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Hannah95

Fresh out of a relationship. How do I tell new people?

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Hannah95

I recently got out of a relationship (from the person who gave me hsv1). How do I tell someone new that it’s not a big deal? Often times I forget I even have it because I haven’t had an outbreak since my first (over a year ago). I know I have to tell them still but how do I make them understand it’s not this horrible thing people make it out to be? 

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Anon222

JBnATL has a great topic about this at the top of this section. I would check that out! 

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WilsoInAus

@Hannah95 having g HSV-1 opens up a few avenues.

I’d open with that you have the cold sore virus and about some mutual testing before sex. If you both slam down positive HSV-1 tests then happy days. There’s but really any need to then discuss location.

Renember that more guys have HSV-1 than don’t. You’ll often be greeted with a comment such as that they get cold sores too.

If they are negative, the mature ones will know 2/3 or more women have HSV-1 anyway. It’s a risk they have taken before and undoubtedly will again.

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Pixie94
On 12/5/2018 at 5:17 AM, Hannah95 said:

I recently got out of a relationship (from the person who gave me hsv1). How do I tell someone new that it’s not a big deal? Often times I forget I even have it because I haven’t had an outbreak since my first (over a year ago). I know I have to tell them still but how do I make them understand it’s not this horrible thing people make it out to be? 

Hello Hannhah95. 

I was in a similar situation to you, I caught HSV1 from an ex and then when I got out of the relationship I was worried about telling someone.  I told the next guy I was seeing. He was the first guy I told and I was very embarrassed and upset. I told him all the facts, how I caught it etc. I think he appreciated me being honest and told me that made him like me even more. We have now been together for 2 years, live together and as far as we know he has never caught it from me. He has never experienced any symptoms. But I am so glad I told him in the early days as I have OB’s quite often so when I’m feeling a bit down when I’m going through one I don’t have to hide what’s going on. Makes everything easier if you are just honest! A decent guy won’t run a mile! 

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Ribbon35
On 12/17/2018 at 2:41 AM, Pixie94 said:

Hello Hannhah95. 

I was in a similar situation to you, I caught HSV1 from an ex and then when I got out of the relationship I was worried about telling someone.  I told the next guy I was seeing. He was the first guy I told and I was very embarrassed and upset. I told him all the facts, how I caught it etc. I think he appreciated me being honest and told me that made him like me even more. We have now been together for 2 years, live together and as far as we know he has never caught it from me. He has never experienced any symptoms. But I am so glad I told him in the early days as I have OB’s quite often so when I’m feeling a bit down when I’m going through one I don’t have to hide what’s going on. Makes everything easier if you are just honest! A decent guy won’t run a mile! 

How soon did you tell him? I have HSV2 and I started dating this guy I met online a month ago. We've only hung out three times and have kissed a couple times. Taking things slow. I like him a lot but we haven't yet gotten to the point of being physical yet we are still getting to know each other and so I'm not sure when is the right time to disclose. Don't want to say anything too early but also don't want to tell him the day things get hot and heavy. Thoughts?

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