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valleynovascotia

What do I do? No easy way out!

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valleynovascotia

A girl that lives in my building likes me but I don't want too have too tell her i have herpes out of embaressment plus fear she tell others on the building as everyone hangs out in the front it's a small community. At the same time I don't want too turn her down as I don't want her too think that I don't like her but is it reallly worth everyone finding out and facing rejection?

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Cas9

Stop being embarrassed because you contracted a virus. There's nothing to be embarrassed about; You did nothing unethical. If it were me i would not let this opportunity go by the wayside. I also would spend time with her to get to know her first; i.e. don't attempt any physical relation for a while. Don't put pressure on yourself. Take it slowly, a step at a time. Don't date her and be thinking about hsv and when and how you're going to tell her while on your date. Instead, get interested in who she is and what kind of person she is. Be a good listener. Have good conversation. See if you like her beyond the physical attraction. That should be your focus in the beginning. Get back to us and let us know what's happening.

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Ryan M.

Only you can know the answer to that! But look, why don't you get to know her a bit and find out what she's like. Tell her you need to take things slow if she wants to get physical. If you feel that she is someone you can build trust with, then you can take the risk and let her know that you are telling her before you have sex because you care about her, but that you want to choose for yourself when and who you disclose to. If she's a decent human being she will respect that. Don't let this bullshit stigma keep you from moving forward dude. 

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Dutchy

I disclosed twices with no rejection. Hopefully you Will have the same experiences. I do onderstand that you dont want everybody to know. Build that trust and if she is really interested she Will at least Honor your privacy. 

I truelly hope this turns out well for you. If you need advice on disclosing deel free to send me a message.

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valleynovascotia

But what about kissing ivé had two cold sores in 5 years she wanted too kiss me last night and i was afraid too.

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Cas9
1 hour ago, valleynovascotia said:

But what about kissing ivé had two cold sores in 5 years she wanted too kiss me last night and i was afraid too.

For Chrissakes, nobody cares about OHSV; Everyone has it!!!  As long as you don't have any cold sores present, kiss away. If I told someone I had OHSV they'd probably think I was odd. Nobody talks or cares about OHSV.

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Dutchy
19 hours ago, Cas9 said:

For Chrissakes, nobody cares about OHSV; Everyone has it!!!  As long as you don't have any cold sores present, kiss away. If I told someone I had OHSV they'd probably think I was odd. Nobody talks or cares about OHSV.

I agree! Everybody seems to have these ...since one year i have been Teamcoach to a new team. 5 out of 7 had cold sores in the last year! Nobody seems to care about ohsv. I am not sure if people know that IT can be transmitted to genital even. 

Really no worries there. Do you have hsv in other locations than oral?

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Cas9
1 hour ago, Dutchy said:

I agree! Everybody seems to have these ...since one year i have been Teamcoach to a new team. 5 out of 7 had cold sores in the last year! Nobody seems to care about ohsv. I am not sure if people know that IT can be transmitted to genital even. 

Really no worries there. Do you have hsv in other locations than oral?

I have both.

OHSV1 was acquired as a child. GHSV2 at 28 y.o.

No one ever cared about OHSV until the GHSV scare in the 1970s. But even then, people generally didn't (and still don't) care about OHSV, except the people on these forums.

Edited by Cas9

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hitkid

The following comment will only work if you listen to this music while reading it.

Valley fucking Nova Scotia. I THOUGHT TAUGHT YOU DIFFERENTLY! I guess I am wrong.
 

Quote

At the same time I don't want too turn her down as I don't want her too think that I don't like her but is it reallly worth everyone finding out and facing rejection?


Do you think it was worth it for me to travel 1,600 miles to see the weird HC moderator for the first time? 

OF COURSE IT WAS!

Now I've had this lovely girl dealing with my strange ass for more than a year. Hell, I even got the shits my first night staying at her place from some dope ass chicken she shared with me. 

If I didn't take a chance and get on that plane to a foreign land I wouldn't get to continuously blow ass around her for the past year!

I've told 15 people that I have herpes virtually all of them forgot. Why? I PUSHED IT TO THE FUCKING LIMIT THAT'S WHY. 

