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The Mildest Of Symptoms

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My assumption of herpes was big oozing puss filled blistering sores, pain and sickness. You get it by sleeping with whores and sketchy people. Boy was I wrong.

A week ago I woke up to small painless blisters on my penis out of nowhere. Never happened before. No pre-itching, no pre-tingling, no redness, no sickness, no pain, no discharge. I hadn’t slept with anyone in over a month. The next morning they were gone, cuts/sores left behind. They didn’t itch or hurt. I went to a doctor and showed him a photo of the blisters I had had, he said herpes. How could it be? No woman I’ve slept with in two years had symptoms before, during or after me. That I know of. The doctor did a swab. I asked for a blood test, he said there’s no point. I went to another doctor. He looked at the photos and said it doesn’t look like herpes. I was confused. I demanded a blood test. He was hesitant, but I got an IGG.

In the past couple years I have had some cuts between my buttcheeks. I always chalked it up to yeast or not wiping enough or too much. I had a case of ballanitis on holiday. I thought it was related. It always came out of nowhere, no sickness, no brutal pain, no ooozing puss filled blisters. I never went to a doctor about it. It was uncomfortable, but eventually went away after a week or two. I had assumed genital meant penis, and I wasn’t having anal sex. On this very forum when I was doing research waiting for results, someone said I was being ridiculous thinking I have herpes with non-symptoms like these.

Well, today I got my swab results. I’m still waiting for the IGG test, but the herpes culture came back positive for HSV2. The doctor is certain the IGG will come back positive.

I’m not really sure how to deal with all this. I feel like damaged goods, I want to hide, but also if I’ve had this for years and had no idea, it feels like it’s not the end, life goes on. I’m conflicted. 

I look forward to talking to you all, and am happy this forum exists. Thanks for listening.


Edited by honkschonks

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Sorry you found out you were positive man. I feel the same way as you, I know what my symptoms are and how they are really no big deal at all and I feel okay about everything but then I also think back to before I contracted this and what my thoughts about it were and how most people I know have the same misguided ideas.

Have you told anyone in person? The only person who knows I have this is my roommate. I haven’t told anyone else yet, I’m worried about people judging me or thinking differently of me after hearing I have this. 

What I have learned about this is that stress definitely makes it come out. I had my first outbreak that lasted about 4 weeks to completely heal. Maybe a day or 2 after I had been stressing about what if I had HIV as well? I was only tested for HSV so I wasn’t sure. I was having super bad anxiety about it, waking up in the middle of the night, etc. I felt the classic “tingle” symptom one day and sure enough the next day I had another outbreak. Luckily I went and got tested and I’m negative for all other STDs. And also luckily this outbreak went away in about a week this time. So I am seeing it does get better and I’m learning more about what I have. I think it’s just going to take time. Something else that helped a lot was when I went in and got that second STD test done with my primary doctor and I told her I had tested positive for herpes she acted like it was no big deal. So maybe other people will feel that way as well

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Perhaps some of the best advice I received a couple of years back was that even if you do have herpes, it doesn’t mean that everything going on downstairs IS herpes. Blisters on your penis, probably herpes. Cuts in your buttcrack, maybe-maybe not. 

You’re not damaged goods, you’re now in the majority of the population which had some form of HSV. Your confidence, honesty and being a good partner will determine how your life moves forward, even if that’s hard to believe now. There will be rejection, oftentimes because of lack of education, and sometimes because not everyone wants to take that risk. That’s ok, people are turned down for all sorts of reasons, that’s just life. It’s ok to be bummed out, but herpes isn’t the end all be all.

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@Anon222 I told the women I have slept with most recently. She’s been a regular partner who has had zero symptoms. She’s going to get tested. She’s the most level headed person I know and a good friend. One doctor told me for legal reasons to tell everyone in the past year that I have it. Another doctor said that’s unrealistic and pointless. I have no idea when it started as I had no major undoubtable outbreak, so going back a year may be too far, it may not be far enough. I’m not sure what to do.

It has irritated me how casual doctors are about this. It won’t kill you but The emotional effect of knowing you have it or thinking you may have it seems to be more damaging than having it. People on here talking about suicide. I guess that’s why they don’t test for it, or it just got out of hand and there’s no going back.

Strangely I haven’t been that stressed about it. Luckily I’ve been very busy working so I haven’t had time worry about it.

Thanks @NY12345 for your thoughts.

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Sounds like you’re doing the right thing to me by telling your most recent partner. A year seems like a lot to me I’d agree with the second doctor. And you may get your IgG test back and find out it’s more recent than you think, I’d wait for that. This virus is very confusing in my limited experience with it. 

I do agree with you that I wish this was taken more seriously. I honestly think if it was just tested for in regular STD panels that would help ease the stigma. If as many people realized that they had this as the numbers claim there to be maybe people would realize it’s not such a big deal after all. But when only 15% of the people have it actually realize they do I feel like it’s more damaging. 

Glad you’re not feeling to bad about it man. Definitely keep us updated! 

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