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KG303

Am I wrong though?

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KG303

Woohoo, guys still wanna have sexy time with me herpes and all. Cool, whatever, I’m just terrified of giving it to someone else. MOST of the time it’s not a big deal. I forget about it but then I trick myself into “what if I have a baby and give it herpes, what if nobody ever wants to be with me” and all that jaz. I’m in a predicament right now. I’ve screwed 4 people in these 21 years and I’m not big on random hookups so when I told all of my exes they were like ok, that sucks, whatever. Not to make anyone feel bad but I don’t see how people are so nonchalant about it. No it’s not a big deal at all and it’s very manageable but idk are men just all immature? For instance, I was having sex with my ex and he knew all the risks associated and still went on with it. Then he changed his mind. Then he changed it back to “let’s have sex.” Herpes doesn’t define me, I’m a great person but still. I explained to him that I’d rather have sex with my giver whenever I have my needs until I find my night and shining armor, and boom just like that he was pissed even though I had him in my best interests and wanted to do what was best for us and protect him. I don’t get it. The last thing I need is someone saying “you gave this to me” or hating me if all goes to shit. It’s great that some people are fine with it, that gives me hope for my future husband or whatever but what if it all goes bad?? Should I feel bad? I disclosed and gave facts but I really feel like I should’ve had a more adult conversation. I’m not on any antiviral so maybe that’s something I should discuss but idk it’s still awkward and it’s hard. Should I feel guilty? We use condoms every time but I just don’t feel like that’s enough. And this my friends is why I’d prefer to mess around with people who already have the dang virus. Worrying about spreading this mess takes a toll on you, & ya can’t recatch it once you’ve got it . I just don’t want to feel guilty and I do all I can to protect him but I just feel like it’s never enough and it would really kill me inside. I should probably just leave him alone and ask if we could just be friends if it’s worrying me this much, right?

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Quest

I think you should have as normal of a sex life as you can and each person is very aware of the risks. Let them decide if they want you to take antivirals? We can just do our best. And sometimes like other things we just have to let it go. I guess it's never too late to have the conversation in more detail. Nothing wrong with that and you were just trying to protect him, but he's not going to want to hear about having sex with anyone other than him.

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KG303
9 hours ago, Quest said:

I think you should have as normal of a sex life as you can and each person is very aware of the risks. Let them decide if they want you to take antivirals? We can just do our best. And sometimes like other things we just have to let it go. I guess it's never too late to have the conversation in more detail. Nothing wrong with that and you were just trying to protect him, but he's not going to want to hear about having sex with anyone other than him.

Thank you, I appreciate it. I just beat myself up sometimes thinking about what would happen but I make sure they all know the risks and always give them a choice. 

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