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How long should one wait to tell someone you have Herpes?

cp073025

By cp073025,
in Spreading and Preventing Herpes

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  • 1 month later...
Dee22 Established Member

Dee22

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Posted

I think it depends sorry to hear. I think it places us in a really vulnerable situation and if u do not know if u want to keep seeing the person and u have only been on a few dates u do not need to tell them. I think of u feel u have seen them a fair bit and u may get intimate u need to disclose. If she was not willing to even hear u out that it is hard to have that talk and the fear of rejection then that says more about her. 

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  • 2 weeks later...
Ladyb2018 Honeycomb Member

Ladyb2018

Posted
Posted
On 11/5/2018 at 11:43 AM, cp073025 said:

I just told someone I was seeing that I had Herpes, I waited 3 weeks to tell her and she ended things because she felt betrayed. 

How did you explain it ? Do you have 1 or 2 ? I’m wondering and just would like to know as well . 

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Dee22 Established Member

Dee22

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There are some really good posts on disclosure on this site. Sometimes u can advise u tested positive for hsv instead of just blurting it out and then discussing how it effects u and what it means. If that person wont even hear u out... they aren’t worth it. But still a very bad experience for u and i am not minimizing it. I fully gwt the difficulty of it. As i am in the same boat. 

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    • EssenceL25
      Help me !!

      By EssenceL25 · Posted

      I’m going to force him to get tested ! Thanks for your help ! 
    • WilsoInAus
      Help me !!

      By WilsoInAus · Posted

      @EssenceL25 there really isn't a question mark around the source, it's your latest partner. The median time from infection to an outbreak of lesions upon initial infection is 4 days.  The only thing that isn't certain is the type I suggest.
    • EssenceL25
      Help me !!

      By EssenceL25 · Posted

      I asked if it was hsv 1 or 2 and the doctor said it was Hsv2. I’m not sure i just asked him when he was tested last he said this year I said I think we should go test together and he agreed . I’m going to bring it up again cause I really need to know if he gave this to me I wasn’t sure since it was so close to my previous relationship.
    • WilsoInAus
      Help me !!

      By WilsoInAus · Posted

      @EssenceL25 then it is all beyond reasonable doubt that the current partner is the source. A 'perfect' fit in terms of timing, symptoms and swab. It may be though that the type is not technically known. Culture swabs are very often not typed and just assumed to be HSV-2 if taken from a genital location. If you received oral sex in the days leading into 7 March then it is 50/50 as to whether this is HSV-1 or HSV-2. You could contact your doctor and confirm if the swab was actually typed (which is a second test where fluorescent antibodies for HSV-1 and HSV-2 are added and see which one 'glows').  If that test wasn't done then you do not know type. If you have oral HSV-1 yourself (cold sores) then this will be HSV-2. Does your partner have oral HSV-1? It is somewhat strange for him not to rush and test - many people have a 'reaction' if they truly do not know their status and have concerns that you infected them etc. (not initially rational of course). This indicates he may know his status - or maybe he just isn't simply the sharpest tool in the shed!?
    • EssenceL25
      Help me !!

      By EssenceL25 · Posted

      I had flu like symptoms and ulcers on my vagina . They did a culture and I tested positive for hsv2. I asked my partner to get tested he agreed but I’m not sure if he will cause he hasn’t said anything else about it. 
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