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speechless_1

Its official... and I'm broken

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speechless_1

Well i got the swab results back and they confirmed the visual diagnosis.  Positive for HSV 2.  I knew the visual diagnosis was right i was kidding myself that the swabs might throw a spanner in the works.  Wishful thinking right!

Just told the guy that I've been with. He's doing a disappearing act - to have a think.  He knew i was waiting on the the results but he thought it wouldn't be Herpes (i had an outbreak while with him). He's going to get tested but i know i know i wont hear from him in 'that way' again.  Who knows if it was me or him who passed it. Ive ordered a blood test but that really wont change a thing.  

The heartbreaking thing is he is the first guy I've let in and liked and who has liked me.  He's a good guy.  Now I've given him herpes or he's given them to me.  I was finally in a good place...  then wham!!!! 

Fuck I'm sat here drinking prosecco feeling sorry for me.... crying every 5 mins.  

Had to call Dr today and ask for more aciclovir and he was so sympathetic... that made me feel like crying.  I'm at the end - hopefully - of my first outbreak.  Flu symptoms, horrible hip and leg pain, weeping sores, vaginal discharge, excruciating pain, pain to walk, tiredness... what the hell does this throw at you!  I had no idea this does this to you. 

Anyway, hello, I'm newly diagnosed with this and I'm hurting, physically and mentally.  xx

 

Edited by speechless_1

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imtryingmybest

I just got diagnosed as well. I'm completely heartbroken, and I have no idea who gave it to me. I have no idea how to tell these people. I guess I understand how hard it's been, I had/have all the same symptoms. We'll learn and grow and find which people will accept us as we are, each day is new and we always make it to tomorrow. It's never the end. 

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Hopingimwrong

I'm 39, and no official diagnosis yet, but what else is causing these fire spots in my crotch?? :( Doctor visually thinks that's what it is too.

I've never had an std in my life, and made it to nearly 40. Then get THIS one. 

My boyfriend of 2 months (whom I'm pretty sure I got it from,) swears hes never had any symptoms. I'm coming down from 2 weeks of HIGH fever, 4 missed days of work, 3 different doctors prescribing me all kinds of crap. Finally got the valtrex yesterday, but all it's done has made my once only tender spots turn into pricks of fire. 

Does anyone know if outbreaks happen in the same spot every time? Mine is all spread out. One at the top on the outside, one in the middle on the inside, and a couple right at the bottom. Those hurt the least. 

I'm trying to accept this new reality of mine, but its hard. At least my boyfriend feels guilty and isnt leaving me, even if hes negative. (Ive heard I could have been carrying it for a while......)

 

 

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speechless_1

@imtryingmybest thanks for the support and positive words.  Its going to be a hard journey but as you say we will find people who will accept us.  x

@RoseBud2255 i can see how this rollercoaster of feelings relates to the 7 stages of grief.  It is like losing my old self.  Your reply has really made sense and given me hope.  Sorry you've had such a hard time with your ex.  This website really is a shining light.  x

@Hopingimwrong snap...Im 41, never had an std then bam... here's herpes!  Im afraid I'm still learning about this so cant offer much advise.  I had a few sores external and internal.  I can still feel the tenderness,  I'm 2 week in to the outbreak and they are no longer burning.  Are you waiting on test results?  x

 

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Hopingimwrong

No, not technically. I was hoping he would swab but he didn't. They tried to take blood but I was too dehydrated and they couldn't get enough. I will follow up with my gp soon.

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speechless_1
12 hours ago, Hopingimwrong said:

No, not technically. I was hoping he would swab but he didn't. They tried to take blood but I was too dehydrated and they couldn't get enough. I will follow up with my gp soon.

I hope you are feeling a bit better.  

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Hopefullyhopeless

It seems as if we're all in this boat together. I got it from this female after I kissed her. & it is the worst thing ever. I made it 25 years without having contradicting anything. I have oral herpes & the medicine definitely doesn't work.

Thankfully I dont have outbreaks on my lips or none of that.

The biggest outbreak I have had so far is one on my nec & i have a couple tiny ones on both sides. Then i have tiny ones on my chest & a couple near my ribs. 

It is depressing to say the least. There are moments where I'm ok, I'm happy, but then there are moments where I wish I was beneath the world. The only reason I'm still here is because of my mother.

Peace love & happiness. You're not alone.

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Hopingimwrong

I am feeling loads better. Thank you! My sores are almost completely gone,  it will have been one week tomorrow from when they first showed up. Not bad for a first outbreak, I'm hearing. Now to just figure out how my body is going to respond. If I only have to deal with this once or twice a year, no biggie. If my body wants to do it 6 or 7 times a year, ima have a problem. Time will tell and I'm trying to not feel like a dirty, infected, worthless person in the meantime. 

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speechless_1

@Hopefullyhopeless Peace. love and happiness back at you. Its a rollercoaster of emotions for sure. x

 

@Hopingimwrong so glad you have got better quickly.  We are in the same boat now waiting to see how our body works with this.  Unfortunately I'm still suffering into week 3. x

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CC912

I was diagnosed in June and super sick in hospital doctors thinking I had meningitis until I found out a week later it was Herpes. I only had a few sores. heartbroken, missed work. So sick. I keep getting outbreaks since then but at least not sick. On Valtrex every day. The initial shock is better now but I’m so mad wondering who gave it to me? Like I want to go punch them In the face. But most confusing thing is my boyfriend who I’ve been with for over a year doesn’t have it. So can you really not get an outbreak for years later? I’m constantly wondering this. 

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