Life takes fucking bravery man. If you like this girl then you get the fuck up, throw some valtrax down your throat, arm yourself with some statistics, tell that girl like it ain't no fucking deal, let her say yes, strap on a condom, and FUCK LIKE YOU HAVE NEVER FUCKED BEFORE! 

What if she says no and tells? Well fuck her if she tells. Good people generally think people who are gossips are assholes. Fuck man, just deny it. Who gives a shit. If she's lame enough to tell to bring attention to herself like that, she's probably lame enough to lie about shit to bring her attention. Turn that shit on her and say she's saying that shit because you wouldn't sleep with her.

Or just fucking rep it man. 

So have her come to your place. Get a hot make out session going on and repeat after me:

I have to tell you something that's not a big deal to me, but might concern you. **Wait for reply**

I have herpes. 

YOU NEED TO DO THIS SO PUSH IT TO THE FUCKING LIMIT! 

Hit the wheel and double the stakes. Throttle wide open like a bat out of hell. You crash the gates. Going for the back of beyond. Nothing gonna stop you, there's nothing that strong So close now you're nearly at the brink. So, push it.

The real hard part is when you reach the top and have to learn how to keep it. 

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valleynovascotia
19 hours ago, hitkid said:

The following comment will only work if you listen to this music while reading it.

Valley fucking Nova Scotia. I THOUGHT TAUGHT YOU DIFFERENTLY! I guess I am wrong.
 


Do you think it was worth it for me to travel 1,600 miles to see the weird HC moderator for the first time? 

OF COURSE IT WAS!

Now I've had this lovely girl dealing with my strange ass for more than a year. Hell, I even got the shits my first night staying at her place from some dope ass chicken she shared with me. 

If I didn't take a chance and get on that plane to a foreign land I wouldn't get to continuously blow ass around her for the past year!

I've told 15 people that I have herpes virtually all of them forgot. Why? I PUSHED IT TO THE FUCKING LIMIT THAT'S WHY. 

Life takes fucking bravery man. If you like this girl then you get the fuck up, throw some valtrax down your throat, arm yourself with some statistics, tell that girl like it ain't no fucking deal, let her say yes, strap on a condom, and FUCK LIKE YOU HAVE NEVER FUCKED BEFORE! 

What if she says no and tells? Well fuck her if she tells. Good people generally think people who are gossips are assholes. Fuck man, just deny it. Who gives a shit. If she's lame enough to tell to bring attention to herself like that, she's probably lame enough to lie about shit to bring her attention. Turn that shit on her and say she's saying that shit because you wouldn't sleep with her.

Or just fucking rep it man. 

So have her come to your place. Get a hot make out session going on and repeat after me:

I have to tell you something that's not a big deal to me, but might concern you. **Wait for reply**

I have herpes. 

YOU NEED TO DO THIS SO PUSH IT TO THE FUCKING LIMIT! 

Hit the wheel and double the stakes. Throttle wide open like a bat out of hell. You crash the gates. Going for the back of beyond. Nothing gonna stop you, there's nothing that strong So close now you're nearly at the brink. So, push it.

The real hard part is when you reach the top and have to learn how to keep it. 

Well said brother lol ... So I still havn't disclosed as sex hasnt come up however we did have a long intense non-sexual make out session at her place. She wants too take things slow so do i because the longer time I have before i disclose the more attached she'll get too me. She seems different then most girls chemistry is strong .between us and she seems crazy for me crazy enough too accept me time may tell if it gets too that point. 

 

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hitkid
1 hour ago, valleynovascotia said:

Well said brother lol ... So I still havn't disclosed as sex hasnt come up however we did have a long intense non-sexual make out session at her place. She wants too take things slow so do i because the longer time I have before i disclose the more attached she'll get too me. She seems different then most girls chemistry is strong .between us and she seems crazy for me crazy enough too accept me time may tell if it gets too that point. 


THIS IS WHAT I WANT TO HEAR! THIS IS EXACTLY THE SHIT I WANT TO HEAR! YOU CAN FUCKING DO THIS MAN! I'M ROOTING FOR YOU! KEEP GOING! DON'T WUSS OUT! 

