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Unlucky, but at least I don't feel alone!

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Hi everyone!

I'm a 25 yr old college graduate that just got shocked to hell with a positive herpes test and a long lasting ob.

I've always been the good girl, I've only had two partners, and didn't sleep with either until we were together for over a year and in loving relationships. My exes and I always used protection (more because taking birth control scares me with all those possible side effects than any std concerns), but I still contracted it from him anyway. He didn't even know he had the virus, it had been about 4 or 5 years since his last sexual encounter and had never had an ob and didn't know that any of his past partners had an infection. I know I didn't contract the virus from my first relationship because we were both virgins and neither of us ever experienced an ob.

Anyway, the heartbreak stress from the unwanted (on my part) breakup from my last ex mounted on top of all the other stresses from moving cross country caused what turned out to be my first ob. It's much better now, but it's been a problem for probably 8 or more weeks now because I'm not any less upset. I've started taking Lysine and Vitamin C daily, does anyone have any other suggestions? Echinacea (sp?) was giving me a bit of a gag reflex after taking it for a few days.

Now I'm trying to get over the feeling of being a broken person. I feel less valid somehow, and have completely given up on dating. I'm trying to do things to bring up my self worth, like dressing much more prettily and using makeup regularly, flat ironing my hair all the time instead of most of the time, and perfuming myself up fresh out of bed. Every time I take a moment to try to address how I feel instead of covering it up, I turn into a PMS-like emotional mess and end up in tears.

Dealing with a new move, a breakup, and an std is no joke! I'm sure I'll be fine in the long run, but I'm glad I found a forum like this for the short haul. I don't feel so alone.

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Yeah I understand.

You don't expect to have this but it happens, even to the nicest and safest people.

You'll be okay though and everything will get better for you.

That's what I believe anyways.

God has a plan for you and it will work out, maybe this is a wake up call for you. You just moved so its like a new start. No one knows you or anything about you. So its up to you how much you share right now, or atleast until you meet someone special.

Just keep your head up, I am new to this as well and the only thing that changes is your sexual relationships.

I've noticed that I've always wanted to get into shape again, and this thing has caused me to eat healthier and keep up my immune system, so that is a good thing!

YOu're still the same person, no one or anything can change that.

this is just a bump in the road!

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The Good Girls Club!

Skydreams: I totally empathize and sympathize with what you are dealing with! You are so young and the fact that you've only had two sexual partners and now have to deal with H really SUCKS! At least I'm in my early 40's, have already been married (and divorced) and had my children. I read people's posts on here and I want to take it away from all of us!

I found out about 5 years ago and the time, had no sexual partner which led my gyn to think that I was probably infected much earlier but it was dormant. I can remember before this having frequent "urinary tract infections" that sometimes responded to antibiotics -- and sometimes did not. You would think that after the third supposed "infection" it might have occured to my primary physician to test me for H, but they never did. Now I realize that they were probably OB's and I just didn't know it. I am very angry with the medical population! One doc even told me that I had a bladder disease (interstitial cystitis) and they put me on meds for that...

Anyway, I am finally now after five years beginning to accept it more and after all this time of being celebate - am once again thinking of being in a relationship and having sex (I miss the intimacy it brings). However, reading some of the posts on here (while factual) I am scared...and sooo worried to transmit this to ANYONE for any reason. I have been in therapy for some time now and she really doesn't think/act like H2 is such a big deal...she keeps telling me that HIV is what I need to worry about (and some of the research proves that H2 makes us more succeptible to contracting HIV).

So, where do we go from here????? I keep trying to read and educate myself and guess that the easiest relationship for me now will be with someone who has H2 and can relate to living with it together. I have recently gone onto some of the dating forums (haven't found anyone interesting yet) but I'll keep trying.

You need to take some time to take all that has happened in. You need time to adjust to what is happening. Find a good therapist - that will help you alot!

If you need to talk, please private message me. [email address removed by admin for privacy and security]

Take care!

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Skydreams, it honestly sounds like you haven't dealt with the issues yet. If letting yourself think leads you to crying... maybe you need a good cry? Maybe a day of laying in bed with the tissues next to you, crying your eyes out at ever sad movie in the movie store would help. When i was first diagnosed, i rented a sad movie and cried (i hardly ever cry!), and it really help "cleanse" me a bit emotionally.

It sounds like all those changes really caught up with you, but you can't expect to move on until you deal with all the sadness. HSV gets better, getting over a boyfriend gets better, and if you apply yourself moving to a new place gets better.... but you have to deal with the pain, not just push it away.

I do have to agree with worrisome on one thing though -- getting this has caused me to take better care of myself. It can produce some positive results once you get your mind wrapped around it!

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