Jump to content
World's Largest Herpes Support Group
Hannah95

Fresh out of a relationship. How do I tell new people?

Recommended Posts

Hannah95

I recently got out of a relationship (from the person who gave me hsv1). How do I tell someone new that it’s not a big deal? Often times I forget I even have it because I haven’t had an outbreak since my first (over a year ago). I know I have to tell them still but how do I make them understand it’s not this horrible thing people make it out to be? 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Anon222

JBnATL has a great topic about this at the top of this section. I would check that out! 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
WilsoInAus

@Hannah95 having g HSV-1 opens up a few avenues.

I’d open with that you have the cold sore virus and about some mutual testing before sex. If you both slam down positive HSV-1 tests then happy days. There’s but really any need to then discuss location.

Renember that more guys have HSV-1 than don’t. You’ll often be greeted with a comment such as that they get cold sores too.

If they are negative, the mature ones will know 2/3 or more women have HSV-1 anyway. It’s a risk they have taken before and undoubtedly will again.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

Advertisement

Try a Lysine supplement for cold sores

  • Similar Content

    • Mbtb
      By Mbtb
      Im a 23f and I’ve been hanging out with a 31m for about a month now. We met through a mutual friend and I’ve held off on sex (I don’t just sleep with people). However the main reason is bc I had to disclose that I have Ghsv1. I found out in July of 2017 when I had a sore at the opening of my vagina. I haven’t experienced anything from it since. Negative for hsv2, but positive for hsv1. 
      I disclosed to him yesterday by first asking if he’s ever had a coldsore, he said yes. And of course I felt immediate relief bc it’s like “awesome, he carries the same virus too so there’s no issue.”. I explained that I have it too, but downstairs and how I got it and how it doesn’t effect me at all until I have to have the conversation about it. He asked if it’s something I take medication for and I said I could but mine is already low risk as is. I told him how ghsv1 isn’t commonly transmitted to genitals bc it prefers the oral area and told him how there’s a 4% chance with no condom and 2%. I explained how the stigma is the worse thing about it and how a previous partner never contracted anything from me. 
      He said I dropped a bomb on him and I told him if he’s had a coldsore he carries the same strain. I just have it in a different area and can’t give him something he already carries. He said it’s the same but it’s kinda different. At that point I felt like I was losing an uphill battle. He thanked me for telling him and told me how he’s had chylamidia before and knows some stuff about herpes and outbreaks. I told him its not what it is if he thinks herpes. He told me he doesn’t think any less of me. He said it’s not the end of the world but it is something he’s gonna have to think about and process and it’s gonna take him some time to wrap his head around it and see where that leaves things with us. I asked if i could tell him stuff I’ve found out about it and he said we could talk about it but he’s still gonna need some time to think about it himself which I understand. I told him I hope he doesn’t just go off what he thinks he knows about it. I also hope he comes to his senses and realizes how much of a nonissue it is. I told him it’s nothing to me and he said he wouldn’t say it’s nothing but it’s not the end of the world. I still stayed last night and he didn’t cuddle with me at all. I told him he was already treating me different and he said he’s just trying to process everything and he can’t just act like it’s not a thing. I’m giving him some space and hoping he does research on a reputable site. He’s so nice and I don’t have the best track record and the thought of meeting someone that actually treats me well and it getting ruined bc if this breaks my heart and terrifies me:(
    • seanriley213
      By seanriley213
      Can I please get someone to talk to here?????? I think I'm drowning in pains
    • Skye249
      By Skye249
      How do you strike a balance between remaining unemotional in delivering a disclosure speak and any subsequent questions and being honest about how it has affected you emotionally?
      For me, the emotional fallout of dealing with HSV has had a huge impact and I find it hard to rationally think about how I would deal with this and all the stress of worrying about transmission without letting on how much I am thinking about it – to not scare the other person away and make them think HSV is something to worry about.
      I would want to inform a partner yet enable them to think about it with as little negativity as possible, and yet how could I do this if I was being honest about how I really feel about it?
      And if I couldn't be honest about my journey with it, would that in itself cause more resentment, anger and bitterness? This time directed at the virus itself not the person that gave it to me?
      In essence, for me, dealing with HSV on an emotional level wouldn’t end after a successful disclosure where someone wanted to be in a relationship with me. It’s not the end of the story.
      I've always had an anxiety and I've been seeing a counseller for two years now, as a result of getting HSV. It's not helping.
    • Locs
      By Locs
