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JasonS987

Just some thoughts

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JasonS987

So back in August I had a small “lesion” on my penis. I thought to myself “self, what the hell is on your penis?” I thought about it and basically came to the conclusion that between sex and masturbation I just kind of rubbed that small area raw. So we begin with the Vaseline and such in hopes that everything would dry up and heal. Sadly the area of the “lesion” was in a spot that when not aroused doesn’t get much air. So this area took a bit of time to heal, but heal it did, no discomfort, no pain, no blister looking things anywhere, really nothing worth noticing. Everything heals all is well and then all of a sudden in November I am sitting and feel an itch or tingling type of sensation in that same area. At the time I thought nothing of it, guys scratch themselves all the time so I figure hey I have an itch. But this itch was more of a pinch so it stayed on my mind and I remembered that it happened to be in the same area as before. I go home that night, and in the morning notice that the area is now irritated and starting to show signs of a lesion or pimple looking thing. At this point the panic light turned on and I started to wonder what the hell was wrong with me. This is when the massive amounts of internet research started to find out what was wrong with me.

Background on me is that I have been dating the same person for 11 months now. She has been tested, and when I say that I know there is no way to actually test for HSV unless you take a sample from an open sore or whatever, but the test they did on her came up negative. So here I am trying to figure out what happened to me. Now I am 33 years old and have had my share of sex. I remember every single person I had unprotected sex with and the reason I remember is because none of them were one night stands. If and when I had a one night stand or sex with someone who I didn’t know that well, condoms were used every time. That’s when I find out you can get HSV even when wearing a condom. Well la di frickin da! Maybe someone should put that shit on a fucking bumper sticker so people can be a little more aware of it! My whole life I have been preached to by countless people, “hey if you don’t want to get an STD wear a condom!” I’ve caught Chlamydia before, hell that shit is like the common cold, but I caught that from someone I had dated, we broke up, got together and had sex, then I find out while we were apart she had unprotected sex with some random guy. Nice…thanks. Whatever, I take the antibiotics and all is well. Her and I never have sex again. Still I ask, where the hell did I catch this shit? Then I read you can get HSV 2 from oral sex. Well well well, this changes things a bit because with all the protected sex I had, there is no telling how many times I had oral sex PRIOR to intercourse without a condom. Son of a bitch!

Ok so now I go get tested and while waiting for the results I am FREAKING OUT! Holy shit what if I got HSV 1 also? Holy shit what if I touch my penis and then flush the toilet, did I transfer the virus to the handle and now someone else will get it? Holy shit what if I don’t wash my hands good enough and happen to touch my eye or face, will I get breakouts there? Holy shit what if in the middle of the night while I am sleeping I happen to scratch myself or whatever and then without knowing it touch my face or other parts of my body, will it transfer there? All these questions are racing through my mind and the whole time I am PISSED! I want to know where I got this shit and I want to kill someone. Why the fuck did this happen to me? I have friends that have had way more sex than me WITHOUT condoms because they didn’t like the way they “feel” Did they get Herpes? Fuck no! Why me then? This is BULLSHIT I SAY! Ok I’m still waiting for results and finally come to the realization I have the virus, I just know it. It’s time to stop freaking out about it and start dealing with it. I start researching drugs to take and so on and begin to relax a bit. I have read on this forum of people saying they’re going to kill themselves and whatnot. Fuck that, why? Some of you may have been like me and not been a saint and hey it happened. Some of you may have very few sexual partners and some guy or girl gave it to you. Well to you I say I am sorry, but it’s NOT the end of the world. I say fuck it, I have it and it is a nuisance to say the least but ultimately it is my fault. I was the one who took the risks and now I am dealing with the results.

Ok so here I am, I am 33 years old, dating a wonderful girl who still wants to be with me and marry me and I have HSV 2. Am I a lucky one? Yes. I have someone who did not judge me or wonder if I was cheating on her (which I wasn’t) and still wants to be with me. To you others that are in a relationship and your partner stayed with you then consider yourself lucky also. They are there so be happy, don’t dwell on the fact you have HSV 2 and think they won’t find you attractive. If they didn’t they would leave so work with what you have. To the others I have to go by the advice everyone else says on here and make sure to tell your partner if you have HSV. If they are informed about the virus then it won’t matter, especially if they really like/love you.

Ok I’m done. I apologize for being long winded, bad grammar, and bad puncuation and I was in no way trying to give anyone advice or anything like that, just typing my feelings so I hope I didn’t upset anyone and if I did I am sorry.

Now I have a few questions and hope someone can help me answer them.

Can I have unprotected sex with my girlfriend when no lesions are present? If you can spread it with or without a condom what’s the point?

If I touch the area surrounding the lesion when one is present can I spread it to other parts of my body? What about when a lesion is NOT present?

Am I able to transfer the virus to a toilet handle or sink handle after say using the bathroom?

Those are a few and I am sure I will come up with some more as time goes on. Thanks in advance to those who answer and thanks to everyone else for their very informative/helpful/keep the faith/it’s not the end of the world if you have HSV posts.

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catiesmom
Well la di frickin da! Maybe someone should put that shit on a fucking bumper sticker so people can be a little more aware of it!

I love that!!!!! And i totally agree ;)

Now I have a few questions and hope someone can help me answer them.

Can I have unprotected sex with my girlfriend when no lesions are present? If you can spread it with or without a condom what’s the point?

If I touch the area surrounding the lesion when one is present can I spread it to other parts of my body? What about when a lesion is NOT present?

Am I able to transfer the virus to a toilet handle or sink handle after say using the bathroom?

I'll try my best. You can have unprotected sex with your girlfriend whenever you want, as long as she understands the risk involved. Having sex while having an outbreak is a good way to transfer the virus. You are most contagious just before, during, and for about a week or two after a breakout. Otherwise, you're contagious about 4% of the time (what we believe to be the frequency of asymptomatic shedding). Therefore, if you have unprotected sex with your girlfriend, she needs to realize that you have a 4% chance of transmitting, even when you're not having an OB. And of course, you already know condoms don't protect one fully from the virus. There are other things you can do to help though - like advising her to wash well just after having sex, avoiding relations when either of you are run down or ill (weakening your immune system and thereby providing the virus an easier pathway), and of course avoiding sex while experiencing an outbreak.

As for autoinnoculation, after your first outbreak it's not nearly as common, although with HSV we really can't say "never" to anything. If you wash your hands regularly, ESPECIALLY when you're having an OB, it really shouldn't be a problem. Your body will build antibodies to the virus, and those should help protect you from infecting yourself in other locations.

As for inanimate objects, the general rule is no, you can't transmit to someone that way. The virus can only live in an environment devoid of oxygen, and dies relatively quickly when exposed to the air. Therefore, if you touch the toilet handle and someone comes in after you to use the bathroom, there should have been enough time for the virus to die, if any happened to transfer to the handle. There are some people here who won't reuse towels, because they're afraid the wet, dense environment might allow the virus to live a bit longer, but i don't know of anyone who actually infected themselves or anyone else that way.

Hope that helped answer some of your questions.

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JasonS987

Thanks very much for answering those questions for me. As usual the information contained on this site is fantastic.

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Shayna

Hi there JasonS987,

Catiesmom answered your questions well!

But I just had to tell you I loved they way you expressed yourself!

For a not so pleasant subject you are funny as hell and you have a good attitude on life!

That was soooo refreshing! Thank you.

ps... Love the bumper sticker idea (though I won't be sporting one on my car) :shock:

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Claudia

Gotta say I loved this post. Great attitude and entertaining to read!

Claudia

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