was wrong with me she couldn't confirm it said it may have been too much acid in my diet anything like that whatever. I asked her are you sure I don't have it and I am pretty sure I remember her saying no if you did it would've shown up in your blood. Well last week sometime maybe the end of the week before,not sure, I started itching really bad and getting irritated on my vaginal area again.So i think it's a yeast infection because I was on antibiotics at that time and just stopped those on Mon for a sinus infection and I almost always get a yeast infection when I take antibiotics. I tried over the counter meds and that didn't work so today I got a generic version of Difulcan called in.Still not feeling better yet but I think you got to give it like 24 hours to work.Anyhow I go in for my pap today but with someone else, a nurse practioner and since it was part of a screening program, she couldn't diagnose or treat me for my current issue however when she went to go put the speculum in she saw the area I was talking about and said she wasn't meaning to be rude or whatever but asked if I was ever tested for herpes. So i explained the above story to her and that was what I was afraid of. She informs me that even though I had two negative results I still could've been incubent at that time, something my doctor never advised me she told me no you can't have it if you did it would've shown up in your blood as I stated earlier.Very angry and upset she did say that it didn't really look like a yeast infection or herpes but than again herpes doesn't look the same today ( i get what she meant by that). So i call my doctor's office and speak with the nurse to get the Difulucan called in and tell her the above problems.She couldn't really tell me much of course other than to try the pill if the symptoms don't go away then I could schedule to come in to see the doctor and get more testing done. Okay I already did this almost a year and a half ago, more than a year and half ago when the first blood test was done. I was reading about viral smears, she never did that.All she visibily found was that i had two very tiny lesions according to her this was the week before she said I didn't have it. Now she's actually a nurse practioner not a doctor if this means anything, it shouldn't,though.I have been with my boyfriend for almost 14 months now and am devasted because when I got with him I told him what happened in the months prior and that I was fine, no herpes. Now i'm having to tell him that I may actually have them when this could've been prevented. Now if I do have them, he probably has the virus,too, and it's not fair.If I don't get better and do in fact find out I have it, is this subject for a malpractice lawsuit? I don't feel enough thourough testing was done. The nurse I saw today said it wouldn't have been my doctor's fault because it didn't show up in the test but I feel in fact it is, the doctor should've been aware of incubent periods as well not telling me that if I had it would've shown up in my blood when the research I've done clearly states the virus is not detected in the blood only the antibodies. If anyone can please help me in what they think the hell's going on and what I should do and if this has similiarly occurred it would be appreciated. Please not that my boyfriend has been the only sexual partner I've had since Feb 2006,that's almost 2 years. He doesn't have any STD's. I know i made huge mistakes in my past and unfortunately in life sometimes we're made to pay for those mistakes but I wish I could get some answers so we both know for sure. I doubt he will leave me as this isn't my fault that I was misdiagnosed, if that winds up being the case, still I am scared. I can imagine how he would feel being with me and thinking i'm fine and the almost 14 mths into the relationship all of a sudden I have this STD I told him I didn't have. yeah that seems fair,right?

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Caliope

I had a similar experience and finally was correctly diagnosed by a swab culture.

Both my bf and I had gone through the entire testing thing when we first started seeing each other and we were certain we were clean based on those lovely negative test results. Then I have an outrageous ob and run to the dr and test positive after more than 2 years together. I can't ever remember being more upset in my life than the day I received that phone call.

Labs can make mistakes and some blood tests aren't very reliable.

The Gold Standard blood test is the Western Blot. The Herpeselect is also considered to be reliable and the result you want is the IgG not the IgM.

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spytfyre

that's very disheartening

and i was hoping almost a year and half later it wouldn't be possible and then you said it took nearly two years. and my doctor assured me I didn't have it because she said it would've shown up in the blood. I don't knwo what to do I don't want to go back to her to be tested again I don't trust her.She should've known the possibilities of a negative result when in fact it should've been positive and also about it being incubent. I'm not saying I have it. I haven't really checked down there lately been too afraid to I just know that i took the yeast infection pill and it hasn't helped much so it must not be that. Now my boyfriend, though, hasn't had any problems nothing has shown up on him if I have it wouldn't he,too? Maybe I don't have it but something's not right.This morning I woke up and had the worst lower back pain and cramps in the lower abdomen almost like if I was getting a period but I didn't so I don't know if those are symptoms or not. The only choice I have other than my doctor is to go to our local health dept and they probably won't do a swab test just another blood. I have no health insurance so I don't have anywhere else to go unless I pay up front in full and a lot of doctor's don't except new patient's plus I don't want to wait awhile to be tested. If i find out I do have it you think it's legitmate I can sue my doctor? Did you try to when you tested positive and how did your bf react when you found out?

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Caliope

I didn't mean to discourage you by telling you my experience I simply wanted to let you know that others have been in that position.

I never was offered the option of a blood test or I would have had one earlier. I don't get classic ob's so it was difficult to know what was going on.

No I did not sue my dr. I don't think the tests were wrong there simply was no virus present on the skin at the time.

