Jump to content
World's Largest Herpes Support Group
Sign in to follow this  
imtryingmybest

Just Diagnosed

Recommended Posts

imtryingmybest

Wow. So, I just got the test results about an hour ago. After calling my mom and sobbing uncontrollably, I did some reading. I read a lot about other women's experiences, and also ended up on this website. Needless to say, I am incredibly upset about it. I feel disgusting. Dirty, gross, like nothing. The worst part: I don't know who gave it to me. I have had more than one sexual partner this past month, and frankly, it is going to be fucking hard to tell them. I don't know how I am going to tell these people, how they will react, if they will tell our friends. Who will I be known as? Who will I become? I'm concerned about future relationships. How to tell those future boyfriends. Will anyone ever love me? I don't want this to become who I am, but right now in the moment, it's hard. Luckily, I am getting medication and seeing a therapist next week. I think that will help. I'm shattered. I'm currently in college, and this is going to be a chip on my shoulder for a while. It almost sucks not having other people know, because they have no idea how hard this is or what I'm going through-- getting diagnosed, all the symptoms, etc. For now, I'm going to try and just take each day at a time. Morale is low, will to live is low, but we always make it to tomorrow. Always. It's never the end, and I don't want this to be the end. Anyways, here I am: needing support, and also ready to give it. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
WilsoInAus

Hey there @imtryingmybest could I just start by saying how maturely you are handling this.

I do suggest not rushing too much I to any conclusions.

I think let’s deal with past partners first. I feel a lot depends on the circumstances and the type you have been infected with.

So starting there was your swab properly typed using an immunofluoresence antibody test?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
imtryingmybest

@WilsoInAus Yes, I went to an urgent care and they did a full pelvic exam, swabbing for everything. I just got the results today saying I tested positive. I'm not sure of the type, but there were symptoms mainly in the genital area, and slightly in the mouth. 

Edited by imtryingmybest

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
WilsoInAus

Please get a full printout of whatever is positive.

Check whether the culture swab was typed.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
imtryingmybest
2 hours ago, WilsoInAus said:

Please get a full printout of whatever is positive.

Check whether the culture swab was typed.

I checked, and the swab was not typed. It just says that it came back positive. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
WilsoInAus

Very often the case. You can ask your doctor for this sample to be typed using an immunofluoresence antibody test.

Was there only the one partner in the 7 days leading into lesions?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

  • Similar Content

    • Boom
      By Boom
      Does anybody have any suggestions on how you deal with pain at work or when you are out? I have hsv2 I am in the beginning of a break out this one is bad. I can’t really afford to call in so if anybody has any tips I would greatly appreciate it! Thanks. 
    • shitshow
      By shitshow
      I just got diagnosed yesterday 2/25/2019. I've almost been on meds a full 24 hours. It's been an actual shit show of a week.
      This week has been insane. At first symptoms didn't show up until four days after having unprotected sex. I have had chlamydia before (May 2018) and the symptoms looked the same. Wasn't painful until the fifth day. I kept asking my doctor for tests. "You have to set up an appt to get your lab paperwork (they don't do actual testing at my office, you have to go to the local hospital to do them)." So I get in there on the fourth day and nothing had even showed up yet. So I went to  the hospital the next morning (Friday 2/22/19) and got my tests done. Nurse told me I could come and get results later that day. I come back and they only have my hiv one done, and I already knew I was negative. They told me to come in the next day and all my tests would be done. At this point the symptoms are getting worse and I'm starting to feel pain and itchiness and the nurse says she can't do jack sh it (it's JUST a hospital, not like anyone knows how to do THEIR job right?). I come in next day- absolutely freaked. I'm hysterical, crying, and I want some fu cking answers. I walk into the main check in area to find a sign that says GO TO ER RECEPTION. I had called the hospital an hour beforehand to set my results aside so I don't have to wait 10 years for some stu pid papers. I walk to the ER, and I'm shaking like h ell. I look like I'm crazy and I ask for my paperwork. "Sorry? We're the ER and we don't take care of that stuff"
      Me:  LOOK. You guys have been bouncing me around for the past 3 days. Whatever the he ll I have is there and I KNOW I HAVE SOMETHING. All I want are my lab results. I called the front office and they said they set the papers aside and I could grab them. Whoever is manning the main office is on a break or something bc their sign said to come here so don't tell me you cannot help me. I have a physical condition and it's driving me insane. I've been going batsh*t about this since Thursday (at this point it is Saturday).
      Nurse: OK we found your paperwork in the lab (didn't even ask for my ID)
      Me: Finally. Jesus. (I look at all my tests and they are all negative) WHAT DO YOU MEAN NEGATIVE??? I can't even sit down and I have to cry my own eyes out when I pis s?????? You mean to tell me that I trust the fing system for once and you tell me to go blow myself when I'm in physical pain?  I need to be looked at? Where even is the herpes and trichomoniasis tests???? (the basic tests the doc gives you for stds are gonn, chl, syph, and hiv)
      Nurse: You have to ask for them
      Me: Can I have then please?? What buzz words am I missing? What part about THIS IS AN EMERGENCY I NEED HELP do none of you get?
      Nurse: Ask your doctor.
      Me: Yeah on a weekend. What help.
      Nurse: All your tests came back negative????? What's the problem??
      Me: There is clearly something wrong and I am SCREAMING FOR HELP and you, someone who works at the hospital, are going to stand there behind that desk and tell me you can't help me? You're turning me away when I beg for help?
      Nurse: The results are negative...
      I just storm out at this point and I'm hysterically crying and screaming at the top of my lungs because I'm in full panic and manic mode. I don't know where to turn. I go home for my dad's help and he takes my car away because I'm so upset (we have been on somewhat of a break bc of this whole fiasco and I've been staying with my friend) that I start frantically calling my friend and looking up bus schedules (she lives 20 miles away and such). She tells me to lay low and I'm ready to kill someone, if not myself because of how frantic I am. My dad doesn't understand this and it's absolutely aggravating because I originally went to him to vent and what I got was a lecture and a threat to kick me out of the house. After I left the hospital, I made the even bigger mistake of asking for a hug because he made me come inside and listen to him lecture for a f/ing hour, and then I was stranded and no buses were going at that point (it was like 8pm and hours are shorter on weekends).
       
