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LadyT916

I Just Confessed

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LadyT916

I have known I have HSV for about 2 weeks and since then my boyfriend has been out of state but today I decided I was strong enough to let him know. I sent him an email and I am waiting for a response now. We have been together off and on for 5 years and I am so afraid of losing him especially when I need him the most. What can I do to make it easier for him? I do not want to lose him.

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catiesmom

Good for you for facing that fear and doing what is right!! Hopefully he'll be understanding.

Make sure he doesn't just google HSV and believe what he reads - there's a LOT of worst-case-scenario stuff just hanging out there in the cyber-world. Most people find if they combine the news with as much information (factual information, that is) as possible, it helps ease the blow. Most people who don't have HSV immediately think of the stigma attached and can't get past it. If you can give him some information to let him know that it's not that bad, just about everyone has it, it's the same thing as cold sores which he himself has a good chance of having in the past, and that your sex life isn't over and he won't necessarily catch it from you, it might help put him at ease.

Best of luck! Let us know how it goes!!!

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Caliope

It is a really good idea for your bf to get tested for herpes. It doesn't just show up out of nowhere it is caused by skin to skin contact.

It usually comes from exposure with someone who is infected orally or genitally. Many people don't know they have it because they don't get or recognize the symptoms.

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Sweety042

Told him by email?

To me that is something you should tell, but tell in person. Or if time is an issue, on the phone voice to voice. I can't imagine being impersonal with someone you want to keep around with an email. You've done that now, so if it was me, I'd get on by voice as soon as possible. To hear the inflection in his voice, and assure him that your relationship can continue.

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lilanne19

I agree that telling someone via email is probably the worst way to tell, however, that was how I told my bf. I'd just found out, the relationship was new (2 months), I felt dirty, diseased and scared because I didn't know what my life was going to be like (an overreaction I know now) and scared because I'd finally met someone I saw a future with and had to tell him that not only I had it but that I may have given it to him. To date, it was still the worst time in my life (and I've been through a lot). He going to be upset? I feared the worse, and that fear was real (although I realize now I was projecting because he is still the sweetest man i know). This was in Sept but I remember it like it was yesterday. At the time I couldn't say the word herpes without crying. It's definitely not the preferred way to tell. But I'd already decided that I was going to walk away from the relationship because I needed time to deal with it. However, the thought of him having it and giving it to someone else made it all the more important for me to tell him and do it soon. So if you realize that you just can't get the words out, email is better than saying nothing at all. BTW, I'd gotten the email idea from a website. I felt better knowing that there were other people like me out there.

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alwall0828

I just wanted to say GOOD for you for telling him.

I have told by email, because he couldn't wait to talk one on one. And the first person I had to tell after my marriage I wrote a letter to by snail mail. My current bf we were on instant messaging and he told me he had cold sores so that's when I told him I had GHSV.

The thing is that you told him. And that's always the first step

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  • Posts

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      Why is it your worst fear to have GHSV-1? 
    • Miss Horne
      Not sure if this has already been mentioned before, could we donate to his lab? Hsv specifically? 
    • Gems
      It can be very difficult to diagnose I do not know the lab discussed here but I have read about sexual health clinics that no longer use the blood tests for this reason of false negatives. Even swabs can be hard they were in my case.  I know I have it and never resorted to the biopsy.

      Do your own research and consult with GP's. I would assume you have this until its totally ruled out.  

      I read about a person on this site who tested neg on the IgG and pos on the weston blot.

      Please do your own research. 
    • Gems
      If it is an issue why not speak to admin about creating two separate threads...one for those looking at natural management and "supposed" natural cures and one looking at medical breakthroughs. That way both interests are served, no one is offended and people who wish to look at both can. No one is excluded and everyone included. Those who want to stay with the medical threads can. Maybe there will be less issues that way. 

      Personally I would prefer not to engage with those who are seeking vaccines and gene tech ect esp if they are nasty or condescending and prefer to support and encourage like minded without the excessive debates in a supported enviro.

      Just putting it out there.

      @Heatbroken Sydney

       
    • Gems
      do not panic. be more careful in future and work through the tests. you are better to assume you do and isolate a bit and watch the symptoms. it is hard to test for via blood, and swabs. weston blot is supposed to be most reliable and biopsy too although extreme. red lump that sort of crusted - well herpes symptoms vary widely. 

      it can be hard to deal with doctors as they can assume you do not have it if some test come back neg...they do not always take the attitude to look for it.

      do not panic and follow the steps and research.
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