My boyfriend and I do not live together and I called him when I got the results. His initial reaction was to tell me he loved me but we could NEVER have sex again. I was completely stunned. We are very compatible sexually and it's next to perfect. We continued to talk and at the end of the week he asked me to find a way that we could continue our relationship as he couldn't lose me.

I am pretty sure my bf has not contracted hsv from me.

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spytfyre
I didn't mean to discourage you by telling you my experience I simply wanted to let you know that others have been in that position.

I never was offered the option of a blood test or I would have had one earlier. I don't get classic ob's so it was difficult to know what was going on.

No I did not sue my dr. I don't think the tests were wrong there simply was no virus present on the skin at the time.

My boyfriend and I do not live together and I called him when I got the results. His initial reaction was to tell me he loved me but we could NEVER have sex again. I was completely stunned. We are very compatible sexually and it's next to perfect. We continued to talk and at the end of the week he asked me to find a way that we could continue our relationship as he couldn't lose me.

I am pretty sure my bf has not contracted hsv from me.

oh i'm sorry I didn't mean it that way I was saying that was discouraging for you and me. They say the skin test can show up negative if the sore is healing,so. But i can't believe they didn't offer a blood test. I don't know I wouldn't trust your doctors it could've been prevented sooner. The only way your bf will know is for him to be tested,too.He may not show any symptoms. If you didn't for almost 2 years it may take him longer. I've been feeling better today so I'm hoping that maybe it was just a really bad yeast infection. I guess if I get worse I'll get checked again but I do not want to go back to the doctor's. I felt bad today because my bf finally admitted it does bother him a little bit because I didn't wait until after we had sex to tell him I'd been previously tested for herpes in Mar and June 06. I tried to explain to him that I didn't say anything at first as I didn't see it as a problem because I was informed there was no problem I didn't have it. I told him that I winded up telling him cuz i just thought maybe he had a right to know.I never meant to hurt him like I said I didn't think it was a big deal. I guess once I got closer to him I felt I could tell him but I was embarrassed and afraid at first especially since I was told I didn't have it. Either way he said if we ever break up and I do have it he'll never be able to date again because it will be too hard for him to tell someone that he has it and he knows 80% of the time what the response would be anyway it be like a girl would go to kiss him and he'd have to be like oh wait I've got herpes. I told him he shouldn't even think that we would possibly break up so that hurt even more.I tried to explain to him as sad as it is herpes is not uncommon anymore I think an estimated 80 million Americans have it it doesn't make it right but I was trying to get him to understand if something did happen to us it's not impossible he wouldn't find someone else. In fact it would probably be easier for him than me.Still all this really hurt me and I don't even know if I have it or not. As far as what your bf told you I don't know what to say, I mean what if you two want to have children he'l lhave to have sex with you at some point. If he really loves you and wants to stay with you that's a risk he's going to have to take.Until then you can at least use condoms when your not having outbreaks to reduce his risk which i'm sure you've probably tried to explain that him.

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Caliope

I am pretty certain I was infected many years prior to this relationship by a spouse who evidently cheated on me. I have small symptoms but do not get classic ob's. Dr's even gave me swabs for hsv in the past but they were always negative.

As for my bf. We got together in 2005 and I experienced my first ob (1 small sore which I thought was a scratch) and I went, had an examination and was tested and the test was negative. My bf is very responsible and was tested before we started dating but went and was tested again several months into our dating relationship. He tested negative again. We both had multiple tests spread out over time and did not jump into a sexual relationship. We dated 3 months before taking that step.

Several years passed and I had a second ob and when I tested this time it was positive.

It is unfortunate that your bf has that attitude. The biggest problem with his view point is that if you are not comfortable discussing and taking responsibility for your own sexual health you are putting yourself in jeopardy of far more dangerous illnesses than hsv. Just the act of discussing std's/sti's and requiring a partner to follow through with testing is an act of personal responsibility. So many of us jokingly ask a partner if they are clean and then without really validating whether their answer is true we have sex. We want to believe that people are sti free and truthful. It is not a comfortable feeling to think that this person we are attracted to and might consider sleeping with or keeping in our lives would have an sti but we can clearly see that they are sexually active and anyone who is sexually active is at risk.

As I mentioned earlier, my bf's immediate response was no sex but upon reflexion he did not want to lose me because of hsv. We have a healthy and active sex life and hsv does not impact it.

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spytfyre

that's good. I don't know yet. I was feeling better mon and tue and now i'm hurting again. he keeps getting upset with me about it because i haven't went and got checked to confirm if I have it. The lady from our health dept wrote me back and they do an IgG but said it takes 3 months for the results and they do a swab. I feel horrible because I thought I was okay and now my bf said if he has it he will be kinda upset and I couldn't expect him not to be but it's his fault just as much because it takes two. The thing that upset me was last night he said if he did have it he was telling everyone though because he'll have it for the rest of his life he might as well and i told him not to do that because then all his friends and family will hate me because i'll have been the one that gave it to him i told him all his friends will sorry for him and bad mouth me and he said maybe but i know how people are and they'll be quick to go behind his back and be like oh he has herpes. I just feel so stupid. I made stupid choices in my past and I can't do anything about them. It just really angers me my doctor never even suggested further testing or anything just sent me on my way she even had me on valtrex that whole week before the blood tests came back ( she didn't start me on the meds till after the blood was taken so I outruled that as causing a negative result). I just can't figure out what else would be making me feel like this. I know it can't be any other STD because we haven't been with anyone else and it's not a yeast infection because I took medicine for that. But thank you for talking to me.

