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GHSV1+ Folks how is your sex life ?

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I am curious to know how you guys with ghsv1 are dealing with negative sexual partners? do you take antivirals? how has disclosure been? have you spread it genitally before?


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It has survived, but taken quite a hit. My wife and I use condoms now exclusively, she does not touch the one area on the shaft where I have continually had pain for 6 months. I do not take any antivirals, but I use some herbals to keep my immune system strong. This seems to reduce my pain.

The idea of having children is affected by this, and being in my late twenties that was the reason for having sex. It really puts a strain on the relationship.

However we still have sex a few times per week.

Occasionally I will opt-out of sex because the nerve pain is too bothersome and sex usually irritates it worse for the following day.

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I got GHSV1 in August. I had a very minor initial outbreak. I could see how people could have an outbreak and not realize what it was based on my own experience. I haven't had any symptoms since. I was really depressed and didn't know how to handle it going forward. I got it from a random unprotected hookup (thanks Tinder) and I'm honestly not sure if I got it from oral or vaginal sex.

After being super depressed for a few months, I went back to app dating to test the waters. I've slept with several girls since and just used condoms, though I have received some unprotected oral. No antivirals. In every case, I've known from the jump that I didn't want a relationship with these girls and they were generally upfront that they were seeing multiple people anyways. They can get HSV1 from kissing someone, sharing a drink, someone going down on them, all things that people do without even thinking about, so if I'm wearing a condom I just don't feel obligated to say something, especially since there's at least a 50/50 chance they already have it.

Honestly, I still think about it a lot, but it doesn't feel like I even have it, though I know I do. My sister contracted GHSV1 5 years ago, had a classic painful presentation on her first outbreak and then never had another one. As far as they know, her husband has never contracted it from her and they don't use condoms, though she says they don't have sex much. (She got it from cheating).

My big fear is that I'm going to meet a girl that I really like and I'll be afraid to tell her. Honestly, people sleep together so quickly that it's almost hard to get to know someone well enough to feel comfortable telling them before you sleep together! GHSV1 is really misunderstood so there's a good chance they'll freak out if you tell them after you've already been sleeping together. And the truth is, I really don't enjoy sex with condoms past the first time or two. I don't know how that's going to go. Even if a girl doesn't have a problem with it, if she wants me to wear condoms forever in the relationship, I can't seem myself enjoying that much. I just keep putting it off because I can't even meet a girl that I like enough to have an actual relationship with.

Sorry for being long-winded.

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      Hey @WilsoInAus   Thank you for your reply, we live in north America, she did the test here in Canada, I will attach a copy of the test below. I understand your point of view but its hard for me to cope with this. I never thought this would happen to me which I m sure most people feel the same.  yes I did took vows for better or worst but I feel those vows are for whatever happens after marriage not because of something happened in the past.  i feel like this is something that is going to remind me of her past for the rest of my life. its not easy for me to look past that.   
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