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Life101

When is a good time to disclose?

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Life101

Hey guys, 

I’m need of serious advice. I’ve been recently diagnosed and I’m currently talking/dating someone ( found out a week after we started talking ) , I really like him and we plan on having our first real date next month I’ve been avoiding it because of the diagnosis honestly. Nevertheless we are co workers so we keep it professional and just converse at work like normal and  talk on the phone and text all the time outside of work but we haven’t seen each other outside of work yet because I’m honestly trying to take it slow because I still have my reservations since the diagnosis especially with sex. I know I don’t want to disclose on our first date so I can get to know him more before I give out this type of information because we do work together but I definitely want to disclose before sex , I have HSV2 . Please advise I’m so lost or share a similar experience. Also what’s the transmission rate with antivirals and condom use ? Has anyone been dating that has HSV2 doing both and partner isn’t effected ? I just want to be able to educate him when it does come up.

Thanks guys!

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Zagi

I was diagnosed with hsv2 via blood test last year and haven't dated anyone until about a month ago. We haven't gone past hugs and quick peck on a lips so I'm kinda in a same boat as you. It is driving me nuts so I think I'll just tell him next time I see him. I just read on another post somewhere here a suggestion to say it like this: "I just wanted to let you know that I have/had cold sores. It's not big deal to me but I thought I'd disclose in case it might be a big deal to you". 

Do you have outbreaks? Where? Were you diagnosed via blood test or swab? 

If you Google Westover Heights clinic and go to their Forum you can find a lot of info about the rate of transmission, etc. According to Terry if you're using condoms and antivirals, and have sex twice a week, the rate is about 4% per year. 

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