      Next day I drive out to my friend's and the whole day I'm suffering and trying to work horses (I'm a 3 day event rider and my friend is a horse trainer, I'm her groom/assistant) and move items from farm to farm without passing out or upsetting the sock in my crotch.
       
      Next morning, yesterday (MONDAY 2/25/19) I call my actual doctor's office and demand that I see her today. They fit me in a 2pm spot. I take a shower and 10 minutes later I get a text and call from the reception saying doctor is out because she has the god da mn F L U. At this point I'm ready to give up. I have to put socks on my vagina so that the lesions don't touch each other and leak, I cry when I use the bathroom and I'm still scared to use the bathroom because of the infinite pain.
       
      I have no clue why I didn't do this in the first place, but my friend lives by a Planned Parenthood and so I marched my as s over there and I asked to be physically looked at and such. They fit me in.
       
      Nurse (one that checks you in, not the real doctor) asked me what symptoms were and what I've been taking, if anything. There's a medication that's made for humans but given to horses called SMZ. It's a STRONG antibiotic and my friend has Hashimoto's so her and her mom (her mother is my horse's farrier lol) told me at the very least take SMZ 3 times a day. I figure why the h ell not because it's not like anything will get worse. It just stopped the heavy slippery discharge, nothing else. So she admits me to the scary room with the freaky foot pedals, and I've never even seen a f uc king gyno? I don't know what to do but start hysterically crying. Doctor comes in ten minutes later and she tells me that she has to take a culture swab. The fact that I had just pis sed and disposed of my sock, opening all my lesions, I can barely even wipe my own as s. I'm sitting there crying hysterically telling her not to judge me because I made a stupid decision to have unprotected sex with a sh itty guy. She tells me she's gonna touch me with the testing swabs and the moment she touches me I'm crying and screaming at the top of my lungs PLEASE STOP PLEASE PLEASE STOP STOP STOP IT HURTS.
       
      I don't know why she thought this was a smart idea to tell me this but she straight up told me AND I QUOTE!!!!!
      "This is the worst and most severe case of herpes I have ever seen. I've been doing this for 36 years."
       
      Well that's awesome, I'm another statistic. I can't believe me it took 1 second to tell me I had herpes when I had been driving myself clinically insane for the since the last Thursday (this lasted Thursday to Monday). She gave me my medications and gave me a name of some supplements, and told me about socks being a good idea and whatever, pour water on myself when I pee so that it washes everything away, blah blah. Gives me my papers and I go back to my friend to confirm I have this fu cked up incurable disease. All the stress prior was gone. Done with my tears.
       
      I'm almost done with my first day of taking the meds. They feel a bit better. Unfortunately I'm on a time limit because I can't physically ride in this major horse show if I can't even sit on a still object. Hoping this at least stops feeling so painful by Thursday for my dressage test on Friday.
       
      thanks for listening the doctor at PP suggested I find one so I don't feel so alone
    • dontknowhowimhere
      By dontknowhowimhere
      I'm hoping someone can help me find this thread or tell me if it is even possible from the email below.
      Begin forwarded message:

      From:
      Date: July 6, 2009 at 08:48:01 EDT
      To:
      Subject: Please read this when you have a few minutes.

