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cp073025

Relationship I told her

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cp073025

I have been living with heroes now for 2 years, my initial outbreak was extremely mild, and now it’s been 2 years and no outbreaks, my doctor believes I’m just a carrier. Which is good for me. I met this great woman been dating her for a month and tonight I told her of my little problem. She didn’t freak out. She said, let me talk with my OB and really think about it, but right now I have mixed emotions. 

I guess that’s the best I could hope for, was wanting others opinion on it, with people who are in relationships and have told there partner, could use some encouragement, please anything, because right now I’m very upset and scared what will happen. 

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WilsoInAus

I would agree I hope it turns out alright.

Did you get tested for type 1 or type 2 at the time of diagnosis?

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cp073025
1 minute ago, WilsoInAus said:

I would agree I hope it turns out alright.

Did you get tested for type 1 or type 2 at the time of diagnosis?

 

1 minute ago, WilsoInAus said:

I would agree I hope it turns out alright.

Did you get tested for type 1 or type 2 at the time of diagnosis?

I got diagnosed with 2! I got it from my ex, because she was having affairs and I found out about it a little too late. Now I have to deal with it. 

I hope it works out, my anxiety is extremely high right now, but my doctor told me there was no reason why I still can’t date, get married and have kids. That the social stigma is much worse than the virus. 

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WilsoInAus

Your doctor is spot on!

I am going to ask you to recheck the type. Just make sure your swab was properly typed, many are not and just assumed to be 2 given the genital location.

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cp073025

So you think I should get retested to make sure of the type then? Is 1 better than 2? 

Im hoping when she talks to her OB, she tells her exactly what my doctor told me, and put her fears to rest. I told her that this only chances things between us if we allow it to. 

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WilsoInAus

Yes I’d check if you don’t truly know. 

Having type 1 is different in the sense of:

- higher chance she has it as well; and

- lower transmission probability.

Wouldnt be a bad idea for her OB to test her too!

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Thursdaychild

My partner is a total sweetheart about it! There are a few ‘issues’ for me as I have regular outbreaks. For example, I abstain from sex whenever I feel the slightest thing, which means we sometimes go a while without sex. It upsets me but he’s lovely about it. Luckily, he has never shown any symptoms. 

One thing I would say is don’t downplay it to her. Anyone in a relationship with someone with herpes may also contract it. That’s a risk you both need to accept and minimise, otherwise the pressure on you will be impossible. 

Saying that, it is totally possible to have a normal relationship and you did the right thing by telling her. I’ve always been honest by date 2 and never had any issues! 

Best of luck! 

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cp073025

Thank you, that’s exactly what I needed to hear, I don’t want to put anyone in harms way, and she is just great, at least she didn’t freak out. She did say she knows a few friends that have it. So happy for you. I told her there is always a chance but by taking some precautions we can really minimize the risk and have s great relationship. I was told that around the 4 week period was a good time to tell someone. 

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cp073025

I told her, she can have all the time she needed to get used to the idea. 

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