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climber_grl

Hard to Cope :(

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climber_grl

I got diagnosed with Genital HSV1 about a month ago. I still haven't gotten over the shock. I already deal with anxiety/depression and I am finding it very hard to cope.

I know everyone probably feels like this at the beginning. I hope it gets better and I can one day have a point of acceptance. For now though I sit here in tears and I don't know what to do.

I guess I have mixed emotions. Anger, frustration, depression. I feel extreme betrayal to the guy who gave me this. To top it off we have no contact and he is in denial that this happened. He doesn't believe that he could give me oral sex and I could get herpes. I guess I didn't know either which is why this happened!!!!!

I am mad at myself for sabotaging my current relationship. We had such high hopes and dreams and I know I fucked everything up. He doesn't have HSV, and since I have told him, he has kept his distance and I know things are going to be different now. Especially sexually.

When my bf and I broke up in August I met someone and was extremely vulnerable and just wanted to be loved. This man who claims he is unaware that he even had oral herpes performed oral sex on me, and we slept together once. When my bf and I got back together I got the great news. Talk about a damper on trying to work things out, and having a fresh start. Since then we haven't talked about it at all. He seems to be more in denial than I do.

I am just so upset that this happened. My life feels like it's falling apart. I made one of the worst decision in my life and now I have a constant reminder of it every day, every second! If I didn't sleep with the @$$hole I would have never been in this situation. My bf doesn't trust me anymore, and has no sexual desire or attraction towards me. Before all this we had a good sexual relationship.

I don't know... I am just having a hard time coping. I have so many questions yet nobody seems to know the answers. My Dr. just tells me to eat well, exercise and take Valtrex. She doesn't realize all the mental bullship that goes along with this.

Anyway... I hope I start to feel better soon, and my bf and I can work things out. I am devastated about what happened, and the choices I made.

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Stryker

i have been where you are, although i'm a guy...it will get easier to accept over time.the hardest part i'm sure is the fact that this guy you got it from is in denial.i too was very uninformed of the risks of getting sti's and my luck ran out.keep your chin up and try to be positive,if the BF is truly the one for you, he will forgive the mistake and love you for you.:) hang in there we are all here to support you.

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climber_grl

Thanks!

I appreciate your response.

I guess my luck ran out too. You would think I would know the precautions considering I work in health care but I guess you just assume ppl will be honest and upfront with you. The guy who gave me this is still in denial and I feel sorry for other ppl he comes into contact with. He put a damper on my life, and I now have to deal with the consequences.

As for my current bf, we are in the process of working things out. He has been supportive, and with time, he seems to be forgiving me for my mistakes and last night we had a long talk about how we will now approach being intimate, the risks involved, etc. I gave him some info for him to understand and absorb. He actually handeled it better than I thought.

I think the biggest thing is working on trust.

Thanks again for your support! :)

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