      This is a websight that has information about our situation. It is real people who are actually living with this...not just information that is based on "worst case scenario" type scenarios. 
      I started the thread last night and these are my responses so far. 
      http://www.herpes-coldsores.com/messageforum/showthread.php?t=18692
      I know you are at work and you probably shouldn't get into this until you go home...and I don't mean to pressure you, but for my own emotional stability, I need to know how you are reacting to this pretty quickly. I have decisions to make and a limited time to make them in. If this really isn't something that you can deal with then I need to know. I am a strong person and I have been through the fire before...but this is different and I need to know what direction to start moving in so that ………….. and I can continue to survive.
      I feel horrible. I am so sorry. This should have been dealt with from the very beginning. I should have given you the opportunity to say "hell no" and we both could have gone our separate directions.
       
      Remember though...this is something that 1 out of 5 people have...up to 70% don’t have any symptoms...when you do show signs they amount to little more than a skin aliment (online photos's are the absolute worst cases). Would you have been/are you willing to walk away from a family because of a virus that is so common and so mild that most people don't even know they have it?
      I am willing to work through your fears with you and pay my penance for lying about this. But I don't think it would be helpful in the long run, or lend to the healthiness of a life long marriage, for myself to always feel as if I were disgusting to you...to be reminded that you saw me as "diseased" every time we were to make love...to never feel sexy and attractive but only "contaminated" and "infectious". 
      If that is truly how you see me now...if the knowledge of this virus has erased or overshadowed everything else that you see about me until all that is left is herpes...then I think you should be honest with yourself and me about that. It will save us hurt and heartbreak and divorce in the long run. I can't put ……………….through any of that again and I will not bring another innocent life into a situation that is bound for divorce and life long hurt.
      I love you and I feel like a terrible person for creating this situation. I am so sorry that I wasn't honest in the beginning. I don't blame you for feeling however you feel, we are all entitled to our feelings and we both are entitled to make whatever decisions are best for us individually. If you can't see me as a sexy, desirable woman anymore...then I get that. Just please be honest with me about it so that I can make my own decisions regarding what type of life I choose for myself. I would rather live alone and in poverty for the rest of my life then be trapped in a sexless and resentment filled marriage, feeling alone and unwanted. I've done that one before and I will never go back to that again.
      I don't know what else to say. I love you and I am so, so sorry. I can't help that I got this disease as a scared, alone and self-destructive teenager...but I should have been honest from the beginning. I am so sorry. I am so sorry.

    • Gracieluewho
      By Gracieluewho
      I was just diagnosed with HSV 1 and this was the first time I had been tested for it. I am not sure how long I’ve had it and now I’m feeling a lot of stress and anxiety. A lot of my friends have had cold sores before and I know they’re super common but I am so afraid of passing it to someone else with an unknown outbreak. I know that HSV 1 can be oral or genital but is most commonly oral. I don’t think I’ve had an outbreak yet because I figured it would be easy to recall. I’ve had a small fluid filled bump above my lip for a month or so that at one point I picked off and it grew back. It hasn’t bursted and doesn’t hurt at all. I’m not sure if this is my first outbreak or if it’s just something else. Is there any kind of medication I can take to lower the chances of spreading it to another person?
    • Viralnow1
      By Viralnow1
      I was diagnosed with herpes-2  about 3 weeks ago, I had gone in for std testing because my boyfriend cheated. I had been having strange side cramps then some discharge I anticipated a yeast infection. I told my gynecologist that I had been getting chafe a lot but only on one side of my vagina. She suggested getting full testing as it may be herpes that has not come through (a breakout) yet. While I did have a yeast infection two weeks later I learned I had herpes. I have been with him 3 years and was tested and clean before him and one year later after finding he had another girlfriend I tested clean again. When I told him he was very calm too calm and I think he knew he had it! I also found condoms that had fallen out of his bag a few weeks ago. I can not understand why he would do this to me.
  • Trending Now

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
      69,536
    • Total Posts
      468,286
  • Posts

    • viralfrog
      I'm 99% confident that these are caused by Herpes. This is what they looked like when I first caught the virus, and in the same spots as well, although now much milder and smaller in size.  I have tested positive via swab when I first got the virus, and two times via blood test. However, since several people here are doubting my symptoms are caused by HSV, I might do another swab just to be sure. It's still good to rule anything else out beforehand. 
    • Nicki0605
      And btw  @ayekayelle I’m sorry you’re considering divorce. I hope you are able to work it out with him. But if you’re not happy I think it’s worth taking the risk of leaving! You deserve to be happy!
    • Nicki0605
      Ikr! I’ll have guys be like “oh yeah you’re right, you’re not gross or less valuable but it is a deal breaker” I don’t really blame them (because I am still coming to terms with it being “not a big deal”) 
    • G77
    • Quest
      It's very possible he or you were mostly a carrier. Neither one of you have to have sores all you have to do is shed.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.