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I need advice...

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Hello, my girlfriend told me about a week ago that she has herpes (not the oral one, just genitally) and that she really didn't want to give it to me so we ended up finishing our relationship against both of our desires and it hurt so bad :( . It was very hard for me to hear and even worse for her to tell me. Since she got herpes the only break out she has had was the initial one. Since that she has taken Valtrex and everything seems fine. I guess my question is that when the time comes for us to be intimate with each other and she hasn't had an out break since the initial one. If we use protection and she takes her meds; Is there still a chance that i will get it? And if so what is the percentage? I mean i know for a fact i have no STD's and i would prefer to keep it that way just for my own well being. This is a terrible situation that we have both been put in, if someone could just help me decide on what to do it will make both of our lives so much better.

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From what i've been hearing theres a 4% chance that you can get it.. There is alot of information on these pages about just that question.. Good Luck in the search .. and You are good Man for staying with her and seeking infomation .. Most Men and Women dont stay once told :)

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most don't stay

because they have a choice.

if you're choice is to stay, if i were you i would go to my doctor to ask questions...

my guy & i have been together 3 years. my herpes started about 18 years ago.

my guy has not had herpes (yet) from me. we use condoms if i have PRODROME. we abstain if i have an outbreak. i'm not sure if oral sex (to do for him) is okay when i have an outbreak (not sure if the saliva sheds cells) but so far he's okay.

i'm not subservient to him: it's a real chemistry thing. we're hot for each other. so it's a mutual pleasure if i play with him during my outbreak.

i just read today about the potential of saliva having cells in a genital outbreak... the article stated a low percent but it's food for thought.

my hope is of course that my guy will always be herpes free but there is an inherent risk of my forgetting to use a condom on a day i have prodrome symptoms.

for me, i count any twinge down there, any vague discomfort - as prodrome. then i use protection for about 8 to 10 hours afterward at least.

condoms don't bother him but i'm not sure if i could deal with always using condoms.

using them all the time seems to be the only way to be truly careful, though....

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My doctor told me that even using condoms doesn't stop it. It is anywhere in the underwear/boxer area. It is transfered through skin to skin contact and it isn't always just on the parts a condom protects. If she is on supression therapy like valtrex it helps to reduce sheding (spreading). Herpes itself really isn't so bad. It is painful at times but the stigma that goes with it is more than the actual disease. You need to think hard about it and you are a strong person for seeking information. Many men run away when told about something like this.

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