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KG303

I tried , I give up

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KG303

I try to help people who just got diagnosed. I try to be a good friend a good student a good granddaughter but what’s the point in trying if it doesn’t work. 

Lol I don’t deserve this. I’m 21 and I’ve slept with 4 people, all of whom I loved and trusted. Me and my ex had sex, he got freaked out so that didn’t work. My giver doesn’t believe he gave it to me but he did and is saying that he just got it. Lol yeah right. For humanity’s safety (lol) I somehow got the idea that even though he’s a piece of shit maybe it’s just better to see if he still wants to have sex, cuz I have needs too, herpes and all. I just didn’t want to risk ever giving it to anyone after what happened with my ex, although condoms and antivirals were used. SO HE’S NOT MESSAGING ME BACK BUT HE CAN STILL GO OUT AND PARTY AND PROBABLY SPREAD THE SHIT TO MORE INNOCENT VICTIMS OR GET SOMETHING WORSE. 

i tried, actually TRIED so hard to convince myself it wasn’t my fault. Me and my ex are friends so I told him about the situatuon and he blocked me LOL. He acted like he wanted to get back together, but I know he’d Just freak out again. We were still friends and he told me he cared about me and would be there. I’m drunk and upset so I needed someone. So maybe it all is my fault. Maybe I’m just a dumbass cuz shouldn’t I have known better? I can’t control getting cheated on (how I got this #1) or being lied to (how I got this #2). So yeah I think it’s my fault. And there’s such an emphasis on “don’t get pregnant it’ll ruin your life” how about “don’t catch an std it’ll ruin your life”. He gave me THREE. I cut ties completely then turn around and find out he gave me herpes. I GIVE UP. Never meant anything to anyone so yeah it’s my fault for trusting the wrong people. I give up I give up I give up. 

Only reason I’m alive right now is cuz of nursing school. Cuz I want to help other people. Cuz I want to make my granny proud. Lol considering how much the universe hates me I’ll probably fuck that up too. 

So I give up and I’m so done with this site and so done with getting my hopes up for a cure when nobody even cares about getting us one. “It’s not a big deal” tell that to my depression. 

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seanriley213

hey that's not true....there's a lot more to you life than what it seems right now, yeah you may have made mistakes but it wasn't your fault and besides you're not alone remember. I only went clubbing with friends and got drunk in the process and ended up having sex with a stranger and now I wish something bad had happened to me that day to have prevented me from going to that club maybe a broken leg, a police arrest or anything but I can't change it, the did's been done I just have to learn how to leave with myself like this and I believe you can do even better. You've got a bright future ahead of you, yes you've got limitations now but its only limitation not a hindrance. I don't know you but I try to see you through your post and guess what, you are sweet, you are awesome, you are great and most of all you have a good heart. That's what matters the most. Don't let your circumstance define who you are, let who you are define your circumstance. 

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Roja

Hi KG303, 

Quote

Never meant anything to anyone so yeah it’s my fault for trusting the wrong people. I give up I give up I give up. 

every mistake we make in our life helps us to learn. You are aware of your mistakes, not it's time to change!

I think there is so much guilt connected with herpes. We feel like bad people, sluts (especially as girls), dirty. But why? Because we had sex? Because we have needs? 

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seanriley213
5 minutes ago, Roja said:

Hi KG303, 

every mistake we make in our life helps us to learn. You are aware of your mistakes, not it's time to change!

I think there is so much guilt connected with herpes. We feel like bad people, sluts (especially as girls), dirty. But why? Because we had sex? Because we have needs? 

Its not just on girls my dear, everyone has needs and when it happens even girls start giving you attitude you least expected, everyone be running away like you're some kind of scary monster but the moment you begin to realize your life is not based on what people think or say that day you begin to live not just exist.

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Roja

Hi seanriley213

You're right. However, I think that having various partners as man is seen less problematic that having various partners as a woman (he is the hero, she is the !*@*). But different topic I guess. 

Quote

everyone be running away like you're some kind of scary monster 

That is not true. Not everyone is running away. I met men who had absolutely no problem with it at all. 

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seanriley213

Maybe its because you're a girl, you see...those are part of benefit we seem not to get as guys 

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KG303
On 11/2/2018 at 7:41 AM, seanriley213 said:

hey that's not true....there's a lot more to you life than what it seems right now, yeah you may have made mistakes but it wasn't your fault and besides you're not alone remember. I only went clubbing with friends and got drunk in the process and ended up having sex with a stranger and now I wish something bad had happened to me that day to have prevented me from going to that club maybe a broken leg, a police arrest or anything but I can't change it, the did's been done I just have to learn how to leave with myself like this and I believe you can do even better. You've got a bright future ahead of you, yes you've got limitations now but its only limitation not a hindrance. I don't know you but I try to see you through your post and guess what, you are sweet, you are awesome, you are great and most of all you have a good heart. That's what matters the most. Don't let your circumstance define who you are, let who you are define your circumstance. 

This was so sweet. I really appreciate it. You have a bright future ahead of you too, likewise. I just go through periods where I’m fine with it and then I’m not. Hopefully things will get better for us ❤️

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seanriley213
On 11/3/2018 at 1:24 PM, KG303 said:

This was so sweet. I really appreciate it. You have a bright future ahead of you too, likewise. I just go through periods where I’m fine with it and then I’m not. Hopefully things will get better for us ❤️

yeah, it will someday.

