I never thought I'd see the day that I would be posting in an online forum, let alone for this topic. I also never thought in a million years that I would get this. Im not really sure what to say on here, I just needed to say something. I was recently diagnosed positive for GHSV2... like "4 hours ago" newly diagnosed. I am still just in complete shock. It hasn't settled with me yet that I will be dealing with this for the rest of my life. I already picked up my medication, Valtrex, and it took me a solid 3 minutes to even bring myself to swallow the pill, cause I had this deep sinking feeling, like "once I do this, it's for real... this is actually happening... this is actually my life now.. this isnt some terrible nightmare that Im going to wake up from." Ive already called my (new) boyfriend and broke the news to him. He was much more understanding than I had expected and is actually going tonight to get himself tested, so we can decide where to go from there.
So I had my doctors appointment yesterday with a new gyno who upon immediately examining me came to the conclusion that what I had was herpes. I didnt want to accept it and continuously reassured her that it couldn't be that because I had just gotten tested in June and those results came back NEGATIVE. Or so I had thought... Apparently, my results in June did NOT come back negative, and in fact came back positive for HSV2, yet NO ONE called me to review these results or follow up with a care plan for me. I don't remember much from that time, but considering the fact that I have been living for almost 5 months now, unknowingly with this virus, tells me that IF/WHEN I had spoken to someone at that particular doctors office, than they must have told me that I showed negative for everything, because I went on living my life like I had nothing. Im not sure what the protocol is in different states, but for VA (where I live) the doctor usually calls you and states that "they received your results and then they proceed to read off said results for each test" over the phone. I know for a FACT, that I would have remembered being told that I was positive for ANYTHING back in June.. especially considering I usually get myself tested often at and take testing very seriously, since I always dreaded the thought of ever catching something. And now.... look where I am left!!! I feel incredibly hurt and angry that this office failed to discuss these results with me! I never received a paper copy of my results, no email, nothing. The only thing I ever received from that visit was a bill stating the amount of money I had left to pay after insurance, and what tests the charges were for. Had I known that I tested positive back in June, I would have NEVER exposed my boyfriend who I very much care about and saw a new future with. I will feel incredibly guilty if his results come back positive and come to find out that I AM the reason for his diagnosis.
Im sorry this is so long, I just have so much inside me that I need to let out. Clearly, you can see I am incredibly angry at this. I feel immensely isolated. I feel dirty. I feel like no one will ever love me again. I feel like even if I find a new partner, how can someone willingly choose to be with a person who has herpes, when they are not infected themselves? Why would they subject themselves to that exposure when there are plenty of other people they can be with who aren't exposed? I have always had a poor self image, I'm incredibly self-conscious. I consistently, on a daily basis struggle with self esteem issues and self-worth... and now, to have this psychological trauma and burden to add on top of all of that?! I don't know how to live with myself and I feel like my world is falling apart and I would be better off dead, than have to deal with a lifetime of loneliness and misery that comes from this psychological pain I am going through.
I know I keep reading that "this isn't the end of the world", and "things will get better", etc etc. but being as this is DAY ONE for me.... and I feel like this... I can't imagine having to feel this way EVERY DAY, for who knows how long... until I just feel completely numb from it. I guess when that day finally comes, it'll also be the day that I start getting over it and dealing with this. But from this point A until that point B... the thought of that time in between just feels like so MUCH to deal with. So much pain, and hurt, and sorrow, that I just don't want to feel. not right now, not for a few months, not ever.
I can't be the only one who has felt this way. I am trying to be positive and divert my energy into researching this illness and finding support groups and forums like this, but I just need to know that I am not alone in this. I know for right now, that in my physical, every day life, the relationships/friendships I deal with in-person on a daily basis, I will be alone for the time being... but I really just need to know that I can, at least, find some support online... from others who understand me or have felt similar to what I am feeling right now.
I’m so fucking upset. I found out I had HSV2 this last June and I was so sick in hospital (before I knew) with fever chills my whole body felt like it got hit by a truck. They thought I had meningitis. Then I realized I had sores and got tested for herpes and came back positive. So since then I keep having outbreaks! I have a healthy diet I don’t drink I live a normal life. I even got vitamin C powder and L-lysine to take. My doctor ended up putting me on Valtrex to take every day since I kept getting outbreaks. But nope! Still Happening. I swear I get them every other week and it makes me SO ANGRY I’ve never had so much rage I seriously hate my life now. I can’t even exercise anymore and I’m afraid to even have sex with my boyfriend who surprisingly doesn’t have it. Does anyone else get them all the time? I’ve never talked to anyone about it besides my doctor and boyfriend so figured I’d join this thing and at least talk to someone who has been through it. UGH
Wanted to find out people's reoccurrence with hsv2
-How long you've had hsv2
-How your first outbreak was
-How many outbreaks you've had since the first and how the severity is of the reoccurring outbreaks
Hoping to get some positive success stories with hsv2
Any success with only herbal supplements
This week my pregnancy ended after an ultrasound showed no heartbeat at 8.5 weeks. I had an outbreak just the week before. Naturally I believe that this caused my miscarriage. Everything was progressing perfectly up until that point. This is now my 5th loss and with every miscarriage I had an outbreak within days before. I can’t help but think that this is the underlying cause of it all. All of my doctors have said that the likelihood of the HSV being connected to my losses is rare. But I have also read mixed things online and feel like the medical community is generally uninformed when it comes to this.
Can anyone share their experiences with this? It would really help me to hear any stories of successful pregnancies with outbreaks in the first trimester ... or alternatively stories like mine.
Approximately 5 years ago a girl gave me a peck on the lips, I wiped my lips off.
The next morning I woke up with a painful rash all over my top lip that dried up and resulted in chapped lips, where the skin died and regenerated. No pus or obvious cold sore.
I have had this same outbreak approximately once a year in the same place except for this year where I have had it almost continuously, I have been very stressed.
I went to the doctor who says it isn't cold sores (I have to wait 2 weeks for a blood test), however I have found someone ( To those with oral HSV2 only by Penumbra,) who tested positive for HSV2 by blood test with my EXACT symptoms.
Before an outbreak, my lip/nose area is tingling a lot and I feel a strong twitching in my lip.
Is it possible that I have mild cold sores?
I would greatly appreciate any help