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valleynovascotia
3 minutes ago, hitkid said:


THIS IS WHAT I WANT TO HEAR! THIS IS EXACTLY THE SHIT I WANT TO HEAR! YOU CAN FUCKING DO THIS MAN! I'M ROOTING FOR YOU! KEEP GOING! DON'T WUSS OUT! 

You are the man Hitkid!! 

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Quest

Say it in front of the mirror and keep saying it till ya look relaxed.

 :two_hearts: enjoy and have fun!

I myself would have a hard time doing it in front of a bunch of people that know me! I can do it one on one.

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Dutchy

Keep us posted:x and good luck. 

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valleynovascotia
11 hours ago, hitkid said:

@valleynovascotia status report. I want to hear solid news.

@hitkid She went too her moms for a week is coming back soon, in the meantime i'm working on a disclosure plan.

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valleynovascotia

Still trying to figure out a plan at this point it's starting too eat me up inside wanting too tell her trying too wait till it becomes sexual or before i mean. She says how i'm so mysterious how i don't have a girlfriend and that it's odd and she has to keep her guard up i wanted too tell her last night but i feel like once i tell her it's over. Im even starting too feel bad as shes calling me her man . It's a tough call because when you disclose too early that's all they see in you but when you wait it's tough too. Im going too tell her eventually shes young though in her early 20s I don't think shes going too accept me but ill i can do is try. 

Edited by valleynovascotia

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valleynovascotia

So I might have too disclose tonight I think she wants sex. What do you guys think should i try too put off sex and keep building the relationship or should I tell her tonight? I feel like once I tell her everything will be wrecked and it's going too feel like i'm getting my heart ripped out of my chest. I  guess that's what happens when you let a relationship build without telling them from the get go. 

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hellohello111

All you can do is try. Prepare for the worst, hope for the best. If she rejects you, there are plenty of others out there. If she’s the one, it’ll mean nothing to her. I’ve been married a long time and my wife has never batted an eye. Godspeed 

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Cas9
1 hour ago, valleynovascotia said:

So I might have too disclose tonight I think she wants sex. What do you guys think should i try too put off sex and keep building the relationship or should I tell her tonight? I feel like once I tell her everything will be wrecked and it's going too feel like i'm getting my heart ripped out of my chest. I  guess that's what happens when you let a relationship build without telling them from the get go. 

How many dates have you been on with her?

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valleynovascotia

Will werent really dates more hanging out at her place and around the building she has a kid so we cant really go far.

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valleynovascotia
1 hour ago, Cas9 said:

How many dates have you been on with her?

weve hung out a bunch of times.

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valleynovascotia

So I disclosed tonight were taking things slow but having lots of fun I was with her all night she thought nothing of the herpes. She is now my girlfriend. 

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Dutchy

Woohooo so happy for you! 

And very brave. Enjoy thé happy Moments with lots of love!!!:D

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Catgurl
21 hours ago, valleynovascotia said:

So I might have too disclose tonight I think she wants sex. What do you guys think should i try too put off sex and keep building the relationship or should I tell her tonight? I feel like once I tell her everything will be wrecked and it's going too feel like i'm getting my heart ripped out of my chest. I  guess that's what happens when you let a relationship build without telling them from the get go. 

I have been in the same position. It's really nerve racking but is totally worth a shot and u should disclose when you feel comfortable and compelled to I think! Also, jt makes you look more confident and mature than anything.  If I were in the girl's shoes i would admire your thoughtfulness and sincerity bc that is hard to come by these days. Just don't put too much pressure on yourself and try to relax and be comfortable.  I agree with @Quest 's advice. Say it out loud to yourself and repeat it as if it were a mantra so that it loses the weight and meaning...maybe idk 50 times? in front of mirror is a good idea too. Also I would  try not have expectations in mind read going into it what she will tgink/do. You have no control over that. Even when I faced rejections it hurt like a MF but I feel stronger and more confident and determined to put myself out there going forward. Just go for it and don't give up if things don't work out... but I feel like this girl seems to really like you and has gotten to know you as a person so maybe she will understand! Good luck! Get itttt!:D You deserve the best!

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