      I gave my partner oral herpes but I haven’t told him yet. I was just diagnosed 2 days ago. A little background, I’m a normal 20 something year old. I have been having sex with my partner for about 7 months now. When we first started messing around it was more so of a thing that “just happened” (protection was used) around this time he was also talking to another girl as well. We eventually just started hanging out more and we got closer. We’re together all the time, even though we never actually said we were boyfriend and girlfriend. Back in june I was raped by my boss ( he didn’t use protection) I told my partner and we’ve been working through the problem together. My roommate also told me after 2 months of living together that she has type 2 herpes. I was only frustrated with her because she didn’t tell me before we moved in. Not that it would have changed anything, just that I would have taken better precautions because we share practically everything.  I was open with him about me feeling sore down there before I went for a check up. We both thought that I just had gotten a cut from rough sex. He performs oral on me often and he told me how he saw the “cuts” as well but he still proceeded to perform oral a little until i told him it felt too uncomfortable. After that incident we haven’t been having sex until I felt better. (I’m pretty sure that’s the moment I passed my virus on.) I took it upon myself to look at my “cuts” in a hand mirror and it looked too serious to just be from rough sex. I’m not sure if my roommate, him, or my rapist passed it on or maybe I have had it and not known. I just really don’t know how to tell him. The hardest part about having this is that I can pass it on. I just feel so low. And now all I can think about is my rapist and how he could have possibly gave it to me. I ruined my partners life and I’ve been trying to build the courage to tell him. 
    • Blackboi
      By Blackboi
      It was on the 12th of August, 2015 when I realized or had my first out break. Few days before that day (August 12th), I went to a friends birthday party, I had so much alcohol, I was happy then I met this girl, she was kinda alone and me! Feeling like a superstar wanted to cheer her up. 
      So we talked and I gave her some alcohol, she was so much excited and we danced, hugged and even cuddled while dancing. Then she told me she was tired she needed to seat she asked if we could take a walk away from the party. 
      Whom am I to say no, after all she is very pretty and sexy, I took her to a nearby uncompleted building, she asked if she could smoke? I said yes sure feel free. She smoked we had some more drinks, then it happened. We had unprotected sex in that building, although I deed the withdrawal method, hoping and feeling everything is ok. 
      To cut short the story, I started noticing some bumps like objects on and around my penis. To be honest, I was so scared there was nothing that didn't Cross my mind including HIV. I browsed the net for clues or similar symptoms, I became all the more confused. 
      The out break and symptoms lingered for weeks, on the 4th of October I summoned the courage to see a doctor, he examined me and suggested a couple of test. I ran the tests and it was confirmed, I had been infected with Herpes Virus. He then prescribed some drugs for me, which I bought and took according to the prescription. 
      1 and 1/2 weeks later the symptoms cleared and the itching stopped, I took the complete dose just to be sure and it seems like all was ok. By the end of November I noticed a fresh out break again, I went back the doctor he asked me to buy the same and continue the medication, he added that that's herpes for you, just when you think they are gone, they reappear. 
      While taking the drugs the doctor adviced me to avoid alcohol and other substance that may weaken my immune system, it then means I was also suffering from weak or low immune system because as at when I did the test, my white blood cell count was 5700 it was a bit low. 
      This means I had to take my drugs regularly to keep the out break away. To sum up my story, I travelled to the village on the 23rd of December for a burial arrangement. In the course of the event I was discussing with my uncle then I opened up to him and shared my experience. 
      That was when he mentioned moringa leaf and seeds to me, he went into his house brought out a small plastic can filled with moringa seeds, he said I should eat about 4 to 5 seeds three times a day, then take about 3 ounces of dried moringa leave add to a kettle and boil, after boiling I should just drink it like a normal green tea. 
      I spent my remaing days of the festive season in the village, while taking my moringa seeds and tea. I returned to the city with a hand full of seeds and leaves and continued my moringa therapy for the next 3 months. On the first week of April 2016 I decided to take another test, the test result came out and this time my white blood cell count was 8600, although the HSV is still there but I haven't noticed or had any out breaks since I started taking the moringa seeds and leaf. 
      Today is the 27th of July, 2018 and I am glad to say that I have noticed any out breaks since then and I have not been taking any HSV drugs as well. more so, I am proud to say that I am a father to a lovely beautiful baby girl. Although at first I was scared if my girl friend had been infected because I didn't have the nerves to tell her and she was begining to get upset of my frequent use of condoms. 
      So I stopped using the condoms and we had intercourse, and the result is a lovely beautiful baby girl, while we were at the hospital I requested that a test be carried out on her, LO and BEHOLD she was and is still HSV negetive. 
      So my dear lovely people, please don't beat yourself over this, it is most certainly not the end of anything in your life, all you guys need to do is boost your immune system naturally to fight the virus from the inside. Anywhere you find yourselves, please kindly look for moringa seeds and leaf, chew at least 4-5 seeds a day and if you can get the leaf, take two cups of the tea in the morning and two cups in the evening and all will be well with you. 
       
      Thank you all, remain bless
      hendrick.laama@gmail.com
  • Trending Now

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
      68,819
    • Total Posts
      460,222
  • Posts

×

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.