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1hopnot

i love me. i love me not....

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1hopnot

I struggle everyday its just been a month since I've been diagnosed. Somedays I wake up fine then other times I feel just like others struggling with the hopeless, sometimes suicidal feelings. Especially when you don't have the support from the person you've been with ot the one you might actually have contracted from. I don't think its a matter of wanting to die I think its a matter of people who don't have this ( or at least they don't think they have it!!) The way they judge it and view it. Because its a sometimes painful, negative virus, especially in the worlds eyes. Because if you google HERPES the worst case scenerios come up. The main links are people with bad stories and bad cases. You don't see the headline saying " everybody has it" or "mild cases" or "herpes not easily detected" or "blood test" even in the doctors office. When your sitting there spread eagle with clamps inside your va jay jay you notice the back of the gynos patient room door focuses mainly on which birth controls you have to choose from. They don't have much about herpes, until they are actually verbally diagnosing you with herpes handing you 3 prescriptions one for the cream, one for the urniary tract. One for the bacteria infection and one for the yeast that's going to come from the urinart tract side effects ohhhhhh and one for the BIG BLUE "V" with the valtrex dvd that has some old lady acting like your mom thats SUPPOSED to help you cope. But your world is flipped upside down and you don't want to hear that shit!

Thanks ladies and gents. Have a good night!!!

Oh and this is random but a funny thought. When I first joined this sight I was so anxious to get on here I didn't read my user name when I confirmed it so its 1hopnot. It is supposed to be 1HOPENOT. Because when I joined I HOPED I didn't have herpes. Ok...well thanks for reading!

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catiesmom

I've always sort of wondered about your username, but didn't ask. I just figured you couldn't spell. ;)

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NotSoGood

I understand how u feel. When I found out I wasnt doing good thats why my name is "NotSoGood". Since then I am learning to deal but its true they do show the worst cases when u google. I dont have severe ob like the pictures I saw. I get one sore in one spot it is annoying but its managable

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Ren

Ur telling me! I started out w/ nothing and then i got herpes. Before this at least i was able to have sex with the girl, who wont have me now cuz of it. Now, im drunk and the gun in my top drawer is lookin purty tasty. Hope u have better luck than i do. BANG!

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catiesmom

Wren, please tell me you were just exaggerating cause you're drunk..... please?

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Ren

Still here

I wasnt exaaggerating Catiesmom, but thank you for ur concern. My friends took all my ammunition. 1hopnot PMed me and made me feel better.

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catiesmom

Well, i'm glad you're still here. Please, take it one day at a time -- tomorrow can only be better!!!

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