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helpme12345

question since i am so confused

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helpme12345
Hello everyone, 
I know i posted this once before but i am still searching for answers.
I am curious to know what is going on with me. I tested positive for hsv1 about a year ago when i went in for a std check just cuz i was curious, which is no big deal. My docs and I believe it to be oral and i dont think my body is that amazing at suppressing this either if i did have it in the genitals since im also a chain smoker (my immune system sucks), and when i was a kid i remember having sores in my mouth that burned and stung like crazy. Also my family gets cold sores every once in a while. But something odd happened and im just curious. my gf and i are doing long distance. she came to visit me for a week in aug where we basically had sex everyday, twice a day. oral, vaginal and anal, all unprotected. Please dont try to convince me that my gf is also cheating. 

Anyways, a little after she left back in august i switched to E-ciggs and have been smoking that a lot to the point where i had cotton mouth and dehydration. When i pee in the morning it would hurt a bit, nothing crazy, mostly since pee is concentrated in the morning. A week later while playing computer games, it was really hot and humid and i had an itch on my scrotum. I guess i was really frustrated i lost the game so i took it out on my itch by pulling the skin through my boxers and i was left with an abrasion that my doctor took a look at the very next day. My doctor told me it was a simple abrasion and if more pop up or doesnt heal within a few days then come back. well, in about 2 to 3 days it healed up with no scab. 

After two weeks and still having some burning urination, i still masturbated thinking it was nothing. While masturbating I guess i didnt want to finish and i squeezed my penis while it was on the verge of ejaculating and my cum went up and down and then i shot. It left this throbbing feeling in my urethra, and again thought nothing of it and went to sleep. The very next day my urethra was super itchy, it was for a few days until i had white discharge. Got seen by a urologist and my test came out as negative, nothing and said it was NGU. could i have just damaged my urethra from this since i find it too good to be true that whatever it is would choose to come out on the day after i damaged my urethra. 

I asked my gf to take an std test and she did. She was positive for HSV 1 IGG and also had BV ( common in women), ureaplasma urealyticum, and mycoplasma hominis. Her last bf she broke up with in may 2017 and we started dating in december. she didnt fool around with anyone when she was single. I also found out through some research and my urologist that it can  cause ngu and rarely/uncommon for ngu to be caused by herpes and i dont think it was in my urethra otherwise i would be in extreme pain. I also had Ureaplasma U back when i was in Korea and took two weeks of doxcy. my urologist gave me 7 days of doxy, while taking the doxcy it took about four to five days for my symptoms to clear up, but i still had some burning urination. I also still dry masturbated and felt some friction burns under the helmet of my penis next and thought nothing of it and took a shower. I used this exfoliating soap by dove that contained micro beads( at the time i didnt know), lathered it in my hands and washed my penis with it, which afterwards my penis helmet was pink and had some bumps and a cool burning sensation. This was gone the next day after flushing it with cold water. But stupid me i kept masturbating and it really irritated my penis. I feel like the soap stripped my penis of its natural oils and dried out my skin. But somehow i didnt feel like the doctors were helping me. So after a full blood test for HIV, HSV 1 & 2 IGG, hep B, C, and syphilis, all negative except hsv 1, after 6 weeks. and seeing 5 general doctors, PCP, and 2 urologists that tell me im fine and its friction burn and burst blood vessels under the helmet of my penis, which are called petechiae( not too sure), im going nuts. Im hyper aware of every little movement thats going on down there and its driving me crazy. Also i used this lube from tenga (sex toy company) and a fleshlight so i dont dry masturbate and it seemed to have made it worse. does any of this or these symptoms say i have ghsv1? I do have some burning every now and then and some pee that hurts every now and then, (still didnt give my penis a break from masturbating btw) but i dont know if this is all in my head or just something else. My doctor and a friend who has hsv tell me you would definitely know if you have it in your urethra and herpes arent going to stay teeny tiny there going to swell and cluster. I also am fully aware of some of the symptoms hsv cuz of a scare that happened a few years ago and i did some crazy research and went to about 12 different doctors, which ended with i just tore some skin off my penis while pulling off the condom. Could these broken blood vessels be the cause of my burning sensation near the tip of my urethra or under the glans? does herpes have pain for a few hrs and no pain for a few hrs?  cant seem to pin point where the actual pain is coming from. Is this contact dermatitis or allergic? also the glans of my penis seem to be pretty red, or from what i see but my doctors say im fine. please help me, its driving me insane. 
 
just to add, i didnt have flu symptoms, no initial out break ever or so i recall, maybe a pimple or two in my pubic hair area, which actually looked like a pimple and went away in a week. i was cold but not to the point where i was shivering, i guess its due to my anxiety and stress and i check my penis like every day or so, did have back pain in my buttocks and behind my knee, but i sit in this cross leg position dont want to be sexist but how usually women sit with there legs crossed, for hrs. also no blisters or sores other than that one abrasion which healed up and never came back and broken blood vessels that look like red dots examined by the doctor, i mean its tiny tiny purple dots. Sorry, one more thing i also did a urethra swab but apparently the doctor who did it, said it was the wrong one after a few days, but by then i didnt have symptoms since the doxcy cleared it up. that urethra swab was extremely painful and pee that came afterwards was nothing ive felt before. it was worse than breaking your collar bone. 
Male in my late 20s.
 
update:
i still feel pain in my urethra whenever i piss, but i dont drink a lot of water. my penis skin is really dry. i have this white coating. my doctors think im okay and i should lay off the dry masturbation. I have weird pain here and there. AM I GOING CRAZY? like wtf is going on with me? please help. thank you. 
 

thanks guys!
Edited by helpme12345

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Bhbr2018

I don’t understand this post. You seem highly concerned of having herpes for someone who already tested positive for herpes. Your girlfriend has tested positive for herpes. What more is there to freak out about? Blood tests do not tell you location, are you worried if you break up how you will handle disclosure To someone else? That’s where I’m getting confused. 

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helpme12345

I know blood test doesn't tell location. I know i have it orally since i had it as a child but i dont have any breakouts at all, the last breakout i remember was inside my lips when i was a kid. Like me my friends and my gf we are all asymptomatic orally. im just worried if the above mention symptoms say i have ghsv1?  and about disclosure im happy to tell. im not scared of it im just worried if i got it in the genitals, although all my doctors say im fine.

Edited by helpme12345

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