Jump to content
World's Largest Herpes Support Group
Sign in to follow this  
bowiefan003

Worried about my much older, immunocompromised partner

Recommended Posts

bowiefan003

I have been chatting with a man from England for over three years now. We are madly in love and plan to meet soon. All of our fantasies are built upon the idea of getting married and having a baby (call it premature but he is in his early 50's and I am inching to 30 so I guess its somewhat appropriate timing). I can't help this underlying paranoia I have regarding my condition. He has three main issues going against him:

1) He is European meaning he will not have as strong of an immune defense against HSV2 (rates in the UK are much less than in America)

2) He is likely immunocompromised and gets lots of HSV1 outbreaks as is

3) He is much older - and from what I understand the consequences of getting HSV2 in older age can be much more serious

The latter part is what I'm most concerned about. What if we can only make love a handful of times only to see my partner's life destroyed and both of us unable to express our love for each other through sex? He knows I am HSV2+. My concern is that he seems immunocompromised largely in part due to a sleeping disorder he has had a result of PTSD. When he doesn't get enough sleep he is more prone to seizures and colds and comments regularly that he gets a ton of cold sores. This SERIOUSLY concerns me. Will we ever be able to have sex without condoms? The idea of not being able to makes me feel like damaged goods, unable to enjoy sex to the full extent with the person I love and unable to have a baby. I've mentioned my concerns over him being immunocompromised and how he should maybe talk to his doctor in regards to the possible consequences of infection but he always downplays his concerns. We continue to fantasize (when you are in a long distance relationship you need to know how to fantasize) about bareback sex and all that it entails..) but never really talk about the logistics of it. Maybe I am overthinking of it but hoping to get some insight from others that may have an older and/or immunocompromised partner or if you yourself got it at an older age. Suggestions to tame my latent worries? I don't really want to talk to him about it more than I have to aside from supporting him in leading a healthy lifestyle (an ongoing mutual goal).

Edited by bowiefan003

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
WilsoInAus

I think the first step is to get a Westernblot to confirm what you have, good to assess risks with relationships and having children.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  



  • Donate

    If Honeycomb has helped you, please help us by making a donation so we can provide you with even better features and services.

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
      70,309
    • Total Posts
      475,365
  • 0_unsure-if-it-is-herpes.png

    Unsure if you have an STD?
    Get started with testing options here

  • Posts

    • balb9
      Have you received any clarification on these signs and symptoms? I have been experiencing the same thing with the nerve pain in the same approximate locations and was wondering if you had found anything out about it being related to HSV-2?
    • hobson
      Hi all  thanks for getting back to me. I had a swab and it came back negative . But I’m still not convinced. I’m gonna see a specialist I think . I’ve taken photos and to me there look like scabs healing.    I am now freaking out more because I have started a new relationship and the other day she broke out in 3 cold sores. She said this is the first time this has happened. I feel ashamed I may have given this to her . I have spoken to her and told her my fears and this may have now ruined my relationship.  I don’t know if it’s ok to share pictures on here but if it’s ok I would like to do this and get peoples thoughts 
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @K1009 I can report that this is entirely consistent with a recent infection. Your body can take a few months to generate and stabilise the immune responses. The outbreaks can be a bit unrelenting during this period. Your body will get in top of it. Is this a genital outbreak from oral sex?
    • Api8519
      Hi im looking for friends or patners, im 33 male, from indonesia.. I like u share my social media id with u if u want to know me more. Im good looking.. Im divorce
    • Cas9
      @HC-Support-Team
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.