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Hard to Cope :(

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I got diagnosed with Genital HSV1 about a month ago. I still haven't gotten over the shock. I already deal with anxiety/depression and I am finding it very hard to cope.

I know everyone probably feels like this at the beginning. I hope it gets better and I can one day have a point of acceptance. For now though I sit here in tears and I don't know what to do.

I guess I have mixed emotions. Anger, frustration, depression. I feel extreme betrayal to the guy who gave me this. To top it off we have no contact and he is in denial that this happened. He doesn't believe that he could give me oral sex and I could get herpes. I guess I didn't know either which is why this happened!!!!!

I am mad at myself for sabotaging my current relationship. We had such high hopes and dreams and I know I fucked everything up. He doesn't have HSV, and since I have told him, he has kept his distance and I know things are going to be different now. Especially sexually.

When my bf and I broke up in August I met someone and was extremely vulnerable and just wanted to be loved. This man who claims he is unaware that he even had oral herpes performed oral sex on me, and we slept together once. When my bf and I got back together I got the great news. Talk about a damper on trying to work things out, and having a fresh start. Since then we haven't talked about it at all. He seems to be more in denial than I do.

I am just so upset that this happened. My life feels like it's falling apart. I made one of the worst decision in my life and now I have a constant reminder of it every day, every second! If I didn't sleep with the @$$hole I would have never been in this situation. My bf doesn't trust me anymore, and has no sexual desire or attraction towards me. Before all this we had a good sexual relationship.

I don't know... I am just having a hard time coping. I have so many questions yet nobody seems to know the answers. My Dr. just tells me to eat well, exercise and take Valtrex. She doesn't realize all the mental bullship that goes along with this.

Anyway... I hope I start to feel better soon, and my bf and I can work things out. I am devastated about what happened, and the choices I made.

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i have been where you are, although i'm a guy...it will get easier to accept over time.the hardest part i'm sure is the fact that this guy you got it from is in denial.i too was very uninformed of the risks of getting sti's and my luck ran out.keep your chin up and try to be positive,if the BF is truly the one for you, he will forgive the mistake and love you for you.:) hang in there we are all here to support you.

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I appreciate your response.

I guess my luck ran out too. You would think I would know the precautions considering I work in health care but I guess you just assume ppl will be honest and upfront with you. The guy who gave me this is still in denial and I feel sorry for other ppl he comes into contact with. He put a damper on my life, and I now have to deal with the consequences.

As for my current bf, we are in the process of working things out. He has been supportive, and with time, he seems to be forgiving me for my mistakes and last night we had a long talk about how we will now approach being intimate, the risks involved, etc. I gave him some info for him to understand and absorb. He actually handeled it better than I thought.

I think the biggest thing is working on trust.

Thanks again for your support! :)

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Try a Lysine supplement for cold sores

  • The Hive is Thriving!

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    • Ashia
      Hey there. Best thing to do is to go in and specifically ask for a herpes IgG blood test and a swab if you have any active sores / bumps present. That's the only way to know for certain. Your symptoms do not sound like the typical symptoms one would experience, but, each person experiences this virus differently. Best to get checked before assuming the worst. Best of luck to you! 
    • asian_gg
      Good question. I want to know the answer too. I apply Abreva to the infected area preventively and take multivitamin to boots up immunity. I am not sure how effective my method is but it is better than doing nothing I guess. 
    • honkschonks
      My assumption and ignorance of herpes was oozing puss filled blistering sores, pain and sickness. You get it by sleeping with whores and sketchy people. Boy was I wrong. I know this is long but hopefully some of you can relate. A week ago I woke up to small painless blisters on my penis out of nowhere. Never happened before. No pre-itching, no pre-tingling, no redness, no sick feelings, no pain, no discharge. I hadn’t slept with anyone in over a month, so wtf. The next morning they were gone, with cuts/sores left behind. They didn’t itch or hurt, only as much as a cut would. I left them alone. I went to a doctor and showed him a photo of the blisters (because they were already gone), he said looks like herpes. How could it be? No woman I’ve ever slept with in the past two years has mentioned it before, during or after me. I didn’t have one night stands. I had regular friends with benefits who could tell me. The doctor did a swab. I asked for a blood test and he said there’s no point. He was certain, so I went to another doctor. He looked at the photos and said it doesn’t look like herpes. I was confused. I asked for a blood test. He was hesitant, but I got an IGG. Now in the past couple years I have had some cuts between my buttcheeks. I always chalked it up to yeast or not wiping enough or too much. It always came out of nowhere, no sickness, no brutal pain, no ooozing puss filled blisters. I never went to a doctor about it. It was uncomfortable, but eventually went away after a week or two. I had assumed genital herpes meant penis, and I wasn’t having anal sex. On this very forum when I was doing research waiting for results, someone said I was being ridiculous thinking I have herpes with non-symptoms like these. Well, today I went in for my swab results. I’m still waiting for the IGG test, but the herpes culture came back positive for HSV2 isolated. The doctor is certain the IGG will come back positive. I’m not really sure how to deal with all this. Right now I feel like a leper, like damaged goods, but also if I’ve had this for years and had no idea until now, I also feel like it’s no big deal. Not a single person in the past two years has got it from me to my knowledge or were incredibly lucky to get a version that shows no symptoms. My concern is explaining that to people going forward who have my prior assumptions, and will not want me. One doctor told me I should for legal reasons go back a year and tell everyone I’ve been with. Another doctor said that’s not realistic. I didn’t have a major episode where I can pinpoint infection, so how far back should I go? I don’t have contact info for many of these people now. I’m not sure what to do. I have so much more to say. I look forward to talking to you all, and am happy this forum exists. Thanks for listening.  
    • MrKyGuy
      Thanks for the reply - I’ll try not to think about it and I’ll update in a couple weeks either way. 
    • Lumberjuanfifty
      Hello , I'm new to this page. Never though I'd sse so much support from people regarding this so called ( hsv) To be honest I dont even know what's wrong with me . I've tested negative in everything. So a little background, I had sex with a person months back. Then later I found out she was married, her husband calls me uo and says HEY MANUEL GO GET TESTED   I know you and my girl were going out behind me back. But in  reality i had no clue she was married only had sex once. But then after he called me i started seeing weird things going on down their. No burning or anything like that. But I do once in a while get a TINGLING SENSATION. AND LATELY IVE BEEN GETTING VERY TINY RED DOTS oN MY PENIS. when I'm fully erect it turns really red. But no sores or anything like that. The weirdest thing is  semen  feels very very thick. I've never ever experienced anything like that In My life. I'm scared to death to be honest. I cant sleeep nothing at all. It just feels very dry and red  whe erect. What could this possibly be???!!! I would post a picture but in very embarrassed. I'm 30 years old. Had one partner my sons mom for 15 years.  But iva had 2 partners aside from here since we broke up. In the last year. Plese anyone can help me out. I'm in full depress mode.

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