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Boyfriend won’t kiss me

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A few months ago I went through an online lab order and local testing center for a general test of everything.  I came back positive for HSV1, much to my surprise.   I was curious how long I’d had it, and looked in my military records.  At least since 2009.   No symptoms.  I don’t know when I got it.  Probably as a kid, as most people do. 

Anyway, I told the guy I’d been dating for a month or so.  We didn’t kiss for weeks.  He kissed me for about a month, and then, pointed out in public one day that i have a red spot on my upper lip.  It’s still there and it’s been there for as long as I can remember.  I also have red moles.  He hasn’t kissed me since.


It’s his prerogative not to kiss me, but he has no issue with oral sex, whereas I hesitate and ask if he’s sure beforehand.  The logic doesn’t make sense.  

Im trying not to be hurt by this and understand his decisions.  It hurts and I can’t help it.  I can’t help but think of all of the men I’ve kissed before who never got anything from me.  


I just wanted to vent. 

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