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ReallySad

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ReallySad

Sorry have posted this elsewhere but couldn't see how to move it.

I'm so embarrassed about this situation and very down in the dumps for lots of reasons.

I have been very promiscuous over the last few years, meeting other men for brief one-off sexual encounters. Initially mutual masturbation, then mutual oral. After one oral experience I developed an itching in my urethra then subsequently a cloudy fluid discharge. I went to a clinic and was found to be negative for clam. gon. syph. Hiv etc. but was told I definitely did have since kind of bacterial infection. I was put on a course of Doxycycline, which worked quickly, however I have never felt things in my groin have been quite right since.  After this experience, I didn't allow anyone to perform oral sex on me, and instead I would normally perform oral on someone else.

Since then, I've noticed that my seminal fluid hasn't been the same as it used to be. It's somewhat stretchier and can go webbed. It tends to stick to my glans sometimes making it hard to properly shake urine from my penis.  I wondered if I hadn't totally cleared the infection, or if I had got prostatitis.  I felt comfortable suggesting this to my GP without going into the detail of my sexual history, or visit to the clinic.  I was prescribed Cipro for a month. I did feel that it might have helped a little but its main effect was too give me a bad gut, maybe antibiotic colitis. 

Subsequently after another encounter well over a year ago, I found that I had public lice. I treated this myself successfully with permetherin. Since then I have on occasion felt a sensation of insects crawling on my skin. It is not confined to any particular part of my body, but it's most noticeable to me on my face, arms, fingers and toes.  

Following an encounter in February, this insect feeling became near constant. I also noticed some spots were appearing on my body in unusual places. My thighs, trunk, face, back of neck and chest. They looked just like ordinary 'zits', appeared singly and did not itch, burn or tingle. They stayed present for over a month usually and left a bit of a scar where they had been.  I researched online and thought I had perhaps acquired a skin infection of some kind.  Again, feeling comfortable suggesting this to my GP.  I have visited my GP twice about this. On the first occasion the antibiotics appeared not to make any difference. On the second, I we prescribed Doxycycline and most of the spots went away.

Spots returned to my back and shoulders about two to three months ago. They are very long lasting.

Since I got the spots I have noticed two very small flesh coloured bumps on the glans near the tip of my penis.  They do not itch out burn, and they have not changed size or shape since I noticed them near the start of the year. I have applied clotrimazole often but they have not gone away.

I read online that sometimes skin complaints can be treated using antidandruff shampoo, so I recently washed my entire body with it. I did this twice or three times maybe, leaving the shampoo on myself for several minutes. Following a brief encounter with someone a few days ago I noticed that I had developed small skin colored bumps on the shaft of my penis (see photo).  They are not blistered, have no fluid in them, and I think they appeared quickly.  I am very very worried that these bumps are either herpes or HPV, and that the near constant feeling of insects I experience is some kind of prodromal symptom. 

Since these bumps appeared, I have also been feeling a dull ache in my scrotum and towards the top of my penis.  I accept that the ache and the crawling feeling may also be psychological and due to my incredibly high levels of anxiety about both what could be wrong with me, and about my terrible and disgusting behaviour.

I am at my wit's end worrying and have been having dreadful dark thoughts often because I'm so unhappy about myself, how naive I have been and continue to be. I really want to get my compulsion under control but I find it so difficult.  

I'm going to go to see my doctor but am so extremely ashamed to tell the full story, in not sure that I can.  

The reason I'm posting this message is to find out whether anyone with why experience here can look at the photograph and give me a view on what the bumps on my penis are.  I have tried putting both Acyclovir and and an emollient cream on over the past few days. Sometimes I feel the moisturiser is improving things but I'm not sure. I'm hoping I have simply damaged my skin with shampoo. 

I feel like an awful person and an idiot.

 

https://imgur.com/OcuLaPM

Edited by ReallySad
Typo

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