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KG303

Sex after being diagnosed. What was it like?

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KG303

I got diagnosed with hsv2 almost 2 months ago and I really thought I’d never be able to have sex again!! But it finally happened, and it was scary but then again I thought “wow, I’m so thankful someone would even want to do with with me after my diagnosis” and I cared about him and still love him so it meant a lot. He doesn’t have it but the fact that he even wants to consider an actual relationship with me just has me in awe. I legit almost cried cause I thought I was sworn to celibacy. We used protection of course and everything was great! I told one of my close friends since it was the first time since being diagnosed & she was disappointed :( thing is I don’t think I should let this stupid annoying disease take away my joy. I’m taking care of myself and made sure we took precautions and he knew the risks. But he’s someone who talks to me about kids and marriage and we were together for two years so he knows I’d do my best to not put him in harm. But idk my friend made me feel guilty about it but I don’t want to. I don’t think I need to put everything on hold just cause of H. I feel like it’s just a part of me but I lost all my friends because they thought it defined me. 

I also know it’s harder for women to give it to men. I made sure to learn my facts and he wasn’t scared of me or anything. It was a great night and finally made me feel normal. Should I start taking a daily antiviral? I’ve just been using lysine and vitamin c. If I did the antiviral could I stop that or should I keep on taking them? Obviously I don’t want to transmit it & protect my loved ones. Guy I got it from tried to say I didn’t get it from him and that he just now caught it about 2 weeks ago which is a lie because I was tested for it and fine before him. My friends think that’s the only person I should think about sleeping with and it’s not like he’s a horrible person, he just sleeps around with everyone and lied to my face and betrayed my trust and ended up giving it to me when I thought I was the only one. I think that just because we both have H, that doesn’t mean that he’s the one I need to automatically settle for. I’m a good girl and I deserve better than that and if he doesn’t stop he’ll catch something worse. I have tried to be there for him regardless of the fact that I know he gave it to me cause I know how bad it sucks when you first find out. And I do care about him. But I deserve better, H and all and it sucks that my friends don’t see it that way. Kinda wish I never told anyone about it cause they’re so judgmental and ignorant but telling them was my way of not letting it define me and educating others on how easily it could’ve happened to them. 

Just need some advice. My head really does me in sometimes thinking I’m a bad person for all of this but I would never willingly spread it. What should I be doing to prevent outbreaks and things with this relationship? Not thinking of NOT using condoms anytime soon, but if we’re in it long term and he’s ok with it I was wondering how transmission would look then. Thank y’all! 

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Lukeherpwalker

Relax its only cold sores. Take the antiviral and use condoms you very likely wont transmit 

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Dee22

Hi,

i felt the same way when I started dating after my diagnosis. I think ignore your friend. Yes i would feel really upset if i ever passed it on. But u were safe and disclosed to the guy and he knew the risks. It is a decision u made together and u have nothing to feel bad for. 

It is awful when we get this diagnosis ans feel like our lives are over , u deserve a happy relationship and sex life and have to continue living it is just a part of us now. 

D

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