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mixer4

we had sex, ghsv1 help!! how to disclose now?

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mixer4

hi!
please i strongly ask for  your advices! i meet this girl she is my co worker, we been spending time together after work,  then the first kisses and so on, we been  physically attracted and we had sex.

NOW........i really don't know what to do, if simply let it go like this or give her the talk
 i really like her so instead to proceed in something more complicated i'd like to talk to her,  the big problem is HOW, WHEN... especially after we had sex i don't know how she could react
i know i been a piece of s**t doing that but i like  her and everything was perfect, i feel bad and angry, what we have it's like a curse
i'm been positive since February with no second ob, no meds no nothing, i just take some of it days before we met in case was going to happen what is actually happened

every word will be precious in the good or in the bad, thank you!

Edited by mixer4

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Roja

It doesn't matter if you want to continue with her or not - you should tell her. Imagine she got it and she will have sex with people without knowing it.

First: Get informed. Find out data, information, the risk of giving it to her. She will have questions.

Then: Invite her to your home or another quite place. For dinner or coffee or whatever. Sit down with her and tell her you have to talk with her. Be honest, tell her you have done something wrongly and apologise. But don't present herpes a big thing either (because it sucks, but we are not going to die from it). The bad thing is not herpes itself, it is that you didn't give her the possibility to choose. Google for "disclosure herpes" and you will find good advices for the talk.

However, as it is HSV-1, the possibility that she already has it in her body is quite high. So maybe things are not as bad as they look now :-)  

Edited by Roja

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mixer4

thank you for your reply
i will give a look hopefully i'll have some chances
another question, as women if it was you, what would be your reaction? and what would be nice to hear ?

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Roja
3 hours ago, mixer4 said:

thank you for your reply
i will give a look hopefully i'll have some chances
another question, as women if it was you, what would be your reaction? and what would be nice to hear ?

That is hard to say. It depends on her, on her opinion about you, on how grown up she is, what her opinion on herpes is... But based on my personal experience I can tell you that non of the people I disclosed to were shocked or anything. I think depends on how you tell her. If you feel ashamed or cry or whatever she might get nervous. But if you tell her as it is - as a medical fact - that you are dealing with normally, I think it is not a big deal. 

I think, in my opinion, the most important thing is to be honest, understanding and give her time to react. 

Would you still kiss a girl if she had HSV on her lips? So why is it such a big deal "down there"? :-)

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