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spytfyre

i didn't mean to make him sound that bad. he's silly sometimes i don't expect him not to be upset. I haven't went and got tested a second time yet. I just didn't tell him i was ever tested for it until after we had sex and were together a little bit. like i said before i just didn't think it was a big deal cuz i was told i didn't have it. I just think that now I do but he's never been tested for STD's, he's not had many partners in his life and the one's he did he used condoms with and i think they didn't have a lot of partners. He's never been sick or anything or had any symptoms.He wasn't threatening me he's just getting tired of me talking about it and not doing anything about it I think. I should've told him i was tested before we ever had sex I guess I just was afraid to and felt it wasn't important.He had a good point though why did i ever bother to tell him if i still wasn't worried about. It's not that I was worried about it it was just that was a part of my past I wanted to share with him. Now another thing that scares me, I've always taken baths with my daughter from time to time to kill two birds with one stone can she get it in the bathtub if I were to have it?

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spytfyre

in response to your last message caliope

thanks for taking the time to write to me. I am going to try and go Thu to our local health dept which is in the same building I work at the problem is they only have a clinic on a first come first serve basis for about 2 hrs in the morning and in the afternoon. I spoke with a nurse this morning and she said to try coming in at one or 1:30 and I have to work at that time. I have to ask my boss tommorrow if I can leave a few mins to one so I can see a doctor there. I don't want anyone finding out what i'm going downstairs for,though. As far as my bf goes he highly doubts he has anything that he gave me because I'm the one who's having symptoms and had symptoms before. The last girl he was with was about 2 to 3 years ago. I tried to explain to him that condoms aren't always effective because he said I was the only girl he's never used condoms with. I'm just terried to get my HIV test done because I read that herpes and HIV can be synonmous and u can have vaginal ulcers when you have herpes. I also found another disease that's not an STD that may help other girls that are unsure,though, it's called Vestibulitis and these are some of the symptoms

Severe pain with pressure (for example: biking, exercise, tight fitting clothes ).

Vaginal entry such as tampon use or intercourse.

Burning, stinging, irritation, or raw sensation within the vestibular area.

Vestibular redness

The urge to urinate frequently or suddenly

I don't really have the sudden urge to urinate but I think I have been peeing more lately. It just doesn't explain the pain and irriation around the perianal and anal area I'm having as well. But I saw a picture of this disease and my vagina looks somewhat like that.I've been too afraid to examine myself and haven't checked lately but last time I checked this kinda looks like the vestibulitis.The HPV virus has been associated with this and I had HPV in 2002 when I was pregnant which caused pre cancer of the cervix and genital warts, but all that has been long gone.Once I had everything laser ablated I've been fine ever since and have tested negative for HPV for the last 5 years. And yes HPV is curable contrary to what people may think I read in a magazine a few years ago when they were talking about a possible vaccine for it which I know it's out now, that 90 % of women who had HPV were getting rid of it own their own. Also, with outbreaks how long do they usually last? The last time I had issues in 2006 it was persisten I kid you not for 3 months which from what I've read herpes doesn't usually do that. At this point I've been feeling like this for 3 wks now, since the weekend before or beginning of week of Thanksgiving.That seems like an awfully long time for herpes

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spytfyre

i want to post this but I can't figure out how to post a new thread again

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  • The Hive is Thriving!

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  • Posts

    • Quest
      When I broke out/ shed it usually was on my backside left side, my  upper crack or back right below the belt! Doggy style is my absolute favorite position which makes him very vulnerable! I think there definitely is an advantage to wearing some sexy clothes or latex! Or even the liquid gloves. I think the biggest problem is that people shave now and they nick and cut themselves! That leads them open for infection on any part of the boxer area!  
    • WilsoInAus
      I’d build on this to say that the volume of virus is critical. It has been observed that shedding instances where there are 10^7 virions are required for a pragmatic chance to actually get through the skin and it’s natural defences. Most shedding instances are well below this threshold. I’d also suggest that for many asymptomatic transmissions, most of the virus comes to the surface during the sexual act itself. So little point testing beforehand.
    • floydmonk
      Thank you for sharing that. Very resourceful.
    • Cas9
      I wasn't following the conversation closely, but yes, all that matters in terms of being contagious is if the virus makes it to the skin.
    • yadayadayadayada
      @Cas9 isn't that a "technicality"? From the sound of it this means that on a cellular level there is a daily battle but at the end of the day the virus can't transmit until it is present on the skin... right? I mean the question will still be: how many days is the virus present and transmittable. The mechanism (the technicality) is important but also not important... but I could be wrong, just trying to interpret. 
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