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Hopefloats30

I play the it was his fault/ my fault game all of the time. Reality though... It was mine. This mistake is always going to be on me. I chose to have sex plain and simple. God told me to live one way ... Sex is between husband and wife.. I chose to not live that way and slept with men whom I was not married to and now I must live with the choices I made. It's not the guys fault for ingaging in what I chose ... But God forgives me and now better late then never, I can change the way I live my life and go down a better path. I am choosing to live for myself and for god and create a happy life for myself and in time he will bring the right man in my life. 

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Cas9
26 minutes ago, Hopefloats30 said:

I play the it was his fault/ my fault game all of the time. Reality though... It was mine. This mistake is always going to be on me. I chose to have sex plain and simple. God told me to live one way ... Sex is between husband and wife.. I chose to not live that way and slept with men whom I was not married to and now I must live with the choices I made. It's not the guys fault for ingaging in what I chose ... But God forgives me and now better late then never, I can change the way I live my life and go down a better path. I am choosing to live for myself and for god and create a happy life for myself and in time he will bring the right man in my life. 

An infected spouse can give their partner herpes. It has nothing to do with sex between husband and wife only.

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Hopefloats30
1 minute ago, Cas9 said:

An infected spouse can give their partner herpes. It has nothing to do with sex between husband and wife only.

I know that of course... But it less likely if both have not had prior sexual partners. 

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cowpoke02

stay away from doxy penicillin it kills you off .  horrific . maybe one pill a couple times ...   hey don't get down ..  just getting started ..  herpies rain is almost over ... number one you feed it  wit your mouth .. eat less ..  few tricks be okay .. most people just get it and it goes away for a long time no big deal .  usually gets better over time . less and less.   

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Skrillah80

Yoo cowpoke..Soo it's been 2 months since I had this virus and no outbreaks? Was I suppose to get a OB by now? I got tested did a blood test they said I was hsv positive 2..Wilson telling me he thinks I don't even have it?? I should get a herpes select test?? Still waiting on them apricot seeds..let me know what u think

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GotMeAtLast
12 minutes ago, Skrillah80 said:

Yoo cowpoke..Soo it's been 2 months since I had this virus and no outbreaks? Was I suppose to get a OB by now? I got tested did a blood test they said I was hsv positive 2..Wilson telling me he thinks I don't even have it?? I should get a herpes select test?? Still waiting on them apricot seeds..let me know what u think

I had it for 6 years before I had my first OB. I dated a girl who told me about it after we broke up.

I went and got tested for ghsv1. Came back positive, but it did not phase me, as I did not understand it till last year when I had my first OB. Man did it hurt!

My first year was the worst. Back to back non-stop OBs. Now I manage to go 2 months without and OB's. I would love to see 3 or even 4 months free of OB's.

Edited by GotMeAtLast

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Skrillah80

Wow!! Was the first outbreak painful after 6 years??

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GotMeAtLast
3 minutes ago, Skrillah80 said:

Wow!! Was the first outbreak painful after 6 years??

Yes. It was painful to walk. Hated to get up and go to the bathroom. It would last for 2 weeks before it started to heal and then bam, got it again. That was my life for the first year. Now I can start to heal after 3 or 4 days and it's not as painful now. Still bites non the less...

Edited by GotMeAtLast

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Skrillah80

Wow!! Well it's been 2 months for me now and no outbreaks..

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WilsoInAus
2 minutes ago, GotMeAtLast said:

Yes. It was painful to walk. Hated to get up and go to the bathroom. It would last for 2 weeks before it started to heal and then bam, got it again. That was my life for the first year. Now I can start to heal after 3 or 4 days and it's not painful now. Still bites non the less...

Did you ever find out what it was?

You still don’t test positive for herpes. C’mon man, we will all support you in your quest for truth.

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GotMeAtLast

Enjoy it. You may be one of the lucky ones who may not get systems. Count your blessings if a cure comes out before you do get them.

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WilsoInAus
1 minute ago, Skrillah80 said:

Wow!! Well it's been 2 months for me now and no outbreaks..

That’s because you may not have genital herpes.

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GotMeAtLast
2 minutes ago, WilsoInAus said:

Did you ever find out what it was?

You still don’t test positive for herpes. C’mon man, we will all support you in your quest for truth.

Yes it was wilsoninaus in my ass. I hear there is no cure for this and you are still a tool and an imbecile. It's funny how my doc said I was positive for ghsv1. Thing is I don't recall your ass being there.

Edited by GotMeAtLast

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WilsoInAus
1 minute ago, GotMeAtLast said:

Yes it was wilsoninaus in my ass. I hear there is no cure for this and you are still a tool and an imbecile.

Doesn’t matter, at least we are brave enough to test, curious enough to seek answers and responsible enough to care for our bodies.

YOU can too! A simple walk and request herpes testing from your doctor.

These are your first steps to a better life, one not ruled by fear.

You’ve got this!

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GotMeAtLast
1 minute ago, WilsoInAus said:

Doesn’t matter, at least we are brave enough to test, curious enough to seek answers and responsible enough to care for our bodies.

YOU can too! A simple walk and request herpes testing from your doctor.

These are your first steps to a better life, one not ruled by fear.

You’ve got this!

Wow you really cannot read. How many times do I need to tell you that I was tested.

Please stop trolling me and go back to playing legos in your mom's basement.

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WilsoInAus
6 minutes ago, GotMeAtLast said:

Wow you really cannot read. How many times do I need to tell you that I was tested.

Please stop trolling me and go back to playing legos in your mom's basement.

Then believe your test man. Great news, but what was your condition?

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